Do i have "SA"?

[Hawkwind]

Sorry for another one of these "do i have it" threads, i know i should
just go to the doctor and find out, but i need to be sure before i do.
:roll:

Erm..not sure how to write this, so i'll just list what i feel and
give a couple of examples.

I can go out of the house, but when i do i feel as if people are
looking at me and thinking what a fool, especially people driving past
in cars. And i'm really aware of how i walk, it just feels as if every
movement is being judged.

I feel quite shy towards my family too, at christmas there was a family
gathering at my grandmothers house, i was tricked into going. Anyway,
my parents and i were the first to arrive, so i sat down and felt
relieved and relaxed. Then as more people started to arrive i started
to read my camera manual. 2 hours later i had read the manual 5 times
:x , for 2 damn hours i pretended to be engrossed
in a manual that only takes 10 minutes to read, whilst the other people in the room chatted and laughed, i felt so humiliated.

And when i went out the room, i couldn't go back in, so i just stood in the kitchen for an hour, still pretending to read the manual.

I've not really worked for a year, and the only freinds i have are 3 people online

When i did work, i just felt as if everyone thought i was a fool.

I'm not sure if thats enough information....

Regards,

Hawkwind

 

[Anonymous]

hey dont be sad! it sounds like sa because i feel the same way. most people say they r comfortable with their family and stuff but am so not. i always make excuses not to vist my aunties and grandad and feel bad about it but hate having to visit them and sit in embarrassment and awkwardness where everything i say sounds stupid. it doesnst help that they r very conservative people doont talk about any taboos dont mention sex etc. very victorian! i hate it so much. my dad is just like that. i sometimes feel i would be so much bettr if my parents were more liberal and open, and actually talked about real life things that actually happen! im so scared to get a bf because i think it would be the most embarrassing thing in the world to tell my family and bring him home. just the thought meakes me cringe. sorry ive kinda strayed from the point but u know, gotta let it all out and stuff .lol. well yeah im so scared of cars too. not scared of them parked and empty, but i hate walking along and people in cars i alwaysthink are lauging at me. even if theyre not, it feels like a threat. and the feeling like a fool part yeah. i always feel liek people are thinking ''what a loser/loner /fool even if none of the above r true!

 

[Hawkwind]

Thankyou very much for your reply.

I find my parents to be quite liberal, which is quite annoying, i get so embarrassed when they ask me if i have met a girl, i think if i ever got a girlfreind and had to introduce her to my family, i would tell them that i was gay, and that she was just a loving freind.

Do you have a thought strategy, that helps you when cars drive past?

Well, thankyou again for the reply .

And i wish you every success in ovecoming your SA

Best Wishes,

Hawkwind

 

[Anonymous]

it certainly sounds like SA alright - i also get it with my family, even my parents, to a certain extent - i can't stand to be sitting in the same room as them if it's silent (eg. if they are reading) - the silence just seems so intense and i become very self-conscious and have to leave the room

as for walking along streets, busy with traffic, there are various strategies - one is mindfulness, where you focus on the physical sensations you feel when walking, the stretching of your leg muscles, the feeling of the breeze in your face and hair, the sound of your soles against the pavement, etc - you focus on these sensations and it helps take your mind off things like people in cars - but it takes practise, so don't give up if it doesn't work much during the first few weeks

i used to have that problem but it's nearly gone now, not just using mindfulness, though. i've also learned to force some of the self-conscious thoughts out of my head when out walking and try hard to think of things that I find really interesting...sometimes, I can go into a virtual day-dream for a minute or two......again, it get's easier with practise

you could also just take that camera manual with you everywhere and pretend to be reading it :lol: .....you could try getting a job as a photographer

 

[Anonymous]

scared of eyes

I know what your all going through! its tought having social anxiety. I think u r all so brave for hanging on to life and not killing yourselves

 

[Anonymous]

Social Anxiety

I am the son of a first generation immigrant.I remember my early years of childhood as an extremely tough time.My dad struggled to make a living and my mum had difficulties speaking english.Neither of them could settle easily into the Irish way of life.Because of this there was always a great tension in the house.This had a profound impact on me and my personaliity.Growing up in a working class area(my parents were very poor on arriving in ireland)i found it difficult to make friends.However i realised i could impress people by being funny.I suffered from bouts of bullying throughout my school years.My religion however helped me greatly in my times of sorrow.The fundamentalist christians within our year gathered together and we found it easy to get along with each other.However i was constantly bullied by a so called "friend".I knew i could not tell him to go away because of his physical strength and his higher social standing.I would became a outcast if I tried to stop the endless torment.My friends would often have "mess fights"(focused on beating up me) after which i would become quite bruised.I now realise I was being seriously bullied.However it was only in college that my true hardship began.Now no longer with my school gang,I felt lonely and abandoned.At least in my school I was not by myself all the time.I tried to become involved in student societies but was bullied out.All the people in my course think I am a weird rude loner.I now spend my days wishing I had more friends.I have at most two friends.For a twenty year old man this is pathethic.These past experiences have ruined my life.I have become a submissive unconfident loser.People think I am gay.This is too much.Please help me soon.

 

[Anonymous]

It all started at an early age, When i went to school i was very nervous i had no friends and was very introverted. As the months went by, the lonliness grew, and as the lonelness grew i became more introverted. Everyone played rugby in my school and i wanted to play aswell. I finally plucked up the courage and joined the team. Because of my introversion, and lack of self esteem,I was constanly the brunt of their jokes. In the changing room the anxiety would become so intense that i would often feel sucidal. After a few weeks the constant name calling manifested itself into physical bullying. One time , the leader of the group burned my arm with a cigarette lighter. It looked like that i had contracted ring worms and that name stuck. For the rest of my school years i was known by eveyone as the ring worm boy. In the last year i did very well in my exams and went on to study mechanical engineering in a university. I knew that uni was my chance to be the person i was meant to be. In the engineering class i was all alone, i had so called friedns or acquantinces but i knew they thought i was a loser. I tried to be funny , but all i got is fake laughs and dirty looks. Im in second year now and i feel alone. I walk around campus all the time on my own listneing to my ipod and pretending that im on the phone talking to someone. Im 19 and i feel so pathetic. Ive never had a girlfriend, and feel like such a loser. I don't think ill ever get one. I but on this hard front by slagging people and listening to ganster rap music to be kool. But inside i feel sucidal,, the only pleasure i have is to look a smutty pictures of women on the internet, knowing deep inside thats as far as ill get. Please help me im at the end of my teather.

 

[Anonymous]

Loser,

You need to help yourself. Do this by going to see your doctor and explaining what your problem is. They won't have a magical, instant cure, but they will recommend treatement. If you have SP, they will probably recommend CBT and possibly drugs, too.

Do it, don't just think about it. Things won't get any better until you seek out medical help. Trust me, I know, I've been there. This thing does not go away by itself, especially since you've had it for a long time now. It's now deeply ingrained in your psyche and you need to be guided in how to reverse it.