Do I have Social phobia ?

[Anonymous]

I dont know whether I do or I dont to be honest... but here's my problem.

I am 23 yr old graduate from a top university, with a degree in Business Studies and good academic record overall.

My problem is that I have somehow or the other LOST my ability to communicate or SPEAK.

When I say that I dont mean that presentations or social interactions make me feel nervous because I am a shy or reserved person, but my situation is slightly more complex.

For the last 4-5 years, since I started my A Levels and then my degree, I have devoted as much time to my studies as possible ; while I have friends, I was not so keen on socialising with them, going out etc ; because I wanted to devote as much time to my studies as possible (i guess that was partly due to family pressure and expectations).

Further more, we also moved houses about 3 or so yrs ago to a new area which did'nt help

Anwyay I gradually got into this habbit of less and less social interaction and going out ; because initially I wanted to spend that time on studies.

However my problem only then started to show up - Its hard to explain , but somehow I have almost FORGOTTEN how to talk.

When I try talking, its like my voice just behaves randomly and become unpredictable. I am unable to articulate words properly, has anyone else ever experienced this? its like my lips dont move properly when I talk but the wierd thing is this only happens RANDOMLY (not all the time ; occasionally I am speaking fine ). As a result I get a lot of people asking me to REPEAT what I Say or giving m strange looks. My speaking style has also become monotonous on occasions, sometimes I end up speaking in a different accent/style to different people ; ie, differently to my family and friends, differently at an interview or on the phone. I'm just clueless at what happens and it just doesn't sound like me or how I used to talk. I have had people telling me the same.

The biggest problem now is that I have become very self-conscious about how i speak and my voice/articulation, are my lips moving right? etc , etc.
I am unable to have conversations with people simply because I get anxious and PANIC when I realise my voice and speech isn't coming out right (its something that happens randomy and I dread its going to happen any minute)

As a result I am now stuck doing a job as a Word Processing operator which I chose because it involves little social interaction.

I wanted to pursue a career in marketing at a top firm but I guess that's only a dream now that will never be fulfilled.

The thing which hurts me is I was never like this as a child, at school I was known to be the most intelligent , assertive and talktative guy in my class. Always keen on giving presentations in front of the class.

I am still even today not AFRAID of public speaking - i know it sounds really wierd when I say this - but my voice/speech difficulties completely DISABLE ME, that causes me to panic, get anxious, frustrated and completely lose control.

I know my problem is extremely difficult to describe, but I will appreciate if someone can advise me and also if someone else has had similar expreiences.

 

[Anonymous]

I just wanted to add that this problem has been with me for last 3-4 yrs now, initially I didn't have the time to worry about it too much as I was studying and spent most of my time on my own, missing lectures and classes etc because I prefferede studying in isolation (its just something i found to be more effective way of learning, rather than fear of meeting ppl ). But now that I am working full time, I realise how crucial the ability to COMMUNICATE is to our success in both personal and professional lives and how much it paralyzes you.

I want to mention a couple of other symptoms I have: extreme dryness in throat and mouth , along with that I feel my voice gets very very hoarse, raspy and tired as well.

 

[Anonymous]

I'm unsure whether or not your anxiety over your voice falls under the umbrella term 'social anxiety'. In a way this is merely a matter of semantics and such labels are unimportant; what's important is that it's obviously affecting your day-to-day interaction and long-term plans. You just need to stop worrying about it: once you relax and lose your self-conciousness about your voice everything else will fall into place.

Easier said than done of course!...

 

[Anonymous]

I guess I was right, my problem is beyond help - that I got no replies in this thread probably confirms what I had thought, my problem is too hard to describe and can't be understood by someone unless he/she are themselves experiencing it.. I tried discussing it with my parents but they feel I'm over-reacting and there is no problem at all, spoke to my GP who also didnt have a clue what I was on about ..

My situation is far beyond just social phobia - I'm just destined for isolation and misery.

Thanks for reading at least, if not replying.

 

[Anonymous]

Can you talk to yourself OK? That can help determine if it's a speech disorder (very treatable).

If it *only* happens with others, it MAY be a manifestation of SP (which , incidentally, is also treatable).

