Feeling left out...
- Thread starter Anonymous
- Start date
racheH
Well-known member
Hi Chad 
I doubt you are those things. I used to think that I was the things you just described, but eventually I worked out that the way I dealt with my fears and insecurities was to hide my real personality. I used to suppress any urge to start a conversation or contribute to one unless I was sure it wouldn't be ridiculed. At home I was a completely different person, but around new people I used no facial expressions, tonality expressions, or even change of posture, I walked around like a soldier all the time :roll:
Sometimes I'd even make myself deliberately seem stranger to other people so that they would reject me for reasons I was in control of, and so it wouldn't be dragged out for so long with me terrified of when it would happen. But none of it was my personality, because the irrational part of the brain isn't where your personality is. It just happens that irrationality can overide personality if that's what your brain thinks will help you survive. Your brain is wrong sometimes!
The fact that you yourself find the way you're behaving boring and wimpy probably means that there is another way you'd rather behave, and the way you want to behave is your personality. The way you're scared not to behave is just a defence mechanism, and confusing that with your personality isn't healthy.
Even if others don't like you for who you are in the end, at the end of the day no-one is liked by everyone, so judging yourself according to other people's perceptions will confuse and waste much time and energy.
Hope I helped
I doubt you are those things. I used to think that I was the things you just described, but eventually I worked out that the way I dealt with my fears and insecurities was to hide my real personality. I used to suppress any urge to start a conversation or contribute to one unless I was sure it wouldn't be ridiculed. At home I was a completely different person, but around new people I used no facial expressions, tonality expressions, or even change of posture, I walked around like a soldier all the time :roll:
Sometimes I'd even make myself deliberately seem stranger to other people so that they would reject me for reasons I was in control of, and so it wouldn't be dragged out for so long with me terrified of when it would happen. But none of it was my personality, because the irrational part of the brain isn't where your personality is. It just happens that irrationality can overide personality if that's what your brain thinks will help you survive. Your brain is wrong sometimes!
The fact that you yourself find the way you're behaving boring and wimpy probably means that there is another way you'd rather behave, and the way you want to behave is your personality. The way you're scared not to behave is just a defence mechanism, and confusing that with your personality isn't healthy.
Even if others don't like you for who you are in the end, at the end of the day no-one is liked by everyone, so judging yourself according to other people's perceptions will confuse and waste much time and energy.
Hope I helped
Anonymous
Well-known member
Thanks A Lot!!
thank u so much racheH for bringing my hopes up today because all day today i wasn't feeling too great i mean i was depressed thinking about what others think about my behaviour it was too overwhelming for me to go through. and yes i agree that it would be wasting my energy to think of other people's judgements of me. the thing i hate is when i believe it's true... that i should try and act more like myself ... but it's soo tough sometimes i almost give up. but i dont want to give up because i wanna live my life normally as i can and to be as happy about my life as much as i can. i'll keep in mind what u told me. You were a great help... Thanks.
thank u so much racheH for bringing my hopes up today because all day today i wasn't feeling too great i mean i was depressed thinking about what others think about my behaviour it was too overwhelming for me to go through. and yes i agree that it would be wasting my energy to think of other people's judgements of me. the thing i hate is when i believe it's true... that i should try and act more like myself ... but it's soo tough sometimes i almost give up. but i dont want to give up because i wanna live my life normally as i can and to be as happy about my life as much as i can. i'll keep in mind what u told me. You were a great help... Thanks.