Anonymous
Well-known member
I am an 18 year old shy guy, I can at times be very introverted , or extroverted. Depends on the people i am around and my mood at that time. When I am feeling down I tend to hide this by coming across as very confident with many of my friends (or just plain moody if worst comes to worst). I do this by not disclosing much about myself , and play a "front" as the nice happy guy.
Anyway, this is the point I am trying to make. I am shy because I am *insecure* , like many of you are too as I would also suspect. I have found that much of this shyness is linked to mine or maybe in your case also your *physical apparence*, you feel that you have to look a certain way in order to be accepted by society, or in us guys cases "you feel as though you have to have a certain type of image i.e. a good body" - to be liked by girls (who said guys didnt get it hard). In my case its the body issue , I am very slim, v tall too - so I look like man in a boys body. There have been at times as a result of this , I have thought to myself "you know what I look shit today , let me lock myself at home today" or "I cant wear that top today, looks so skinny on me (I will stay at home as a result as my other tops are in the wash)" and frankly this is the vibe I am getting from other people in my situation. It is very easy to feel sorry for yourself, I know it is - its easy to stay at home all day and think about your depression, and waste your life away. But think about it this way , is it really worth it? Why do we have to be so superficial about ourselfs. I mean it angers me that society has turned into this, where superficiality on a persons image has got so out of control that me and you are being affected by it. Life is too short for this.
Ways to overcome this : you do not need therapy ,psychology,drugs etc as someone else mentioned in the *personal stories* section, its all in your head! Think about it , when you go outside , do you think anyone will care about the way you look or whatever , I mean I am sure everyone and anyone goes out , goes out for a purpose - they are busy , they do not have time to stand there and take the piss out of you....and even if they do, think of it this way, "what makes that person anymore better looking then me?They are clearly ignorant!" However if a particular body part really bugs you , lets say your weight, then do something about it - why dwell on something that you can change? join the gym like I have, and believe me if you do, than people have a lot more respect for you - because they can see that you are making an effort - that you have goals and ambitions in life. A guy I know who lifts 60kg on each arm, has a lot of respect for me.Guys come upto me in the gym , giving me advice , helping me out.
Life is hard, and I know at parties it is especially hard, I find parties hard too at times, with girls especially as I have less in common with them then my guy friends (harder to keep a convo flowing) - but once I have a few beers I become wild ( dont know how alcohol affects you). Sober or not sober , this is one thing you need to start doing, simply just BELIEVE in yourself, carry the "I dont give a fuck attitude" (that way you really wont let things bother you) "so what if they are looking, who cares? thats there problem!" and most importantly as a guy become something that people can envy and repect you for, have goals and ambitions and work towards them, as this way you can at least have pride about yourself and not feel like a waste. Also girls like guys who have some sort of determination in life to achieve something because in *psychological* terms they can provide for them. How many ugly guys have you seen with fit girls - says it all really. Priorities your life, be something then worry about girls, they come and go. Remember that. If your life is just about getting girls, then you should just be a pornstar. - and as you get older i am sure no one would want to settle down with you because all your life you have been a slave to your desires and not financially stable as a result - as all girls want security.
As guys we have it harder then girls by far, not only we have to have good status in terms of career wise , but we have to have the looks - to the point some guys take steroids or like women probably starve themselves if they are overweight. Also socially we have it harder , because we are expected to have tonnes loads of confidence, otherwise girls get nervous around the guy and therefore branded as weird. For this reason, I do not agree with any girl or guy when he/she says that guys have it easy.
Anyway , just remember to be yourself , if they dont like you then fuck them - you cannot expect everyone to like you. Just believe in yourself and I know this sounds selfish but believe me when I say this -concentrate on yourself, as life is what you make it - nobody will make your life, only you can! Survival of the fittest. Period. Use this experience to make you a stronger and much more maturer person. Use it to inspire you in acheiving your goals whatever it may be, like for example if you want to gain weight and be buff, everytime you goto the gym , visuallise how great you will look like once you get there and the rewards that will follow after it. Be optimistic , not pessimistic - never be pessimistic otherwise you will fall into depression and if anyone doubts you in any shape or form use that as an incentive to prove them wrong. AS thats all life is about, proving people wrong! Lifes too short to hate yourself.
