Shutinshell
Member
I am in my early 20's and I have never dated. Never had a boyfriend, kissed, didnt go to my prom, etc. I had crushes. I had guys who seemed like they might like me back. There was even guys who did have a small crush on me. But nothing ever came of it. I'm shy. I cant flirt with a guy and smile at a guy because I am shy. I always get the same response. You are pretty but you dont smile. You look mad or upset all the time. Well..I'm shy. I cant just make myself unshy. If a guy looks my way I freeze up and look down straight away. I cant calm down.
I'm getting so desperate I'm considering dating sites and dating men old enough to be my father. I just dont want to be alone anymore. I feel myself getting more desperate as time goes on. I am so scared of hitting 30 and still being in this situation.
My mother's boyfriends kid annoyingly kept asking me if I ever had a bf or have one. I didnt want to answer because I felt ashamed. So I just gave vague non-answers. I dont want to tell some little kid w/ a girlfriend who probably has more experience than me (so ****ing ashamed of myself) that I never had one. This went on for a while. He kept pestering me about this. One day my mom heard and loudly in front of everyone said that I never had one and was a good girl. She told me I have virtues. I have virtues? What the hell does that even mean? I'm not this way by choice! When I try to discuss this with her it almost sounds like she's happy I'm still single. My sister gives me better advice in this area but I dont have the courage to go through with it.
I considered joining a dating site but I am afraid to put up a picture. I am afraid someone I know will see it. Another scenario is someone from the site seeing me and calling out to me and having people I know find out. At the same time I know that no pic likely means no responses. Why I am afraid I dont really know. I mean I'm an adult. Who cares if they know right? Somehow I still feel scared. Plus even if I met a guy who was interested I dont have anything to offer him except my body and company. For a long time I was a major shut in so I am behind in alot of things.
Btw please save me the you dont need a man to be happy bit. I want a man, dont have one, and I'm not happy. Its pretty simple. Anyway I just sort of wanted to rant. Its easier to do so to a bunch of strangers.
I'm getting so desperate I'm considering dating sites and dating men old enough to be my father. I just dont want to be alone anymore. I feel myself getting more desperate as time goes on. I am so scared of hitting 30 and still being in this situation.
My mother's boyfriends kid annoyingly kept asking me if I ever had a bf or have one. I didnt want to answer because I felt ashamed. So I just gave vague non-answers. I dont want to tell some little kid w/ a girlfriend who probably has more experience than me (so ****ing ashamed of myself) that I never had one. This went on for a while. He kept pestering me about this. One day my mom heard and loudly in front of everyone said that I never had one and was a good girl. She told me I have virtues. I have virtues? What the hell does that even mean? I'm not this way by choice! When I try to discuss this with her it almost sounds like she's happy I'm still single. My sister gives me better advice in this area but I dont have the courage to go through with it.
I considered joining a dating site but I am afraid to put up a picture. I am afraid someone I know will see it. Another scenario is someone from the site seeing me and calling out to me and having people I know find out. At the same time I know that no pic likely means no responses. Why I am afraid I dont really know. I mean I'm an adult. Who cares if they know right? Somehow I still feel scared. Plus even if I met a guy who was interested I dont have anything to offer him except my body and company. For a long time I was a major shut in so I am behind in alot of things.
Btw please save me the you dont need a man to be happy bit. I want a man, dont have one, and I'm not happy. Its pretty simple. Anyway I just sort of wanted to rant. Its easier to do so to a bunch of strangers.