Sorry that this post is so long. I was just wondering if anyone experiences anything similar to what I do. Although I haven't met with my doctor yet, I'm nearly certain that I have SA and OCD. The amount of grief it causes me with my social life is so troublesome.
I don't have any friends, besides a female friend that I made in my senior year of high school. It's so odd to me that out of all the people at my high school, I befriended a girl (not that that's a bad thing). Anyway, it turns out that I have feelings for her, which makes it all the more difficult (I don't think she has any clue though). I get so anxious every single time that we do something. I will fret about what I'm wearing, what she thinks about me, if I do something embarrassing, etc. I just finally bought a car in March, so now, I would be the one driving when we do things, I suppose. I'm actually very scared to drive because of SA (and my OCD thoughts). I don't even know if I can drive with her in my car. I get nervous just thinking about it. To make matters worse, she had mentioned a few months ago that her best friend would like to see me. I haven't seen her since I graduated, but apparently my friend talks about me to her, for whatever reason (probably about how messed up I am). We had spoken a couple of weeks ago about meeting up for lunch, and we just set something for tomorrow. She told me that her best friend would also like to come. I am so uncomfortable, I get nervous just thinking about it. I was actually so sad today, because in a weird kind of way, I love the company, but the whole thing makes me so nervous. I was just going to say that I have to work, and I can't go. I know that if I do that, I'll be really depressed for the day. Of course, if I do go, I'll be nervous all the time before. As terrible as this sounds, I was almost thinking about saying that I was going to be near the restaurant and would just meet them, so I don't have to drive with them in my car.
It's so hard to deal with SA/OCD, when you have a friend who doesn't have it. I'm not sure that she wouldn't understand, but I don't know for sure. I've never told her that I have issues, even though I know she knows that I get stressed about certain things. She may just think I have bad nerves or something. In the past, I made up excuses because I was afraid to meet up. It's so hard though, because if I do cancel plans, I feel like I'm missing out on a great social opportunity. Deep down I want to do things, but my mind just won't let me relax. I sometimes wonder if it's worth to just say that I have issues, so everything makes more sense...of course, it makes me fear that I'll scare her off, and she'll no longer be friends with me.
I don't have any friends, besides a female friend that I made in my senior year of high school. It's so odd to me that out of all the people at my high school, I befriended a girl (not that that's a bad thing). Anyway, it turns out that I have feelings for her, which makes it all the more difficult (I don't think she has any clue though). I get so anxious every single time that we do something. I will fret about what I'm wearing, what she thinks about me, if I do something embarrassing, etc. I just finally bought a car in March, so now, I would be the one driving when we do things, I suppose. I'm actually very scared to drive because of SA (and my OCD thoughts). I don't even know if I can drive with her in my car. I get nervous just thinking about it. To make matters worse, she had mentioned a few months ago that her best friend would like to see me. I haven't seen her since I graduated, but apparently my friend talks about me to her, for whatever reason (probably about how messed up I am). We had spoken a couple of weeks ago about meeting up for lunch, and we just set something for tomorrow. She told me that her best friend would also like to come. I am so uncomfortable, I get nervous just thinking about it. I was actually so sad today, because in a weird kind of way, I love the company, but the whole thing makes me so nervous. I was just going to say that I have to work, and I can't go. I know that if I do that, I'll be really depressed for the day. Of course, if I do go, I'll be nervous all the time before. As terrible as this sounds, I was almost thinking about saying that I was going to be near the restaurant and would just meet them, so I don't have to drive with them in my car.
It's so hard to deal with SA/OCD, when you have a friend who doesn't have it. I'm not sure that she wouldn't understand, but I don't know for sure. I've never told her that I have issues, even though I know she knows that I get stressed about certain things. She may just think I have bad nerves or something. In the past, I made up excuses because I was afraid to meet up. It's so hard though, because if I do cancel plans, I feel like I'm missing out on a great social opportunity. Deep down I want to do things, but my mind just won't let me relax. I sometimes wonder if it's worth to just say that I have issues, so everything makes more sense...of course, it makes me fear that I'll scare her off, and she'll no longer be friends with me.
