I really don't think this is a stupid topic at all, and I've been wanting to add my 2 cents but I've been avioding it because the LAST thing I want to do is discourage anyone---BUT--- finding someone who truely loves you unconditionally IS wonderful-- so don't ever give up looking for that special person.. but keep in mind, if they aren't the right person, a relationship can be damaging to us as well as to them.
Sometimes when we want something desperately, we fail to see the downsides of it, for instance, if we see a car we could just die for, we think about the car individually, we don't think about the gasoline expense, the costly insurance, the upkeep...
It's the same with desiring companionship... there can be a downside as well. I needed to break an engaement about 2 years ago because my mate could not comprehend what my disorders were 'all about' or how they made me feel, despite many attempts to educate him. I finally agreed to go to his 'family reunion' picnic with him not wanting to disappoint him after a lot of pleading and begging. I won't bore you with the details, but it was one of the worst experiences of my entire life, and it caused me to have an extreme setback in some progress I had made, or, at least I THOUGHT I had made.
I disappointed him so many times by not wanting to go into resturants, movies, or with him to his boss's home for dinner & no matter how I tried to explain myself, he just couldn't comprehend. I realiazed that I could never keep life long commintment to him, and I couldn't bear disappointing him over & over again.
So, like Wistful_dementia suggests, & I totally agree with:
((But I think us socialphobes need to learn how to balance loving ourselve with avoiding dwelling on our problems too much. That isn't to say that we shouldn't go force ourselves to do social things that we are afraid of though. Back off and relax sometimes when things become too much, never give up, and then get back up and work at ridding yourself of SA.
Yeah, and learn how to accept yourself unconditionally. (speaking for myself also) once we make progress we will find someone real out there.))
Well Said Wistful!