Dealing with blame for everything

[shyflower]

About a week ago I met this guy through a friend. He seemed nice and everything he complimented me and said he was attracted to me and he did treat me nice at first.. but then he changed. We hung out as friends and I had been upfront that is all I wanted. Then by Sunday he was making dinner plans for us to go out Thursday. Then things got bad,, he asked me Sunday to come over to his place.. he texted all day.. he asked Sunday night to meet him for breakfast Monday morning,, then Tuesday he was trying to get me to meet him at Red Lobster.. then he was asking this evening if I was at another restaurant. He knows my situation.. I have no car of my own.. I work a job now with hours I set.. etc. I told him that I cannot just quit work and come out and meet him..I have to borrow a vehicle.. he already knew all of this from the start. He was already making plans to go out of town with me.. he became pushy, clingy, controlling, and mean to me all in 2 days time. I finally had to tell him I was not interested and he text me earlier and asked what I was doing even after I cussed him out.. He said to me " now now I have been nothing but nice to you for you to be like that towards me." He has become a leech and is now alternating his personality.. nice to me one minute and a butt the next. He blames me for everything.. I am the one with the problem.. I am the one with all the issues..Just because I am not bowing over and kissing his feet everytime he summons me. Now he says.. he will see me soon. I don't want to see him I am very afraid of him and he is acting crazy towards me.. How to get rid of him.. no is not the answer I already tried? I shake just thinking of what he could try..it really bothers me.

 

[Shymom]

Sounds like one of those scary guys I see on the ID channel. From what you describe I can picture him becoming violent. I would run....far far far away. Don't stay around that one, it will only cause trouble.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

1. Make very clear in plain, straightforward terms that you wish to be left alone. Do so by a medium which makes a record of it, like text.

2. If he does not leave you alone in spite of your clear desire to be left alone, contact the police.

 

[jc972]

Sounds like a total creep to me. Turned suspicious and controlling in a weeks time? Wow. .... thank God you're seeing him for what he is.

 

[Hellhound]

Call the cops on the psycho if he doesn't leave you alone.

 

[shyflower]

So far, he has not tried to get in touch with me.. but it's a new day and it could start anytime. The more I think about things I believe he is hiding a lot from me. I mean.. he won't even tell me his age. He says he works alot but has said he only works half days on Saturdays, he was off Sunday, Monday he only went into work for a couple of hours.. so that is telling me he has a alot of time on his hands and I don't.. So I'm wandering where is he getting all the money from he flashed because you can't spend it everyday with that kind of job,, which I don't know what type of job that is either.. He wanted to tell me all of those things in person...why not tell me now.. why wait? The plan was to go on a date tomorrow night Thursday.. he kept asking me was it Tuesday or Thursday? Before I blew him off I asked about a place that did karaoke and then he replied." Oh, I see you just do things on your time when you want to like everyone else does,, so you are the problem.. the problem is you". No the date was planned ahead and we even discussed the place we were going to eat at. Doing drugs maybe..that would alter his personality and his moods from one minute to the next.. I don't know, makes one think though :thinking:

 

[Scury]

You are so lucky that his abusive personality came out so early...before you got too involved. You really dodged a bullet here. I hope he leaves you alone because he sounds terrifying.

 

[shyflower]

You are so lucky that his abusive personality came out so early...before you got too involved. You really dodged a bullet here. I hope he leaves you alone because he sounds terrifying.

I believe he did catch on that I was not going to be pushed and he did say that he was going to back off... but he never did. I did some research online about the way he acted towards me.. that really helped me figure some things out. I know from current experiences .. I don't ever want a man like that in my life.. my Dad used to be a nice caring guy.. and when he got older he became so very pushy, demanding and verbally abusive towards me.. I have to take care of him now because he is in such bad shape and the more I do for him the more mouthy he gets with me.. I already have so much to deal with... :veryangry: .. yep, this is how I feel right now when I am treated like crap form anyone.

 

[Kiwong]

You shouldn't have to put up with that Shyflower. As you say you have more than enough to deal with.

 

[YukoNishi]

Wow girl I feel for your situation...
It seem to me that I almost always end up:
1)alone
2)surrounded by people I don't feel comfortable with but have no idea of how to get rid of them

or even when thats not the case if someone says
''let's hang up on friday! got nothing to do?''

I'm like, yes cool! I'll surely be there

and i say that just a few seconds before realizing that I've got indeed stuff to do on friday -.-
but then feel so godamn embarassed calling back and saying that i cant...
or even ....i really have and hard time saying no to people or rejecting them..
this lead to some VERY uncomfortable situation...like for real xD


anyway, this guy obviously was never actually ''nice''....he is one of those assholo guy who thinks that because they are ''nice guys'' they are entitled to sex/relationship and react to not getting their way with the maturity of a five years old kid ...
try to cut him of altogether
dont answer if he calls you
yadda yadda
after a while he will probably just quit bothering you
dont try to reason with him, or just ''see him less'' it wont probably work

 

[shyflower]

Wow girl I feel for your situation...
anyway, this guy obviously was never actually ''nice''....he is one of those assholo guy who thinks that because they are ''nice guys'' they are entitled to sex/relationship and react to not getting their way with the maturity of a five years old kid ...

Yes, the nice guy approach was just an upfront put on and once I caught on to the way he really was.. it was such a turn off anyways. I have never been one of those people to put up with last minute invites or hints. Something like him saying "I will be at Red Lobster at 4 if you want to join me." giving me 2 hours notice.. yet doesn't even consider that I was at work.. so I'm supposed to drop work and go see him. Even after I blew him off the first time 3 hours later out of the blue he had text " So, Are you at the mexican restaurant yet?" Well I never said I was going anywheres.. sounds so desperate! My rejections did anger him.. I could tell by the words that were written in the texts.. What he does not know is that there are alot of things that I do not tolerate.. especially when someone becomes nasty about it.

He has not tried to contact me as of yet.. and hope he does not.. my worry is what if I run into him in public.. how will I react?

I know he is hiding something.. It better not be that he spent some time in the NUT FARM.... I would actually believe it mg: