cabbagehead said:
2Crowded said:
Just wonderin'..... alot of the time I dont.....even though I pretty much know i am deep down.... think i mainly manage to disguise it from others as well as myself most days.
Anyone else?
if you stayed away from that fuckin ugly bitch you would feel a lot better.
I don't know either of you, but this seems rather mean.
what do you care who he spends his time with?
As for feeling like a loser, i always feel like i'm not good enough... But i've spent so many years being over productive that it was easy enough to hide (rather when i told people i had issues, they didn't believe it because i was so functional)
These days, hiding really isn't an option. Then again, i've widdled my entire social network pretty much exculsivly down to my closest of friends and family that doesn't make me want to die when i think of them. They all know my struggle to some degree... a select one in full degree.
Everytime i walk out of my house i feel like there is a big L tattooed to the front of my head and that everyone is pointing and laughing at it.
take for instance right now... I really need to go to the store, cash this check that i FINALLY recieved, and then head downtown to the mall the maybe pay my cell phone bill and do the little amount of christmas shopping that i'm going to do (which is sooooo not much)... but i spent the morning being inundated with phonecalls from people i actualy answer the phone for, and filling out paperwork for MediCal... completely overwhelmed, the idea of leaving the house right now has broken me down to tears.
such fact makes me feel like a shmuck.
i feel stupid for feeling the way i feel, yet totally support everyone else in whatever their issues. I don't know why i'm so hard on myself, but i am.
I don't think any of you are losers... or anything bad.
Just me.