Don't try to develop social skills, anyone watch this video?

[Mokkat]

Did anyone watch this video? I think it is brilliant and very logical - and I wouldn't have had the insight to think of this myself.

Its about not trying to develop better social skills, because it hinders you, and instead focus on other areas.
I think it is great advice, and while watching I suddenly realized how great I am at listening to people, being polite, joking around with people I know, etc


YouTube - Social Anxiety: 1/3 Why improving social skills is not the answer

YouTube - Social Anxiety: 2/3 Why improving social skills is not the answer

YouTube - Social Anxiety: 3/3 Why improving social skills is not the answer

 

[ShyChild]

Thinking about what I'm doing right/wrong definitely makes the anxiety worse. I like what he said about how the most confident person can have the worst social skills. Thanks for posting this!

 

[Felgen]

Actually, if you fall somewhere on the higher functioning end of the autistic spectrum (hint: A LOT of the more severe cases of social anxiety do), learning social skills is essential.

 

[dottie]

CLIFFNOTES VERSION: skip to the third video if you are familiar with SA symptoms and just want to get to the point. and his point is really only this: build confidence before concerning yourself with social skills. how? don't be afraid to make mistakes. accept that you will make mistakes. other than that he doesn't much elaborate on the solution.

this guy's a good speaker. i could never fill 30 minutes talking like that.

 

[Luke1993]

What a cool guy! I like the idea of the support groups he runs and mentions, wish I could go to one of those I think they would really help me.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

I liked this video. It was very helpful.

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

CLIFFNOTES VERSION: skip to the third video if you are familiar with SA symptoms and just want to get to the point. and his point is really only this: build confidence before concerning yourself with social skills. how? don't be afraid to make mistakes. accept that you will make mistakes. other than that he doesn't much elaborate on the solution.

this guy's a good speaker. i could never fill 30 minutes talking like that.

Yeah that's what I got from it.
I liked the guy, he was a good speaker and explained to me my problems, but the moral of the story is pretty much simply confidence. Gain confidence, stop feeling depressed, and you're good to go.
If only it was that easy.

He did make me feel better though. And I do wish I had a community to go to. I don't doubt a social anxiety forum in person would help a lot.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Watch some of his other videos, long but I like him and good content and experience. Thanks for posting.

 

[fitftw]

I compensate for my social phobia by having a flashy car, and he's right, it really doesn't help at all. I still have no friends, I still don't make people laugh, I have no personality.

Damn, I hate myself.

 

[mictsekk]

good stuff, gave me something to think about

 

[HeadFace]

I compensate for my social phobia by having a flashy car, and he's right, it really doesn't help at all. I still have no friends, I still don't make people laugh, I have no personality.

Damn, I hate myself.

Yeah, that part really got to me. I tried getting people to like me more by upping my appearence. But nothing changed. I guess I look "nicer" now but I'm still lonely and depressed and shy.
I don't know about the social skills thing. Sometimes it's just hard for me to make conversation in general. He's got me thinking a lot more

 

[R3K]

yeah i like his take on the whole "social skills" concept.... i've always thought that term was so cliche and overused (even in comedy). Like, what is social skill technically anyway? i agree with this guy mostly, and i think the way most of us approach the problem of social phobia is kinda flawed, like he was sayin. but, we can't really be blamed, since this is like one of the most complicated and difficult ailments imaginable (i think). social phobia... no standard solution, good luck have fun being a loser for your entire child and adulthood (yay).