I avoid goodbyes with even my friends and family - especially goodbye hugs. I hate the whole goodbye smalltalk, I feel like I never really know what to say, it's always awkward for me unless I can make a quick getaway. I don't know when this started but it's definitely a recent thing. I used to be really affectionate. Even when I leave my best friend's place now, I get all awkward about saying something as simple as "ok, well have a good night...see you soon" It's weird.
Do you avoid goodbyes?
- Thread starter DebbieDowner
- Start date
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
I avoid hello's so I never even make it to the point of goodbye.
ThePunisher
Well-known member
I avoid goodbyes too sometimes cause I sometimes have a fear I won't get a response or that if I say goodbye to one person in a room full of people I feel that I'm being rude by not saying bye to everyone else.
ThePunisher
Well-known member
Sorry to hear that happen mate
But hey it happens to everyone, even non-social phobia people. I've seen it.
But there is one thing that helps me saying goodbye is as long as I get along some of people in the room it gives me that confidence to say goodbye cause I know there's less chance of feeling embarrassed.
Tweak
Member
I hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE goodbyes!
I have no problem if it's one on one, or even a group of maybe 3 or 4 people. Usually I just say "I'm out guys, see ya later" and do a solute or hand wave. My problems are at parties or at family gatherings.
Parties are just a mess, cause there's some people you know and are on a hugs basis with so you hug them, but then there's other people you feel more comfortable shaking hands with so you do that, and then there's like one or two people you just don't know and I have no idea wtf do do there. It's also weird if the one or two people I don't know are leaving and they know everybody else and hug them goodbye and then it gets to me and we just sort of avoid eachother. I would often times just sneak out of a party, get in my car, and take off, figuring nobody would know cause they're all drunk and there's a ton of people there. Then I get calls like "dude are you coming back? Why did you just leave like that" and then everybody things I'm rude. I was known as the sneaker for a while, but I've stopped that now, I just suck it up and get awkward.
Then family gatherings are horrible for me too. When I was little, everyone kissed everyone else goodbye all the time. Then when I was going through my teenage years, I became uncomfortable kissing the guys in my family (my dad, brother, brother-in-law) so I put a stop to that and just gave hugs. I kept up with my nephew cause he was just a child so he might not have understood me and felt neglected. Then my nephew and niece both entered their teenage years and I quit kissing them and converted to hugs cause they would understand and may have felt the same way. These days I only kiss the older ladies in the family and everybody else gets hugs but I still hate the goodbye in general, and I really hate it when somebody brings a date cause then everybody hugs them but I feel really weird about that. I spend the whole gathering sometimes just dreading that one moment at the end.
I have no problem if it's one on one, or even a group of maybe 3 or 4 people. Usually I just say "I'm out guys, see ya later" and do a solute or hand wave. My problems are at parties or at family gatherings.
Parties are just a mess, cause there's some people you know and are on a hugs basis with so you hug them, but then there's other people you feel more comfortable shaking hands with so you do that, and then there's like one or two people you just don't know and I have no idea wtf do do there. It's also weird if the one or two people I don't know are leaving and they know everybody else and hug them goodbye and then it gets to me and we just sort of avoid eachother. I would often times just sneak out of a party, get in my car, and take off, figuring nobody would know cause they're all drunk and there's a ton of people there. Then I get calls like "dude are you coming back? Why did you just leave like that" and then everybody things I'm rude. I was known as the sneaker for a while, but I've stopped that now, I just suck it up and get awkward.
Then family gatherings are horrible for me too. When I was little, everyone kissed everyone else goodbye all the time. Then when I was going through my teenage years, I became uncomfortable kissing the guys in my family (my dad, brother, brother-in-law) so I put a stop to that and just gave hugs. I kept up with my nephew cause he was just a child so he might not have understood me and felt neglected. Then my nephew and niece both entered their teenage years and I quit kissing them and converted to hugs cause they would understand and may have felt the same way. These days I only kiss the older ladies in the family and everybody else gets hugs but I still hate the goodbye in general, and I really hate it when somebody brings a date cause then everybody hugs them but I feel really weird about that. I spend the whole gathering sometimes just dreading that one moment at the end.
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johnny 85
Well-known member
excellent thread debbie. ur after puttin my mind at ease. i thought i was the only person with this silly problem. i really hate good byes. just last sat i was up in my mates house, there was about good few of us there. i was starting to get a bit hungry so i wanted to leave but i found myself still there a half hour later tryin to build the courage to say good bye. lol. the more i thought of it the more nervous i got. i managed to say it in the end and get my ass out of there !! also if im on a night out at the weekend and decide to go home , id never say good bye, id sneak away. my friends are after growing accustom to me doing this. so its kinda a relief !!
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humansrare
Well-known member
I tend to disappear without saying goodbye. People have caught on to this and they think it's funny...I'm glad people think I'm cute and funny for being shy and weird. otherwise I'd feel really bad about what I do to people.
otherwise I'd feel really bad about what I do to people.
Yes I know exactly what you mean! Any kind of warm fuzzy stuff...like greeting family you havent seen in a while , Im always the one that doesnt know whether to shake hands, hug, or kiss on the cheek..so it ends up being awkward, like I kiss them on the ear for example and I completely miss their cheek.lol..and its the same thing with goodbyes, and afterwords I think about the situation over and over afterwords and what I did wrong.
Speaking of not saying goodbye, sorry i just disappeared last night Tempus! lol i feel asleep.
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
i worry about aiming kisses, weird or what? when a family member or friend kisses me on the cheek and i try to return it inevitably gets misplaced, on the nose or the forehead, or the ear. i think i got someone's eye once.
Tempus35
1
, I avoid kisses in the first place, but if this happened to me from you, I would just think it was funny, and no big deal.yeah the whole kisses thing is weird for me too. when i was in france it was a nightmare having to kiss everyone on both cheeks every time i saw them or said goodbye!!
Tempus35
1
yeah the whole kisses thing is weird for me too. when i was in france it was a nightmare having to kiss everyone on both cheeks every time i saw them or said goodbye!!
Ah but at least you have been to France, I havent really left this state I am in, and if I have it isnt for much.
Deerhunter
Well-known member
Haha pretty much the same.