has anyone fully recovered from this?
- Thread starter socialhen
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Infected_Malignity
Well-known member
Everyone has it to some degree. Some people are used to the feeling, others can't deal with it - And some people are just plain old losers.
hotsauce
Member
Well from SA I think I'm doing alright.
From not begin able to walk out the door by myself two years ago to finding out I had it in April to going to college in October of this year.
I mean on the first day I was going to get someone to take me in but I did it myself, wasn't that enthusiastic but a few weeks later I am alright.
I think dealing with it is all about being aware, not succumbing to it and taking the right steps.
From not begin able to walk out the door by myself two years ago to finding out I had it in April to going to college in October of this year.
I mean on the first day I was going to get someone to take me in but I did it myself, wasn't that enthusiastic but a few weeks later I am alright.
I think dealing with it is all about being aware, not succumbing to it and taking the right steps.
Butterflies
Well-known member
I'm managing quite well now - but it's taken alot of patient effort. From time to time I get set-backs but overall things are getting better.
It is possible - so don't give up.
It is possible - so don't give up.
phoenix1
Well-known member
It is possible. Its so difficult because we are traped in our own mind. Everytime we try to directly get rid of social anxiety or try to get rid of the pain of it, we end up creating more social anxiety. Anxiety is created from pain and the more we try to fight the pain, the more anxiety we get from it.
The way to get better is to work towards the good side of being confident, outgoing and happy instead of trying to rid yourself of the pain and agony of SA first.
In our brains the logical order is always to try to get rid of pain before experiencing the good side. Our brains think that the good side is not even possible because we do everything in our power to rid ourselves of pain and we end up getting more pain (the nature of SA).
The day that the desire to be a better person is greater than the desire to rid yourself of pain is the day that social interaction becomes something to crave instead of something to fear..and thats speaking from personal experience as well. Someone who was a complete basket case just a few years ago.
The way to get better is to work towards the good side of being confident, outgoing and happy instead of trying to rid yourself of the pain and agony of SA first.
In our brains the logical order is always to try to get rid of pain before experiencing the good side. Our brains think that the good side is not even possible because we do everything in our power to rid ourselves of pain and we end up getting more pain (the nature of SA).
The day that the desire to be a better person is greater than the desire to rid yourself of pain is the day that social interaction becomes something to crave instead of something to fear..and thats speaking from personal experience as well. Someone who was a complete basket case just a few years ago.
random
Well-known member
It has taken a long time - but I have begun to see proof that my SA is getting better. In the past 6 months, I have been able to go to some social gatherings and, for the first time in my life, I enjoyed it. The relief from the panic has been odd. Sometimes I found myself sitting at a table with people and wondering why it was impossible before. I don't think I am over it completely - I still have more to do. The two things that have helped me the most is the assistance of a clinical psychologist and a safe and friendly church to go to. At times I have also taken anti-anxiety medication to get through the worst times when I ws facing past trauma.
I think that there are many variations, many different ways that we could end up with SA. So different people are helped by different treatments. For me - growing up in my family, I grew up believing that there was something lacking in me and that I would never be normal and so I would never be accepted anywhere. That fear was hidden in my head under layers of 'issues' (mom's death, dad's drinking. etc.) Finally when enough of the 'issues' were cleared away through psychological counseling and prayer- I could start feeling like an 'ok' human being and then it began to be ok to be around people more. I didn't feel like I had to hide who I 'really' was anymore. It takes time and patience. The healing begins long before you start to see 'results'.
I think that there are many variations, many different ways that we could end up with SA. So different people are helped by different treatments. For me - growing up in my family, I grew up believing that there was something lacking in me and that I would never be normal and so I would never be accepted anywhere. That fear was hidden in my head under layers of 'issues' (mom's death, dad's drinking. etc.) Finally when enough of the 'issues' were cleared away through psychological counseling and prayer- I could start feeling like an 'ok' human being and then it began to be ok to be around people more. I didn't feel like I had to hide who I 'really' was anymore. It takes time and patience. The healing begins long before you start to see 'results'.
Generical
Well-known member
I have to admit i feel pretty lucky, i really am getting over it. Anyways im now 19 and ive been shy all my life really and things just got worse and worse in secondary school (when i was around 14) i never noticed that i blushed in front of some people before that but suddenly it started at school in classrooms when your asked a question. I basically started thinking whoa im going red and then thats all i could think about in any situation. It just clouded my mind i was suddenly terrorfied of going red in front of people, even my closest friends and family. I knew it was stupid yet it's all i could think about. Anyway it stayed this bad for less than a year when i improved a bit, to the point where i was ok with me friends and family but still hopeless with anyone i didnt know (especially if they were popular in anyway).
