Does this equal bullying behaviour?

[cobalt_bluester]

Hello. Someone at my workplace seem to make little or no effort to speak to me, but will freely speak to three of my other colleagues. I find this upsetting because I have tried hard to win this person over, but I don't think that's ever likely now.

Do you think that ignoring or failing to speak to a person when they are in close proximity to you (on a regular basis) constitutes bullying? I would be interested to hear your comments. Thanks.

 

[CK23]

I dont really think so and i can relate to you... I really like one of my seniors in the place i go to work... She was very njce to me when i first joined and didnt know a damn thing about the work but now that i know the ropes she's kind of backed off...she hardly ever communicates and she talks a lot with another one of my seniors who also happens to be my manager...i've been hurt by this cos i feel like it's my SA that made her dump me like everyone else but when i put myself in her shoes i realise she's just taking some time off and she doesnt hate me... If you relate this to bullying it wont be fair cos a bully is someone who destroys your confidence while she on the other hand erected me from my pathetic spineless position...

 

[AaronAgassi]

Shunning can be unnerving in it's ambiguity.

 

[Drew]

About five years ago, I left a good paying corporate job for that exact reason. In my case there was more than one person that intentionally excluded me from normal coworker fraternization. They went out of their way to exclude me from everything at work and also any after work activities (a drink after work).

Unfortunately, the rest of my coworkers let themselves be led by a few people and I was powerless to do anything about it.

I wouldn't consider it bullying however. It does have similarities, but it would be hard to prove that you've been intentionally targeted by someone unless you were being threatened, intimidated, or physically assaulted.

 

[Psychedelicious]

That sounds really annoying and kind of cold. I would not not consider it bullying, However. Do they just flat out ignore you when you ask them something?

 

[AaronAgassi]

Perhaps you folks might do well to research and consider the relationship between shunning and any more overt bullying.

 

[striker]

I joined this company 6 months ago & at the end of 6 months I had enough. previously I ad learnt the hard way that when my body tells me that its really stressful then its time to bail.

I was treated the exact same way. But by about half a dozen people. This was done by a guy whose work I was supposed to take over. I think he felt that I was stepping on his territory. He spread rumors about me.
Due to my SAD I was handicapped to deal with it and he masterfully used it to his advantage. But I believe that he was unfair and things will eventually catch up to him. God is great.

You cannot do much other than ignore him.

If I were normal (ie., not SAD) then I would do this. People get their power socially. So win people at your workplace by offering more value than this guy. This value should offered in a way that indicates that you don't expect anything from them, that you are a giving person.
Next, you need to become a leader or one of the leaders of the peer group you hang out with.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

That sounds really annoying and kind of cold. I would not not consider it bullying, However. Do they just flat out ignore you when you ask them something?

Hi Psychedelicious. They can sometimes flat out ignore me but I don't know if this is intentional or not. I find it upsetting as I don't like people to think of my as 'odd' or 'wierd' and suchlike.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

That sounds really annoying and kind of cold. I would not not consider it bullying, However. Do they just flat out ignore you when you ask them something?

Sometimes they seem to totally ignore me, but that really reflects badly on them and I must keep reminding myself of that point and not try blaming myself for their bad behaviour.

 

[Argamemnon]

Sometimes they seem to totally ignore me, but that really reflects badly on them and I must keep reminding myself of that point and not try blaming myself for their bad behaviour.

I also think people ignore me, but maybe our perception is wrong. Perhaps we are giving signals that we feel worried and anxious, and they just don't want to bother us? But that doesn't make it any less painful for us, does it!

 

[AaronAgassi]

First spook the target, then when the target gradually acquires a haunted look, that in turn is exploited in order to portray the target as somewhat disreputable.

 

[Jayce]

There are overt forms of bullying, and covert forms. Exclusion is a covert bullying tactic. It is often accompanied by deliberate and subtle manipulation of other people's perceptions of the target, so that they gradually come to view the target in a negative light.