Don't know if it's an ocd, but it's destroying my life

otter

otter

Member
I'm not sure if this is an ocd, but there are correlations. Since I was a child I have been unable to deal with repetitive noise and movements. I also can't handle background noise such as people talking or music. I often wear earplugs or stick my fingers in my ears, or I leave, and sometimes I tell people to stop. If someone is jiggling their leg then I cover my line of vision with my hand or I change location.

The reason I think this is an ocd is because I block my ears and eyes even when there is nothing happening. I know I must look mad but at the same time I don't care. It calms me down. My boyfriend clears his throat all the time and I whine every time even though I know he can't stop, and it damages our relationship. If someone is sniffing in a lecture then I can't focus at all. I boil up and my ears itch.

This is a huge problem for me as it makes me feel suicidal, and also I've quit jobs and courses because of it, and have tainted and ruined many relationships. People think it's funny at first but then it freaks them out.

I also have other very mild signs of ocd such as skin picking, scalp scratching and other hard-to-explain compulsions.

I need help but I can't afford CBT and I hate medication. If I know what's wrong then I may be able to help myself.

I'm desperate.
 
FreedomFighter

FreedomFighter

Well-known member
hi otter and welcome , just wanted to let you know that you can use the search button and put in keywords relating to your issues and you will get some great advice , also , it sounds like you pretty much have ocd , good luck , Robbie
 
KeepItPoetic

KeepItPoetic

Member
it sounds like u have some kind of anxious panic disorder or could be ocd but ocd is really about repetitive actions....i do also feel i have ocd and things like that do bother me but not as extreme as u say...i will always notice when someone is tapping or shaking and get obessed with it until it stops but this seems like its really disrupting ur life and maybe u should go to some form of behavioral therapy which doesnt cost as much as a psych session...also alot of insurances cover things like that u should call ur company to check and see....hope it workks out
 
otter

otter

Member
thank you so much. It's nice to have some advise! No one really understands, they just think I'm a bitch.
 
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