Do u get SP or always have it?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I'm a 16 year old high school girl. i'm not even sure if i have sp but i'm very shy and i guess you'd call me anti social more-i'm not too keen about most people.

does anyone know is sp is something you get in your genes or is it more of a sickness you suddenly get? or is it like you are really shy and as time goes by you get shyer?

thanks.

-Diane

 

[Tim77]

I didn't experience full blown SP untill my senior year in highschool, right before I went to college. I'd say that I was a nervous person way before that, but I still felt comfortable with peers and it didn't take long to get comfortable with others. As far as SP being something you inherit, that is certainly a factor, but not always. Even if your predisposed genetically to being nervous around others, you still may not become phobic. Also, I think a lot of people experience SP for the first time in highschool, for obvious reasons (you are "turning into an adult" your body and mind is changing, etc...).

There is the potential for people who are shy to become more shy, but certainly not if you take steps to conquer it (i.e. therapy, meds, homepathic remedies, or whatever road you choose to take).

 

[Anonymous]

To my mind:

1. Social anxiety is not a disease, it is an unproductive and abnormal sensitization.

2. It is not "genetic," although the things that can contribute to it are genetic: an aggressive adrenal system, a racing mind, etc. Many people with these things aren't socially anxious, but rather are very kinetic and excited.

3. Social anxiety is produced by bad social learning. Events that happen in our lives that leave untrue understandings of ourselves and others. The antidote for social anxiety is correcting these misunderstandings by talking to people who love you about bad events in your life as you experience them.

This has several implications:

4. Recovery is possible, but will take deliberate effort. You want to fill your head with beliefs that are true and act out those beliefs that are true. You want to lose sensitivity to things that are meaningless, and become sensitized to things that are meaningful.

5. When you raise your children, you want to do it with a great deal of openness and honesty. Spend time with them, and be receptive to all of their emotional pain. This is how you can keep them from getting the disorder. Don't get divorced.

 

[Tim77]

strange Mr. Dangerous, I haven't had any truly "bad events" in my life. I can't really pinpoint the what it is that brought my SP on. I know I am execessively nervous and I know I have several relatives who are the same.

 

[Anonymous]

My comments were a generalized hypothesis based on my own experiences, but I could be way off the mark.

Tim77, tell me more about your nervousness -- what are the things in particular that you are afraid of (e.g. the gaze of others) or are afraid to do (say something stupid in front of others).

I have always thought that social anxiety was caused by exaggerating the negative consequences of social mistakes -- and usually this cognitive distortion is created by specific experiences leaving a misunderstanding.

But I'm no psychologist!

 

[Tim77]

In general, when I am with people, I fear that I have nothing to talk about. Obessesive thoughts spiral out of control to the point where I actually can't think of anything to talk about.

Of course, I agree that SA is an irrational/exaggerated response to how one percieves social mistakes. However, I just can't relate any traumatic events in the past that may have brought this all about. Anyway, your theory is probably sound as a pound, maybe I need some hypnosis to bring out some repressed memories