charlieHungerford
Well-known member
I realised that yesterday that I believe everyone other than those I know like me and who I trust, I believe everyone else just looks at me critically and negatively. For instance I believe any woman (unless I friendly and chat to them a lot) I think they all look at me critically, hence me having deep rooted beliefs that no woman could ever be interested in me.
Also people who don't know me all that well, i.e. people in other offices at work who I don't know to chat to but see them about a lot, I think most of those people think negative things of me, like I am odd, ugly, etc.
If I meet a new person I feel they are going to be looking at me critically, like I see I lack confidence and probably critical of how I look.
If I have to do something like public speaking, I feel everyone when looking at me will think critically of me very much for how little confidence I have and think I am odd and probably critical of how I look.
I feel that if I walk past a group of teenage boys or girls that they will look at me critically and shout some abuse at me.
I hate walking past the windows leading into work as I think when people look at me they will be looking at me critically.
Basically I hate being centre of attention because I believe people will always look at me critically.
I never realised I thought like this, that sounds silly I know, but those thoughts only last for as long as I was in a situation. I guess some people are thinking I am paranoid, but its not so much that I am paranoid because I don't feel anyone who knows me could say a bad thing about me, I feel I just have no trust or faith in people because of years of ridicule, constant ridicule, put downs, name calling, laughed at, etc - and I feel that I have got into thinking patterns of believing that people are so horrible, shallow, judgemental, mean, etc. I seem to have this belief of people are guilty until proved innocent - i.e. I believe people are seeing me critically until I realise that they are not and infact that they like me very much as a person. I just am so confident around people I am comfortable around, but am so self conscious around those who don't know me, I just believe they look at me critically.
Like I wrote in another post, if I had to do public speaking in front of 30 plastic dummies I would be so confident and fine. Yet substitute them with 30 people and I am so self conscious, I almost feel like I am the freak show - people are just going to be so critical of me for things like I don't look good, that they will think I am weird for lacking in confidence, I am a nobody.
I wrote down a list of different individual people and groups (new people, women my age) and wrote down what I believe they think of me. And it was all so incredibly negative.
I think this is what I need to overcome in order to beat my SA/confidence issues. I never used to think this way until years of put downs and name calling in my high school and college years. I used to think that nobody on Earth gets more put downs than me. I truely believe this is why I am so 'shy' or self conscious, so anxious around people, as I feel they will always look at me negatively.
Can anyone relate to that? Maybe you don't think people think you are ugly, maybe you feel people just think you are boring or miserable or whatever?
I feel that if I can change the way I think about how people perceive me and get into a mindset like I do about people I am comfortable around - like friends, family, work colleagues I work closely with, etc - then if I don't believe people think critically of me I should overcome my self consciousness and hopefully that will sort out my SA.
Any thoughts?
Also people who don't know me all that well, i.e. people in other offices at work who I don't know to chat to but see them about a lot, I think most of those people think negative things of me, like I am odd, ugly, etc.
If I meet a new person I feel they are going to be looking at me critically, like I see I lack confidence and probably critical of how I look.
If I have to do something like public speaking, I feel everyone when looking at me will think critically of me very much for how little confidence I have and think I am odd and probably critical of how I look.
I feel that if I walk past a group of teenage boys or girls that they will look at me critically and shout some abuse at me.
I hate walking past the windows leading into work as I think when people look at me they will be looking at me critically.
Basically I hate being centre of attention because I believe people will always look at me critically.
I never realised I thought like this, that sounds silly I know, but those thoughts only last for as long as I was in a situation. I guess some people are thinking I am paranoid, but its not so much that I am paranoid because I don't feel anyone who knows me could say a bad thing about me, I feel I just have no trust or faith in people because of years of ridicule, constant ridicule, put downs, name calling, laughed at, etc - and I feel that I have got into thinking patterns of believing that people are so horrible, shallow, judgemental, mean, etc. I seem to have this belief of people are guilty until proved innocent - i.e. I believe people are seeing me critically until I realise that they are not and infact that they like me very much as a person. I just am so confident around people I am comfortable around, but am so self conscious around those who don't know me, I just believe they look at me critically.
Like I wrote in another post, if I had to do public speaking in front of 30 plastic dummies I would be so confident and fine. Yet substitute them with 30 people and I am so self conscious, I almost feel like I am the freak show - people are just going to be so critical of me for things like I don't look good, that they will think I am weird for lacking in confidence, I am a nobody.
I wrote down a list of different individual people and groups (new people, women my age) and wrote down what I believe they think of me. And it was all so incredibly negative.
I think this is what I need to overcome in order to beat my SA/confidence issues. I never used to think this way until years of put downs and name calling in my high school and college years. I used to think that nobody on Earth gets more put downs than me. I truely believe this is why I am so 'shy' or self conscious, so anxious around people, as I feel they will always look at me negatively.
Can anyone relate to that? Maybe you don't think people think you are ugly, maybe you feel people just think you are boring or miserable or whatever?
I feel that if I can change the way I think about how people perceive me and get into a mindset like I do about people I am comfortable around - like friends, family, work colleagues I work closely with, etc - then if I don't believe people think critically of me I should overcome my self consciousness and hopefully that will sort out my SA.
Any thoughts?