This went on till i started year 11 (i was around 16) when at some point i had to do a presentaion in English class. I was damn worried weeks before i had to do it, i became so nervous that i felt sick just thinking about it. When the day eventually came to do it, i wasnt picked to do it that day sooooo i had to wait for about another week still feeling ill just from the nervous. If i remember rightly i did do it at some point and it was probably fine but next day after doing it i realised i was still nervous but for this time it really was for no reason. I found out that i had become nervous of being nervous, which was great.......just what i needed really. Anyway it got to the point where i was too nervous to leave the house, i would turn down every invite to go to a friends house or something like that.......luckily i managed to keep going to school and just feel sick for half the day when it would eventually cease when i realised (although i already knew this) everything is ok and there nothing to worry about (HA!) and was also able to hide it from my friends.
Ok now ive bored you all about the start of it heres the success story. Im not realy sure when or how exactly but simply from making myself go out to parties or travelling somewhere completly on my own i began to improve. I managed to break the cycle of nervousness simply by fighting (just like most phobias) and it really worked, i basically worried about things less and less and going places (like non sufferers people) has become completely normal and fine. My parents helped a lot by pushing me to do things and getting a job is a great help, im a waitor so i have to talk to customers etc. whcih has been a great help with my problems of going red..............i basically can talk to most people and not think about going red unless i know them from somewhere or they are the same age and/or attractive........if they are then im kinda screwed but ive learned to shrug it off hehe.
Although there are a few things i havent sorted out for example ive never had close relationship with someone, which i have to say really sucks, i mean you may get a little more than the usual closeness to someone and as soon as that happens you suddenly almost become afraid of them. Hmmmmm hahaha maybe im not so over it but still...... excluding the close relationship bit i can now happily drive into town pickup friends walk down the street without being a little bit worried about other people or myself and am probably going to go uni next year......if i get in
This went on till i started year 11 (i was around 16) when at some point i had to do a presentaion in English class. I was damn worried weeks before i had to do it, i became so nervous that i felt sick just thinking about it. When the day eventually came to do it, i wasnt picked to do it that day sooooo i had to wait for about another week still feeling ill just from the nervous. If i remember rightly i did do it at some point and it was probably fine but next day after doing it i realised i was still nervous but for this time it really was for no reason. I found out that i had become nervous of being nervous, which was great.......just what i needed really. Anyway it got to the point where i was too nervous to leave the house, i would turn down every invite to go to a friends house or something like that.......luckily i managed to keep going to school and just feel sick for half the day when it would eventually cease when i realised (although i already knew this) everything is ok and there nothing to worry about (HA!) and was also able to hide it from my friends.
Ok now ive bored you all about the start of it heres the success story. Im not realy sure when or how exactly but simply from making myself go out to parties or travelling somewhere completly on my own i began to improve. I managed to break the cycle of nervousness simply by fighting (just like most phobias) and it really worked, i basically worried about things less and less and going places (like non sufferers people) has become completely normal and fine. My parents helped a lot by pushing me to do things and getting a job is a great help, im a waitor so i have to talk to customers etc. whcih has been a great help with my problems of going red..............i basically can talk to most people and not think about going red unless i know them from somewhere or they are the same age and/or attractive........if they are then im kinda screwed but ive learned to shrug it off hehe.
Although there are a few things i havent sorted out for example ive never had close relationship with someone, which i have to say really sucks, i mean you may get a little more than the usual closeness to someone and as soon as that happens you suddenly almost become afraid of them. Hmmmmm hahaha maybe im not so over it but still...... excluding the close relationship bit i can now happily drive into town pickup friends walk down the street without being a little bit worried about other people or myself and am probably going to go uni next year......if i get in
Yes.
When I was in high school,
I couldn't go to the school Canteen and would pay my friends money to buy my food for me. Other then food bought at the canteen (maybe 5 times a year, I could never eat in school. I still have some difficulties eating in front of people who aren't my close family).
I couldn't go out anywhere, especially the cinemas (some bad experiences when I was younger, like friends being loud, or people throwing things at me).