Thank you for your time.
Anyway, this is the point I am trying to make. I am shy because I am *insecure* , like many of you are too as I would also suspect. I have found that much of this shyness is linked to mine or maybe in your case also your *physical apparence*, you feel that you have to look a certain way in order to be accepted by society, or in us guys cases "you feel as though you have to have a certain type of image i.e. a good body" - to be liked by girls (who said guys didnt get it hard). In my case its the body issue , I am very slim, v tall too - so I look like man in a boys body. There have been at times as a result of this , I have thought to myself "you know what I look shit today , let me lock myself at home today" or "I cant wear that top today, looks so skinny on me (I will stay at home as a result as my other tops are in the wash)" and frankly this is the vibe I am getting from other people in my situation. It is very easy to feel sorry for yourself, I know it is - its easy to stay at home all day and think about your depression, and waste your life away. But think about it this way , is it really worth it? Why do we have to be so superficial about ourselfs. I mean it angers me that society has turned into this, where superficiality on a persons image has got so out of control that me and you are being affected by it. Life is too short for this.
Ways to overcome this : you do not need therapy ,psychology,drugs etc as someone else mentioned in the *personal stories* section, its all in your head! Think about it , when you go outside , do you think anyone will care about the way you look or whatever , I mean I am sure everyone and anyone goes out , goes out for a purpose - they are busy , they do not have time to stand there and take the piss out of you....and even if they do, think of it this way, "what makes that person anymore better looking then me?They are clearly ignorant!" However if a particular body part really bugs you , lets say your weight, then do something about it - why dwell on something that you can change? join the gym like I have, and believe me if you do, than people have a lot more respect for you - because they can see that you are making an effort - that you have goals and ambitions in life. A guy I know who lifts 60kg on each arm, has a lot of respect for me.Guys come upto me in the gym , giving me advice , helping me out.
Life is hard, and I know at parties it is especially hard, I find parties hard too at times, with girls especially as I have less in common with them then my guy friends (harder to keep a convo flowing) - but once I have a few beers I become wild ( dont know how alcohol affects you). Sober or not sober , this is one thing you need to start doing, simply just BELIEVE in yourself, carry the "I dont give a fuck attitude" (that way you really wont let things bother you) "so what if they are looking, who cares? thats there problem!" and most importantly as a guy become something that people can envy and repect you for, have goals and ambitions and work towards them, as this way you can at least have pride about yourself and not feel like a waste. Also girls like guys who have some sort of determination in life to achieve something because in *psychological* terms they can provide for them. How many ugly guys have you seen with fit girls - says it all really. Priorities your life, be something then worry about girls, they come and go. Remember that. If your life is just about getting girls, then you should just be a pornstar. - and as you get older i am sure no one would want to settle down with you because all your life you have been a slave to your desires and not financially stable as a result - as all girls want security.
As guys we have it harder then girls by far, not only we have to have good status in terms of career wise , but we have to have the looks - to the point some guys take steroids or like women probably starve themselves if they are overweight. Also socially we have it harder , because we are expected to have tonnes loads of confidence, otherwise girls get nervous around the guy and therefore branded as weird. For this reason, I do not agree with any girl or guy when he/she says that guys have it easy.
Anyway , just remember to be yourself , if they dont like you then fuck them - you cannot expect everyone to like you. Just believe in yourself and I know this sounds selfish but believe me when I say this -concentrate on yourself, as life is what you make it - nobody will make your life, only you can! Survival of the fittest. Period. Use this experience to make you a stronger and much more maturer person. Use it to inspire you in acheiving your goals whatever it may be, like for example if you want to gain weight and be buff, everytime you goto the gym , visuallise how great you will look like once you get there and the rewards that will follow after it. Be optimistic , not pessimistic - never be pessimistic otherwise you will fall into depression and if anyone doubts you in any shape or form use that as an incentive to prove them wrong. AS thats all life is about, proving people wrong! Lifes too short to hate yourself.
Thank you for your time.