You're not beyond help. You're still breathing.

 

[Anonymous]

English is my second language so I have trouble talking as well. But there are lots of people from other parts of the world who speak with funny accents, and they don't stop talking because of this. So you shouldn't give up.

 

[Anonymous]

hmm my story seems sort of similar... i am a high achiever, and im currently doing a law degree, i was always a fairly outgoing person until the last 2 years of highschool and since i have been at university... i told myself it wasnt a big deal because im studying, and if i really want to get places i should make the sacrifice now, and then i will have an easier time later.. but now [im in my 2nd year of a 5 year degree] my grades are getting bad, and when i go to class and questions are asked... i speak like someone with a negative IQ

its ridiculous, i know it is... i was going excellently last year and now its just stupid. i moved to go to uni, havent made any friends, and have one close friend from high school but apart from that ive only got family to talk to...

i know myself to be an articulate person, i wouldnt be doing this degree if i wasnt, but now i get embarrassed just thinking about speaking.. ive got no reason to think these people will think any less of me, but i still think it...

i discovered this site this evening, and i think perhaps the best idea is conselling to see if there is something else like self esteem etc causing it.... i feel like all my study has turned me into a person who now has nothing interesting to say, because i havent done anything but study for 4 years and there is no personality left

not sure if you will relate to this.. but its my bit, goodluck

 

[Anonymous]

I will just add that I also have the very same problem.

That I have finally found someone else on this planet who also shares this problem in strange way has made me feel a little better, in that at least this problem is not unique to me.

My problem is similar in that I also stopped socialising with family and friends for period of two yrs following my divorce which left me in depression, I cut down on all social interaction and just stayed at home and other than a weekly visit to the supermarket and job centre to sign on I hardly came into contact with anyone.

After I have recovered the trauma and depression, I have now been looking for a job in the last 1 and half year and had no luck because like the person in this thread, I too have forgotten how to talk and become very self-conscious.

It is almost like my lips and tongue (speech organs) are no longer synchronised. Talking requires a lot of effort from me and I struggle and get really woried and nervous

Why this happens I dont know. Now I'm stuck real bad , cant get a job because I go to interview and they ask me a question and I cant even speak clear!

I even took speech therapy but that was of no help. How do i explain this, its like the lips and tongue aint moving right and I mispronounce, misarticulate words and end up looking like a fool.

 

[Anonymous]

This is happening to me, and has for a while now...

I had SP... maybe this is one of the remains lol, but it doesn't cause me any anxiety or whatever... just happens, I don't pay attention it... maybe it's part of your growth and gotta live with it?

 

[Orlando]

Hi, Shabir and all!


After a while, any skill can become rusty. Failing once or twice at a skill that you had mastered in the past may hurt your self-confidence.

When I went back to graduate school, I experienced difficulty speaking too...I was toungue-tied. I stammered for the correct words...and I had this weird habit of talking in different accents (Accents that I would encounter on TV like an very bad English, Australian or New York accent. My accents were really bad. They kinda sounded authentic but at the same time did not!)

It was difficult to accept, it is like learning how to walk all over again. It was frustrating and annoying.

It was lucky that I could talk to my family, friends, and therapist about my troubles. It meant so much to me that someone understood me.

 

[Orlando]

Hi, Shabir and all!


After a while, any skill can become rusty. Failing once or twice at a skill that you had mastered in the past may hurt your self-confidence.

When I went back to graduate school, I experienced difficulty speaking too...I was toungue-tied. I stammered for the correct words...and I had this weird habit of talking in different accents (Accents that I would encounter on TV like an very bad English, Australian or New York accent. My accents were really bad. They kinda sounded authentic but at the same time did not!)

It was difficult to accept, it is like learning how to walk all over again. It was frustrating and annoying.

It was lucky that I could talk to my family, friends, and therapist about my troubles. It meant so much to me that someone understood me.

 

[Anonymous]

Okay

Shut the fuck up. You're wasting more time complaining about your "problem" than the amount of time I'm wasting by responding to your "problem."

Sincerely,

TwoWords

P.S. - Whatever nation you're from, I hate. Imbeciles.