Does this appear to be a form of OCD?

[Lamb]

Hello all.

I'm not looking for a diagnosis, just some insight. I'll be seeing a therapist shortly. I'd never considered the possibility of OCD before, though I find my anxious thoughts loop over and over again in daily life. Aside from that I have a particular habit I partake in.

I pluck facial and body hair twice, if not three times a day. I was bullied over it for many, many years. I know that many people deal with hair. I have to do it before heading outside. That includes prior to going out for a run. I do it before bedtime. If I don't pluck, I can't go outside. It's certainly not imagined though. If left alone it makes me feel hideous and gross. Sometimes I'm dressed, ready to head out, and I catch a glimpse of a hair in a mirror. Only it's embedded, so I try to grasp it until I make that spot of skin raw. Then I give up and don't go out. Makes me very self-conscious.

Another thing that's occurred more recently is not being able to tie my hair up into a ponytail or bun when heading outside. My hair covers my face when it's loose. If I tie it back I fear people will stare and make fun of me. This has prevented me from participating in alot of activities that have to do with exposing some skin. I look in mirrors out of habit to make sure I look "ok". Sometimes I catch myself doing it without realizing it. If someone is having a conversation with me and looking at my face instead of holding eye contact I grow increasingly anxious over it, which leads to heightened anxiety.

What do you guys think?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

It appears that you suffer from a form of OCD called Trichotillomania. Here's a couple of youtube videos. (there's a lot more). Please check them out. What you're going through is tough but you can beat it!...I wish I had some insight into the disorder but sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to OCD. Just a destructive form of anxiety.

I love her videos! She has beat the disease!
Trichotillomania Improvement!!! Tips to stop pulling. - YouTube

Another sufferer. Her videos are always spastic but funny.
TRICHOTILLOMANIA - YouTube

 

[jaim38]

Another thing that's occurred more recently is not being able to tie my hair up into a ponytail or bun when heading outside. My hair covers my face when it's loose. If I tie it back I fear people will stare and make fun of me. This has prevented me from participating in alot of activities that have to do with exposing some skin. I look in mirrors out of habit to make sure I look "ok". Sometimes I catch myself doing it without realizing it. If someone is having a conversation with me and looking at my face instead of holding eye contact I grow increasingly anxious over it, which leads to heightened anxiety.

I used to have a similar problem. Girls tend to cover their faces and ears with their hair because they want to look skinnier and prettier. I used to do this all the time, and I rarely go out with ponytails. But now I got over my fear. I don't cover my face with my hair anymore. I don't care if I look fatter. The hair irritates my face and makes me develop pimples.

 

[Lamb]

It appears that you suffer from a form of OCD called Trichotillomania. Here's a couple of youtube videos. (there's a lot more). Please check them out. What you're going through is tough but you can beat it!...I wish I had some insight into the disorder but sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to OCD. Just a destructive form of anxiety.

Do I really fit into this category though?
It's hair that most females would take care of, meaning facial hair and body hair. I'm not pulling out the hair on my head or eyelashes. What I'm not comfortable with is the amount of anxiety it brings me, not that I do it. However, if what a therapist is going to suggest is to let it grow, then I'm not for that at all. I'd like to desensitize the attachment I have to it which is connected with my self worth. There are too many emotions tied to the fear of being made fun of. If I don't take care of it, I feel very masculine and that's what I fear. Caused me gender issues when I was younger. Ah, and ultimately being able to tie my hair back again.

 

[jaim38]

Is it possible that you have too much hair and feel a bit hairy? I am the opposite, not having lots of hair. But my friend has massive amounts of hair and people used to comment on it. After she got a trim from the barber's, she looked better. You might want to consider going to a barber's and having a skilled stylist trim your hair. Maybe tell the professional stylist about this problem and she will have tips and recommendations for you.

 

[Lamb]

Is it possible that you have too much hair and feel a bit hairy? I am the opposite, not having lots of hair. But my friend has massive amounts of hair and people used to comment on it. After she got a trim from the barber's, she looked better. You might want to consider going to a barber's and having a skilled stylist trim your hair. Maybe tell the professional stylist about this problem and she will have tips and recommendations for you.

I feel very hairy, and it definitely subtracts from feeling feminine in my mind. I can take care of it for the most part, but in order to keep it that way it's a daily routine. I've gone to doctors to test out my thyroid, and do blood work believing it's a health issue. So far evidence points to genetics and nothing else. I don't want to care about it as much anymore because it's draining. Though, with todays society and gender roles, I kind of have to take care of it if I want to be seen as "normal". My confidence is destroyed though. Feeling feminine equates to how much hair I can rid of.

 

[dottie]

yeah, if i don't shave my legs. if i can feel growth (ugh, just the word!) it makes me anxious and compelled to pluck the hairs out of my legs one by one with tweezers. it drives me crazy that they are in there, in my skin, and it feels like a release to get them out. i cannot stand the feeling... it's like having a splinter... something you do not want under your skin except not physically painful. it's just gross in there and you become consumed with getting it out ASAP. so, i shave every day. are you a girl? maybe you can get electrolysis.

 

[dottie]

I want to be seen as "normal".

i don't think this is OCD, then. OCD is more about control.

in my case, ripping the hairs out is not about adapting or fitting in with peers. it doesn't matter if anyone sees, i just have to get the hairs out... kind of neurotic. i lose sense of time and become engrossed in it.

in your case, getting the hairs out seems motivated by deep insecurity and a drive to fit in.

even though you may be thorough or a little methodical, because of your motivation, i don't think this is OCD.

 

[Lamb]

i don't think this is OCD, then. OCD is more about control.

in my case, ripping the hairs out is not about adapting or fitting in with peers. it doesn't matter if anyone sees, i just have to get the hairs out... kind of neurotic. i lose sense of time and become engrossed in it.

in your case, getting the hairs out seems motivated by deep insecurity and a drive to fit in.

even though you may be thorough or a little methodical, because of your motivation, i don't think this is OCD.

Ah, I see what you mean. If I could leave them there I certainly would, it's so much work. But since it's gross to me I "have" to get rid of them. I do still feel a "need". Hmmm, so not BDD either?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Ah, I see what you mean. If I could leave them there I certainly would, it's so much work. But since it's gross to me I "have" to get rid of them. I do still feel a "need". Hmmm, so not BDD either?

Now that you explain it in terms of femininity, it does have a BDD tone to it. I don't see anything wrong with hair on a women's arms. But, you probably see yourself as Sasquatch.
Also some ethnicities seem to have more hair than others. i.e Italian/ mixed women. I remember in college there was this girl with beautiful thick eyebrows. She was very exotic and beautiful looking. But, she would sometimes get a little fuzz above her lips.
I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Most of the people on this forum seem to be unhappy with their appearance in one form or another. Part of having SA. We're too preoccupied on trying to figure out what others are thinking!