Gonna try it tonite

[hitch]

Well, I'm not going to write any "goodbye letter" to my family, never quite understood that, just thought I'd tell you guys since I'm sure most of ya been in the same boat as me, I'm done with trying all the drugs, all the different therapists, it's just not going to change, I think for some people this world is just never going to be right, I'll be 30 next month, not old by some standards but old enough when you consider all those years have miserable and wasted.

I still have no job, I live in my uncle's basement, I haven't had sex in almost 2yrs now, and that one was breaking a 7 year drought, not that I enjoy sex all that much anyhow, I'm flunking out of school AGAIN, I give up. I just plan to take a bunch of sleeping pills and fall asleep with the car running, (I rented a storage unit), I don't believe much in fate or god or whatever, but I guess if I wake up in the morning I'll have to give it another go, for awhile, if not, I'll see all of you on the other side. Thanks for listening and I hope all of you find a way to beat this.

 

[J]

Hey man, don't do it!! Think of the pain you'll cause your family.

Every time I've been in that black hole you're in right now, something happened after it slooooowly began to lift that made me realize that I did want to stay alive, and that the feeling that there is nothing to live for and that nothing good will ever happen to me again is nothing but a nasty *illusion* created by my ailing mind. It *seems* like reality, but it's not.

Hang in there, man!! Everyone here is rooting for you.

And no, 30 is not old. It seems that way when you're 20-something, but I'm almost 32 now and changed my perspective on that lol

 

[thelostworld]

good luck to you, hitch...i would really take a good look at what you're going to be missing before you kill yourself, even though i'm sure you've done that already. why did you choose that particular method by the way?

 

[Colin]

Sorry if I encourage you to go one way or the other, I will just tell it like I think it is. I see no great power, no reason for my existence, no right, no wrong. I am so confused, suffering, yet life may still be interesting.
I know these are not the appropriate words but this is all I can muster. If this be your option at least ride out one last time for interest's sake, and you have my word I will ride out too because there is nothing more to lose. It is time for a SA expedition.

 

[maggie]

Hey hitch, we need you in our silent army!! You need us to support you and we need you to support us, don't give up, you never know what is around the corner

 

[Sebastian]

Death is not the end of life,
Just as life is not the end of death,
But if one really opts for it as a solution,
Let him change the world before parting.



If you really want to kill yourself, try to save or significantly change around other peoples' lives before doing it. After you've done so, it would be most interesting to listen to the events.

 

[Rargh]

I am sorry for what you're going through....but being hard on yourself isnt gonna make things better.....Its not your fault that things dont go the right way or if you have physiological (or not) problem.................You still have the right to be alive despite your accomplishments, and what you define them as. They dont define "you."


You have the right to "enjoy" things and work on giving yourself permission to grow for "yourself"...and learn and grow for yourself. Its more easier to compare yourself to YOU.


Its hard sometimes when you get bogged down by these "Poison monuments" or whatever you want to call them......things that you have to "obtain" by a certain age, but who really makes up the rules. You might have some wisdom or experiences that no one else had gone through, and that can just be enough for YOU personally, if not even the world.

I am blabbin here and very tired, but am very concerned......I really hope you the best....and focusing on the seconds sometimes helps me

Love to ya

-Rargh

Ps I gave this account on a public forum (the pearl jam message pit) just in case others wanted to come here).........

Please, just know that you have the right to be alive despite your anxiety
or how much you have accomplished (thats not even always tangible).....You are a part of this world......and we need more sensitive people like you...........God bless!

 

[Rargh]

Hey hitch, we need you in our silent army!! You need us to support you and we need you to support us, don't give up, you never know what is around the corner

Thats soo true..........Just hearing your words makes me feel that i am not alone........


Support helps, and you've supported lots of people by just being honest
(including me).........Support also in being alive.........empathy.

 

[Damien]

i wonder if he did it...

Damien

 

[FruitLooPs]

i wonder if he did it...

Damien

I don't.

To be honest I think it does no good for peoples mental state to be reading about people ending their lives on the forums, most of us are rather sensitive people - things like this probably effect us more than the general population. Also not having any decent outlets only causes more problems.

Like the time I read about some guy who killed himself by ODing on drugs while on a webcam and in a irc chatroom - people could see him dying but could do nothing to help since they didn't know where he lived .. :? I know after reading that I felt quite disturbed about it and distressed but didn't know of anyone to talk about it with so I just bottled my feelings about it up.

This place is depressing enough, learning of people topping themselves doesn't do alot to help that..

Of course thats just me, death and dying will always peak human interest naturally.

Heres a link to a true story about a guy who attempted suicide, its pretty well emotional and would serve as a good reminder that theres always a way back up: http://tmosg.nzrealm.com/article.php?16.0

 

[ppaul]

FruitLoops Im the with you on this one.

 

[FruitLooPs]

are you guys actually suggesting that the guy was selfish to post here??? ffs. he was suicidal. sheesh, hope it didnt put you off your dinner or spoil your day too much. ffs.

No of course I don't think that... I think its just wrong to find out whether he really did it or not - what does that achieve at the end of the day??

Surely you cant deny that reading about people killing themselves is slightly depressing?

I fully think that people should come here if they are feeling suicidal and want to have somewhere to vent. But probing as to whether they topped themselves does no good, I certainly wouldn't enjoy finding out from someone in the know posting on here saying that he really did do it...

Offering support or advice is fine IMO.. wondering if he is dead or not doesn't really seem all that respectful or something, probably just me? :?:

 

[Hamble]

This is one thing that really bugs me about these forums :?

 

[maggie]

I wonder what happened to hitch; I hope you are still with us. Trust me, I understand some of the shit you go through, some of the stuff you feel, a lot of us do. I had a crappy few days, haven't been on too much. And I do agree that we should feel free to "say" pretty much whatever we feel here, cause many of us have noone else that we confide in. I say here stuff I could never trust to say to anyone else. I thank you guys for that.

 

[Colin]

Wait, no, I'm still confused. Seriously, I enjoy reading your (pl.) thoughts because I can relate to them in some way or another.

 

[Rargh]

is everything ok???

 

[redwine]

Hey hitch, we need you in our silent army!! You need us to support you and we need you to support us, don't give up, you never know what is around the corner

Please, dont´do it!