Don't know how I will make it through the summer

[dannyboy65]

I work every summer, that's not the problem I don't mind working one bit. The problem is that I need to move from home to a campground so I can walk to work. I've been doing it for 6 years and the campground every years makes me have a mental breakdown.

I hate the place, I never want to go there and I stay there for 3 months and never leave the damn place. I feel trapped there. Just thinking about the ****ing place is making me worried. I don't know why that place is so hard for me to go too. I can't go, I don't want to go anymore. But I'm forced every year by my mom to go and she doesn't care. She knows the place messes with my mental illness yet she doesn't ****ing care.

Every year for the last 6 years I've had a mental breakdown at that ****ing place and she still thinks that this place is good for me cause of a work experience. I think my mental health should come before a work experience. The stuff I'm doing now I love and I don't mind. I don't mind the job I have during the summer. It's that I have to live in a trailer for 3 months with my family in it. When I can barely tolerate sitting in the same room or vehicle with them. Just being in their presence stresses me out, and I'm put in a trailer with no privacy or space from my family.

Then there is the never leaving the campground because a lack of a vehicle. There is also the lack of social things happening as my co workers never talk to me and I never have friends down there to visit.

I'm just really scared of going back, because I've noticed my mental health has been declining the past few months and I go to the campground this month I don't know if I can do another summer...

 

[Louco]

Have you told your mother about how bad for your mental health the trip is?

Also, how old are you? Your parents can't force you to suffer a breakdown from a mental disorder. If I were you, I would try to explain the situation again and again until she understands or give up trying to force you, and if she don't, maybe it's time you just tell her you are not going instead of asking. What is she going to do, drag you around in chains? You must make her understand this is serious one way or another.

 

[dannyboy65]

I'm 20 which makes it ridiculous. But I live with my parents still and can't get a drive to town everyday because I live out in the country where there is nothing so the closest town is 30 minutes away. So I have to move into this campground for the summer so I can just walk to work.

I do try to explain to her and she just calls me lazy or trying to get away from work. Hell I almost killed myself and she made me go to work the next day.

 

[grapevine]

What about just getting up really early and walking to work? I used to walk an hour to get to the college I was studying at for years. It actually helped with my anxiety doing that every morning.

 

[PugofCrydee]

I feel for you man, truly I do.
That would suck. You're craving privacy but you are being forced into a situation where you have none.
In my humble opinion, you need to become independent. How? I'm not sure as I don't know much about your situation. But you certainly need to gain your independence.

Maybe make a pact with yourself that this will be the last year this happens. Save money, get another job.. I don't know. But do whatever it takes to change things for the better.

It'll be tough. But if you want it badly enough you can make it happen.

 

[johan]

I'm sorry for you. I have had similar experiences with the difference that I have not dared to say how it is.
maybe you can pitch a tent. so you get your privacy?
or stay in the city in any way?

hope it will works out well