Excessive Reaction Monitoring

[randomguy19]

One of the problems that I've noticed with myself is that I tend to monitor others reactions to what I have said/done. In addition, I monitor my own self. When I tense up, and project nervous body language, and my mind goes blank when asked for an opinion are things that I notice while in the interaction. After the conversation, I feel disappointed with myself, and feel mentally exhausted. I'm a college student, and my lack of social skills/negative body language are truly showing to others and to myself. Can anybody else relate, either it be at school, work, or just a casual conversation?

 

[MothMan]

I do the exact same as well. I think it just comes off as lack of confidence. I know for me its mostly hesitance in my actions and i end up stumbling over my words when i do speak up.

 

[Aiyieeeee]

Do it all the time. Social situations can haunt me for days because I'm over analyzing what happened, what I did, what I said, what other's said, how they reacted, how I perceive their reactions, what I'm assuming they thought.

It gets bad. It's a common/classic symptom.

 

[tired_of_starting_again]

Yes. Especially if I say something that I think is witty or makes a good point & they don't look that impressed I get anxious & embaressed.

 

[randomguy19]

Yes! I can relate! Thank you so much for providing us with an actual term to describe this behavior! Now I can explain myself better to my therapist. As soon as I read your post, I realized that I do this as well. I did it just yesterday when I went job searching. I wonder if people see this and how they percieve me? Maybe I make people uncomfortable? Thanks again! You've been of great help!

PLEASE share what your therapist says!

 

[Hellhound]

I do that too, but not during a social situation, but afterwards... I start thinking if i should/shouldn't have said something, or if what i said was ok or they think i'm an idiot, etc. I can get very paranoid over this... thinking that others will dislike me or laugh at me.

 

[paintedblue]

Do it all the time. Social situations can haunt me for days because I'm over analyzing what happened, what I did, what I said, what other's said, how they reacted, how I perceive their reactions, what I'm assuming they thought.

It gets bad. It's a common/classic symptom.

Exactly me. I over-analyze the minutiae of any social interaction, and end up making what are probably unnecessary assumptions about what happened, mostly negative.

 

[sullyS1985]

I do this all the time as well. I dont just do it with people i dont know well either. I do it with my mother, step dad, dad, other close relatives as well as life long friends. I usually do it after the conversation or contact and end up beating myself up for it like telling myself how much of an idiot I am or how stupid i sounded. In the case of girls i really like i usually come to the conclusion that they are thinking i did something that makes me a creeper, bad person, or perhaps a stalker and it contributes to my anxiety the next time i see them.

 

[chained]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! didn't know the professional term...

 

[randomguy19]

i do this all the time as well. I dont just do it with people i dont know well either. I do it with my mother, step dad, dad, other close relatives as well as life long friends. I usually do it after the conversation or contact and end up beating myself up for it like telling myself how much of an idiot i am or how stupid i sounded. In the case of girls i really like i usually come to the conclusion that they are thinking i did something that makes me a creeper, bad person, or perhaps a stalker and it contributes to my anxiety the next time i see them.

agreeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dooby-duck]

Yes . I do this all of the time. I analyse what is happening as it goes on, then over analyse afterwards. Sometimes this process goes on for days or weeks. I'll make the conversation or whatever happen in my head and kind of re-hash it to make it better. I'll decide what I could have or should have said then guess at the other persons response. It's not just conversations though but all kinds of things, like my driving or when I've walked past someone. I'll decide what someone thought of me and how I came accross to them.

 

[Honda]

I get obessed with matters that normal people find as minor or insignificat but it just eats my head and energy like crazy... and affects my judgment and behavior..

It was more of a nightmare for me before... and i still do it but way less than before... Ruined alot of life opportunities for me wether is job, education or girls... I fear the way people judge, talk, react, look at me. & i get obsessed with my appearance, reactions, etc.. I still got this but now its reduced alot, im being myself more.. I interpret some people's reactions as offending somehow but that person never meant it that way... As if im obsessed with the fact that people intent to offend me...

 

[divethruhaze]

Edited post
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[randomguy19]

I'm amazed on how similar your stories are to what I experience :]

 

[Honda]

Its a bad habit that is hard to get rid of... Just a matter of time and paitence... Occupy your life with stuff... Get a girl, do an activity to divert this obsession and by time it will vaporize... For me im working and i barely have time to do stuff..

 

[Honda]

I got over it but still i panic in certain situations... Sometimes i take a couple of drinks an off i go...

 

[Satyricon]

For me it's like a paradox. During conversation, I usually do something retarded (unconsciously), and the person that I'm talking to reacts to that, reflecting back at me. Which makes me more scared, uncomforatable. Resulting in me behaving even more retarded and confused. Then, I start to analyze what happened (which can last for days, if not years). During my analysis, things get more complicated sinse I can only judge situation from my always subjective point of view. At the end I usually solve it on the philosophical basis, but still get uncontrollable emotional reaction when I recount about past encounters.