Do You Make excuses?

[StealThis]

I always find myself making excuses for my social anxiety.. If someone where to ask me to got to a party or something and I knew that I was gonna have to meet new people, I would say that I didn't feel like it or I'm tired, I busy, blah blah blah. I do it with everything.. I will go to extremes to avoid some situations.

 

[Richey]

Just remember that its a free country, however realise that if you want to go then you are stopping yourself from a great time. If you honestly don't want to go somewhere then say so. The hardest part is knowing that you feel like youve let the person down who has invited you wherever.

Also remember that you can chose the people you go out withm you dont have to be stuck with a group of friends just because you hung around with them at high school. I have found that people i knew in high school, i dont particularly want to hang out with them because we grew apart over time and i don't like their style of turning up at my house and demanding i go somewhere with them, they do it to me all the time. Im busy working and they come over and give me the guilt trip for saying no, and judge me in harsh ways.

I have some new friends who respect if i say no and just leave it, they dont apply pressure on my or try to inflict guilt upon me. these people i get along with better because there is an element of respect. I feel like i need to discard my high old school friends but i dont know how to approach the situation, i am to weak to just go up to them and say "I dont want to see you guys anymore".

I feel anxious all the time because they turn up to my house and dont ask me, they just say "Right, we're going to this club, your coming, its all planned out". Jesus, if your going to invite me then ask me, dont tell me, i hate that.

 

[StealThis]

What it really is, is that I'm avoiding situations that will give me anxiety. Its not that i don't want to go its just that I know if i go i'm gonna be anxious the whole time.

 

[DemonDayz]

I do this to... I'm sure it's something normal for people with SA... just have to overcome it I guess.

 

[Septor]

Me to just one of those things that a lot of people do.

 

[longlivesolitude]

I often doubt whether I should go or not too. Mostly because I'm afraid if there is enough people there I know and if I'll just end up sitting alone. I often end up going though and it's usual fine and I enjoy myself. A couple years ago I would never enjoy going to a party... I would just sit saying nothing and feeling like an idiot. Feels good being drunk

 

[allanboy]

tell them the absolute truth. be astonished by their answer.

 

[arlequin]

It's the same for me. But I do it less and less (though it's not easy) cause otherwise there will be a time when people will get tired of asking us to do things and getting excuses and one day you'll realise no one will ask and you'll regreat it.

 

[4myself]

On the bright side, if they are inviting you somewhere in the first place then they must want you to go. They wouldnt ask if they didnt want you there.

 

[scatmantom]

I used to always do this. My school friends got tired of inviting me places cos of my lies and excuses to get out of going. I didnt understand what was wrong with me and i was too embarrased to say that i will come but i might have to leave early or i might get sick!

Now i dont lie, i just tell people i dont want to go, if they ask why ill tell them about my anxiety,

 

[StealThis]

I also make excuses with job interviews or applying for jobs and other situations that are stressful for me. Its kind of silly because 99% of the time the excuses don't even make sense hah.