Guys this is urgent. I have really severe OCD and I might go half blind Soon

[porker]

Hi Guys this is really really really urgent. I have really severe OCD and I might go half blind and my head feels so bad because of my rituals.

I am now 22 and still in college. It all started two years ago when I developed a ritual which is straining my forehead muscles and squeezing my eye inside to prevent bad things from happening. It seemed to be quite successful at first until my eye has gotten really blurred and bad, seeing coloured lines and spots. It is so hard to stop it as I have been doing great with this ritual in my life like getting good grades in college which I have never done before and all but it IS hurting my eyes and head real bad. and I hate it I actually preferred my life the way it was before I even got good grades. That is how bad it is! So this time I calmed myself down and relaxed n did not straining my neck muscles at all and behold, WHY GOD WHY?? sth bad REALLY REALLY happened I swear one of things I have feared the most and caused me to do my rituals, a bed bug dropped on my bed and tried to bite me. I have been fearing bedbugs for very long and have never seen ONE before my apartment which I have just moved in this week claims that here are no bed bugs.SO the landlord said yes it was a bedbug. Now I can't stop squeezing my eyes and straining my head ITS SO BAD because I fear all my worst fears might come true. The fear of bed bugs was one of the worst fears I had which made me do this OCD habit. I am so ****ed up now!!!

It's so unfortunate that the thing i feared the most ACTUALLY happened the very first moment I tried to relax which means i am cursed when i relaxed and bad things will always happen when I relax which has become a more convinced reality because this WAS the 2 time it happened. The other time I totally relaxed and tell my say Ok nothing is going to happen (did not squeeze my eyes), and I ****nig FELL OFF a ski hill but of course not badly injured at all. But all such fears only come true WHEN I tell my self to let go and relax and the curse is activated when I stop squeezing my eyes. I was like trying to tell myself to start a whole new life and now i am SO So so so so so scared IT FAILED THAT my ocd is actually true and I have to squeeze my eyes the whole day to prevent bad things from happening!! omg and my eyes and body are so tired and I have so much eye bags and look older by the day if I keep doing it. But I just can't stop because of those 2 incdients where my GREATEST fear actually occurred when I STOPPED. Guys please you gotta help me this forum is my last resort before I do something stupid. I cant even walk proerly now because evrey ****ing minute I have to keep reminding myself not to relax and HAVE TO strain my eyes.

 

[Flanscho]

Well, I don't know if you are in therapy, but if you are not, you know that you should be.

Why have you been fearing bed bugs? They've been with humanity since mankind exists. Buy an anti-bedbug-spray or something similar, and in the worst case get a new mattress and stuff. That's not a serious problem. A serious problem is people having uncurable cancer or something. They'd give everything they have to trade that for some insects.

I hope you do know that whether you do that ritual or not has no impact on anything apart the way you perceive things. Bedbugs don't know whether you do that ritual. It's just a matter of how you see things.

Sorry if I said anything offensive or something, as said I'm no therapist. Just sharing my thoughts. I guess it can be really difficult for a person to change or abandon such rituals, so that's why I advise a therapist. For stuff like nail biting or something there are commercial solutions, though I guess there ain't products that help you with your ritual.

 

[porker]

Well I kind of fear bed bugs but I fear a million other things as well like whether my loved ones are safe and ok or like losing friends, getting cancer and all that stuff. The real ultimate fear I have now is that all these fears will come true unless I do that ritual. I have been already convinced by that bed bug incident and the snow incident that relaxing can make me vulnerable to my fears coming true.

 

[porker]

And bed bugs are fearful not because of the bites but at the rate at which they can infest your favourite clothes, your favourite bed, everything little thing you have and they are so sick and can spread to wherever yo u go.

 

[Kiwong]

You're OCD isn't true. I think you need to see or talk to someone who is specialised or experienced in OCD disorders. Good luck in seeking help. I would be certain you got good grades because you deserved them as a good student. Maybe desensitisation therapy is the way to go, a therapist could take you step by step in showing you your OCD fears are indeed irrational.

 

[laure15]

I have been fearing bedbugs for very long and have never seen ONE before my apartment which I have just moved in this week claims that here are no bed bugs.SO the landlord said yes it was a bedbug.

It looks like you got scammed. Can you find another apartment, if it's not too late?

If not, consider buying bed bug sprays or calling pest control.

 

[Diend]

I did have a severe OCD problem Where I would pray to Jesus every time I said a curse word in my head. But as you can see your OCD is causing you physical problems. Which is pretty serious. The way I got over my OCD involved me finally Giving up on trying to fulfill these feelings. I'm not a medical professional So I can only give you some personal tips. You might have a very cautious personality and the solution is to stop being so much of a perfectionist. So what if you get bitten by a bedbug or get hit while going down the ski slopes it's not related to your OCD

 

[mismeek]

subconciously you know that your OCD isn't preventing bad things from happening, you just have to realize that. If you were to drop a raw egg on to the floor, do you think squeezing your eyes is going to prevent it from breaking? thats kind of how life is.. you can predict or control whats going to happen. Your good grades are because youre doing a good job, NOT because youre squeezing your eyes. You dont squeeze your eyes in your sleep...so whats protecting you then? you just gotta break the habit sir.

But honestly i dont think we can really help you... It sounds like you need some professional help. really hope you get some. We are here to support you

Good luck!!