Guilt/Shame Over Being Sad/Afraid?

[Solitudes_Grace]

Does anyone ever feel guilty and/or ashamed over being sad and/or afraid?

I often have feelings of guilt when I am sad. I feel like I shouldn't be sad, so I feel guilty for letting the sadness take over me.

 

[EscapeArtist]

do you feel guilty for being sad around yourself? Or do you feel guilty about being sad... and having other people see it?

I have the same thing yes, but it's more a feeling of shame of weakness. I feel weak for not being able to help myself, when others have had problems in their life and been able to move past it eventually or keep positive. A lot of guilt comes forth when interacting with people because I feel as if they'll be able to see this sadness, and see it as weakness. Uhhmmmhmmm anybody know any way to prevent this feeling of shame for being sad? it's a really really good question and topic.

 

[truffleshuffle]

I don;t know if I would call it feeling guilty or shame for being sad or afraid. I feel more shame for letting things get to me that make it harder for me to have the life I want. and not able to do something about it.

 

[laure15]

Yes, I feel ashamed for being afraid, especially when I'm in social situations and I wasn't able to stand up for myself for fear of being ganged up on. I also feel ashamed for not being able to help others out of fear of doing things out of my comfort zone.

 

[Unspoken]

I feel ashamed because it seems like it really shouldn't be a big deal. I know the things that set me off are often small, but it doesn't always help to think of that. I let myself be bothered by things that other people don't even think about.

 

[Dreamscape]

I also feel ashamed because i can't keep up with people that is better than me socially visualize me weak and desperate. people tend to move away from me because only thing i talk about is how desperate i am, which is another reason that made me feel ashamed. I don't know how to fix this with my AvPD. feeling shame because i can't handle myself in social situation.

 

[dean01]

i feel ashamed when i cant live up to other ppls standards, like when my dad says get a grip or be a man, its demening to feel that i cant do what he expects of me. which leads to guilt as i repeat things in my head like, it must be me and why cant i do it.
the best thing to remember is thats there view and thats all it is. we are all individuals and all have different opinions.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

do you feel guilty for being sad around yourself? Or do you feel guilty about being sad... and having other people see it?

I feel guilty when I interact with other people while I am sad. I feel like my sadness will negatively affect the people around me, so I feel guilty as a result.

 

[sullyS25]

Does anyone ever feel guilty and/or ashamed over being sad and/or afraid?

I often have feelings of guilt when I am sad. I feel like I shouldn't be sad, so I feel guilty for letting the sadness take over me.

I have also had these feelings myself and it is a never ending cycle of guilt, anxiety and shame which is not fun at all.

I have found that the problem lies in judging the fact that we are sad. Emotions are fueled by thoughts and when one emotion is set off it in turn fuels more negative thoughts. When we judge our emotions we are just adding more fuel to the fire and perpetuating the feelings of sadness/guilt/anxiety. Arguing with reality will result in being uncomfortable 100% of the time.

As hard as it is, when I feel sad, I try and observe the feeling as it is and accept that it is there. In the past when I have tried to change how I feel by judging what I am feeling, it has just made things worse so instead of telling myself I shouldn't be sad, I accept that I am feeling that way with open arms and sooner or later relief comes.

I have realized that the idea that we can control our thoughts or emotions is nonsense. Somedays I will wake up with overwhelming anxiety and have no idea why it is there. I have also noticed that when I am vigilant in observing my thoughts that they too come out of no where so instead of trying to control what I am feeling, I try and accept it and welcome it and that is where I have found peace of mind.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

Hi Solitudes Grace. Your last message really illustrates how much of a big heart you have. It's very compassionate to so strongly consider the thoughts and feelings of those around you. I'm sure for that reason alone, the people in your life greatly value your presence because you seem to have a certain quality which is very rare. These feelings you have described are common with depression.

I just wanted to let you know that you do have good traits so I hope that you do not avoid people because of a sense of being unworthy.

Thank you for your words

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Does anyone ever feel guilty and/or ashamed over being sad and/or afraid?

I often have feelings of guilt when I am sad. I feel like I shouldn't be sad, so I feel guilty for letting the sadness take over me.

I think I feel ashamed in general. I'm ashamed for feeling so helpless....very ashamed about that!