Do you guys get SOOO angry with yourself when you waste time

newguy1985

newguy1985

Member
I have PURE OCD and alot of times, thoughts get into my head during a workout (my ocd cure). Sometimes It gets so intense that I have to stop what im doing, go home, and automatically feel better becuase the stress of pushing the ritualizatons aside and enjoying the workout isnt there anymore and that I had time to back off and do my ritualizations.

But this leaves me angry as hell becuase I wasted what could've been a good workout and alot of times, when I have free time on the weekend and I want to sit back and enjoy the day, I cant. I ritualize, obsess, or at best, feel uneasy and cant really be "happy". Hours would go by and i would've done nothing to really enjoy an active life (go for a run, lift, read, study, watch a movie).

And then I would get even MORE pissed off / depressed when I obsess over the # of days/times this has happened. For example, Friday/ Saturday really sucked this week and so has the Friday/Saturday last week. I just feel like crap for wasting life. And its werid how i have thees "perfectionist" attitudes. Its 6pm and i've wasted the entire day and because of that, i dont have the motivation to try and enjoy the rest of the day. I just want to get it over with so I can start all over on sunday and hopefully have everyhting go "perfect".
 
marrguitar

marrguitar

Member
i know what you mean and i can relate. however, i have overcome my ocd to a large extent and i don't really loose time because of it anymore. for me, though, i have to plan whatever im going to do in a day and after i do it i have to anylze it and make sure i feel good with what i did. i've gotten to the point now where i can get through these ocd thoughts while im doing something else without even stopping. then because of these rituals im always trying to make sure i never waste time and that everything goes "perfect", like you said. so i think i experience a similiar but less intense version of what you described and i believe that these thoughts/rituals that you have can be conquered or at least be made so that they fit into your lifestyle instead of getting in the way. just keep going and dont let the ocd suck your life away...
 
newguy1985

newguy1985

Member
marrguitar said:
i know what you mean and i can relate. however, i have overcome my ocd to a large extent and i don't really loose time because of it anymore. for me, though, i have to plan whatever im going to do in a day and after i do it i have to anylze it and make sure i feel good with what i did. i've gotten to the point now where i can get through these ocd thoughts while im doing something else without even stopping. then because of these rituals im always trying to make sure i never waste time and that everything goes "perfect", like you said. so i think i experience a similiar but less intense version of what you described and i believe that these thoughts/rituals that you have can be conquered or at least be made so that they fit into your lifestyle instead of getting in the way. just keep going and dont let the ocd suck your life away...
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THanks for the support. I have my good days and then I have days where I HAVE to think about it until it is perfect. It sounds so stupid but the desire to think is sooo strong. I do techniques my therapist taught me but as you might know, its not linear progress. Gave up the meds though, too much sexual sides. Are you taking anything ?
 
marrguitar

marrguitar

Member
Are you taking anything ?
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no, i've never been prescribed any medication, so i wouldn't know anything about that. i kind of just dealt with my ocd without any help, mainly because i never actually told anyone that i had ocd.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
I have wasted my time entirely since 2001. The guilt is terrible, and depression was inevitable. I think it is natural to feel depressed and anxious when you waste your time doing nothing. We need goals, we need life values to pursue, don't we?
 
B

bulent

Active member
I have wasted 15 years and seems to me i'll be wasting for years and years more. Earlier this decade i was thinking like " i could do great things to get a better life,but its been 6-7 years that i have this illness and it's too late now". Now i think like "i was younger early this decade and had a chance to start a new life but its too late coz this lonely life has become my lifestyle after long years and i can't change it". I'm 30 and i'm pretty sure,5 years later i will be saying to myself "how i wish it was 5 years ago but its too late now"... I'm this stupid and i think i deserve this kind of a life...
 
goodguys9

goodguys9

Member
Yes, I've wasted alot of time over the past few yearsnot enjoying things because I was being plagued by intrusive thoughts.
 
mre33

mre33

New member
This is kinda bizarre that I even saw this thread tonight, I've been obsessing pretty badly tonight about the way I spent my day. I basically did not get anything done that I wanted to and because of it I'm miserable, but that is basically every day for me. If I don't accomplish atleast several things off of my checklist that I obsessively carry with me everywhere it is a bad day. Even if I manage to actually get something done I still find something else to obsess about. It never ends and I hate it. Good thing I posted about this though so everyone else can read this and say oh yea i have the same problem but that doesn't help me at all. We're all idiots for lookin on this stupid website for answers to our problems. We're definitely not going to find it on the internet for christ sake. Truth is no one can help us.
 
goat

goat

Member
bulent said:
I have wasted 15 years and seems to me i'll be wasting for years and years more. Earlier this decade i was thinking like " i could do great things to get a better life,but its been 6-7 years that i have this illness and it's too late now". Now i think like "i was younger early this decade and had a chance to start a new life but its too late coz this lonely life has become my lifestyle after long years and i can't change it". I'm 30 and i'm pretty sure,5 years later i will be saying to myself "how i wish it was 5 years ago but its too late now"... I'm this stupid and i think i deserve this kind of a life...
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I'm 36 now and I can agree with you that so much time gets wasted in rituals and obsessions...I don't think people like us enjoy life very much which is very unfortunate....I always think I can start over now but when I look back at all the time I've wasted I get a bit depressed. I don't think anyone deserves this kind of a life but who ever gets what they deserve? :)
 
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