For me or them?

[hbanana11]

Okay ive read a lot of posts where people say they want a bf/gf, they want to be normal, socialize with people, etc.

I cant help but wonder if we want these things because WE actually want them or because it is expected of us? Perhaps we want them simply because they would seem to make life easier, we wouldn't seem quite so odd to the world anymore, or because we might fit in.

But ive also read a lot of posts saying that most relationships are superficial, society is evil, etc.....Are we trying to conform to society's standards? Or do we truly want these things for US and not other people?

I cant even answer these questions for myself...what do you all think?

 

[zootdroop]

I think a lot of people want those things just cause that's what society expects of you. People think you are strange if you don't have a girlfriend, especially as you get older. And people don't want to be seen as strange, so they date anybody and go out just to be like everyone else. Plus we live in a materialistic society, everyone's gotta show off, whether it be cars, plasma tvs or girlfriends or boyfriends, that's part of it. That's one of the problems I have reading other people's posts here a lot, too many people it seems want to be married, want to be social so they can go out etc just cause that's what you are supposed to do. Me personally, I'll always be odd even if my social problems went away, my interests and things are just too out there. So it wouldn't work for me. I stopped trying to conform to society a long time ago. That said, I really do want a girlfriend or just a real good friend, it's something I think about a lot. But it has nothing to do with me wanting to conform to society, it's just for me. I think it's something I need, something that's missing.

I think a lot of relationships are superficial, I know guys I work with who do absolutely nothing with there wives, except have sex really, they have nothing in common, the guys watches sports and hangs out with his buddies drinking beer and the wife goes shopping and takes care of the kids...but "she's hot"...what kind of relationship is that? Plus I've seen my parents, they have absolutely nothing in common at all, they never do anything, except just go through the motions of what married couples are supposed to do, have kids, have a house, get a job...I don't want that, I've wondered ever since I was a kid, why are these people together? It seems like such an empty boring relationship. I want someone to connect with, to do things with. Sometimes I think maybe what I want doesnt exist, and is just a fantasy...I don't know, I'll stop rambling...

 

[faithnomore]

I think a lot of people want those things just cause that's what society expects of you. People think you are strange if you don't have a girlfriend, especially as you get older. And people don't want to be seen as strange, so they date anybody and go out just to be like everyone else. Plus we live in a materialistic society, everyone's gotta show off, whether it be cars, plasma tvs or girlfriends or boyfriends, that's part of it. That's one of the problems I have reading other people's posts here a lot, too many people it seems want to be married, want to be social so they can go out etc just cause that's what you are supposed to do. Me personally, I'll always be odd even if my social problems went away, my interests and things are just too out there. So it wouldn't work for me. I stopped trying to conform to society a long time ago. That said, I really do want a girlfriend or just a real good friend, it's something I think about a lot. But it has nothing to do with me wanting to conform to society, it's just for me. I think it's something I need, something that's missing.

I think a lot of relationships are superficial, I know guys I work with who do absolutely nothing with there wives, except have sex really, they have nothing in common, the guys watches sports and hangs out with his buddies drinking beer and the wife goes shopping and takes care of the kids...but "she's hot"...what kind of relationship is that? Plus I've seen my parents, they have absolutely nothing in common at all, they never do anything, except just go through the motions of what married couples are supposed to do, have kids, have a house, get a job...I don't want that, I've wondered ever since I was a kid, why are these people together? It seems like such an empty boring relationship. I want someone to connect with, to do things with. Sometimes I think maybe what I want doesnt exist, and is just a fantasy...I don't know, I'll stop rambling...

That is so damn true. I couldn't have said it better. That is exactly the way people are.

I personally want/need a girl in my life, but it is DEFINITELY expected of me aswell. And i cannot deal with the pressure of finding a girl that would date me. How the hell am i supposed to know which (if any) girl wants me!? Its impossible!

 

[hbanana11]

I think a lot of people want those things just cause that's what society expects of you. People think you are strange if you don't have a girlfriend, especially as you get older. And people don't want to be seen as strange, so they date anybody and go out just to be like everyone else. Plus we live in a materialistic society, everyone's gotta show off, whether it be cars, plasma tvs or girlfriends or boyfriends, that's part of it. That's one of the problems I have reading other people's posts here a lot, too many people it seems want to be married, want to be social so they can go out etc just cause that's what you are supposed to do. Me personally, I'll always be odd even if my social problems went away, my interests and things are just too out there. So it wouldn't work for me. I stopped trying to conform to society a long time ago. That said, I really do want a girlfriend or just a real good friend, it's something I think about a lot. But it has nothing to do with me wanting to conform to society, it's just for me. I think it's something I need, something that's missing.

I think a lot of relationships are superficial, I know guys I work with who do absolutely nothing with there wives, except have sex really, they have nothing in common, the guys watches sports and hangs out with his buddies drinking beer and the wife goes shopping and takes care of the kids...but "she's hot"...what kind of relationship is that? Plus I've seen my parents, they have absolutely nothing in common at all, they never do anything, except just go through the motions of what married couples are supposed to do, have kids, have a house, get a job...I don't want that, I've wondered ever since I was a kid, why are these people together? It seems like such an empty boring relationship. I want someone to connect with, to do things with. Sometimes I think maybe what I want doesnt exist, and is just a fantasy...I don't know, I'll stop rambling...

Well said. I think that pretty much sums up the way i feel.

 

[Helyna]

I also feel that society expects us all to have relationships. What movie doesn't have a love story in it? And look at the popular magazines: sex, sex, sex. You'd think there's nothing else in life. (And these are actually contradictory. Most movies show a true-love sort of story (at least at the end) while a lot of other things are just about the superficial side.)
Anyway, I think everyone feels pressured to have a girl/boyfriend whether they want to or not. Every time I get friendly with a boy, I think - usually with anxiety involved - Could I love him? Would I want him as a boyfriend? I feel like there's something wrong with me because I don't care very much. I've never had a real boyfriend and never truly wanted to. I feel like I am supposed to, so I keep looking.
I'm 17, by the way.