My sister is VERY loud and my dad always says awful jokes..which I felt humiliated me and I didn't want to be seen with them. I would shush my friends or family in public if I thought they were drawing unnecessary attention to me. I still do to a large degree. Like if my mum got mad at someone at McDonald's for getting our order wrong and she would yell, I would hide somewhere nearby and cry. If my teacher yelled at someone in class, I would wait till class was over then go cry somewhere hidden.
It got to a point where I couldn't post on my forums on the Internet, and barely talked to anyone on MSN. I tried to never speak because I felt everything I said was awful and would make me sound stupid.
The turning point for me was getting into University, followed by getting my first job. Both forced me to engage with people to some degree, whether it was taking public transport, to class discussions which were part of my assessment, or my job which was to say hello to people entering the store.
Now days I can go to the cinemas whenever I want, I can go shopping and talk to cash registers. I'm happy and cheery at my job and have regular customers I swap stories with. I engage frequently in University classes, and have made some tentative friendships. I'm even planning to join dance lessons in the summer. I can sometimes call people like when I joined my private health insurance or my Internet died and my mum wouldn't call for me.
I feel like I'm getting over it, like its possible now. Its not perfect, I still have trouble making friends, I could never imagine going out to a restaurant or a nightclub. I still feel uncomfortable in some of the situations I talked about above, but I CAN do them now. But my number one break through was the stopping of the stomach pains I use to suffer everyday, where I would pretty much be unable to walk and be throwing up constantly. Now no pain. One thing that really helped me was finding out that what was wrong with me wasn't in my head, it had a name and symptoms, and treatment and OTHER people believed it existed. It was like a soothing balm. And of course some of my other problems come from depression and what I think may be other similar disorders or problems, but I have no diagnosis of any of this, except my own studies in Psychology.
While I'm going, a lot of people mention fear of public speaking, which is one thing I have never had a problem with. I had to give a speech in front of 260 people at my state library, with famous authors and all present, and not a problem. My mind turns off and just talks..even in class orals I have never suffered a fear of that. Which surprises and confuses me.
When I was in high school,
I couldn't go to the school Canteen and would pay my friends money to buy my food for me. Other then food bought at the canteen (maybe 5 times a year, I could never eat in school. I still have some difficulties eating in front of people who aren't my close family).
I couldn't go out anywhere, especially the cinemas (some bad experiences when I was younger, like friends being loud, or people throwing things at me).
My sister is VERY loud and my dad always says awful jokes..which I felt humiliated me and I didn't want to be seen with them. I would shush my friends or family in public if I thought they were drawing unnecessary attention to me. I still do to a large degree. Like if my mum got mad at someone at McDonald's for getting our order wrong and she would yell, I would hide somewhere nearby and cry. If my teacher yelled at someone in class, I would wait till class was over then go cry somewhere hidden.
It got to a point where I couldn't post on my forums on the Internet, and barely talked to anyone on MSN. I tried to never speak because I felt everything I said was awful and would make me sound stupid.
The turning point for me was getting into University, followed by getting my first job. Both forced me to engage with people to some degree, whether it was taking public transport, to class discussions which were part of my assessment, or my job which was to say hello to people entering the store.
Now days I can go to the cinemas whenever I want, I can go shopping and talk to cash registers. I'm happy and cheery at my job and have regular customers I swap stories with. I engage frequently in University classes, and have made some tentative friendships. I'm even planning to join dance lessons in the summer. I can sometimes call people like when I joined my private health insurance or my Internet died and my mum wouldn't call for me.
I feel like I'm getting over it, like its possible now. Its not perfect, I still have trouble making friends, I could never imagine going out to a restaurant or a nightclub. I still feel uncomfortable in some of the situations I talked about above, but I CAN do them now. But my number one break through was the stopping of the stomach pains I use to suffer everyday, where I would pretty much be unable to walk and be throwing up constantly. Now no pain. One thing that really helped me was finding out that what was wrong with me wasn't in my head, it had a name and symptoms, and treatment and OTHER people believed it existed. It was like a soothing balm. And of course some of my other problems come from depression and what I think may be other similar disorders or problems, but I have no diagnosis of any of this, except my own studies in Psychology.
While I'm going, a lot of people mention fear of public speaking, which is one thing I have never had a problem with. I had to give a speech in front of 260 people at my state library, with famous authors and all present, and not a problem. My mind turns off and just talks..even in class orals I have never suffered a fear of that. Which surprises and confuses me.
Snerkable
Member
Hi SocialHen. I, like you.. am suffering from social anxiety. I know it's treatable. I used to have OCD and social phobia concurrent, but after medical treatment and focusing every time I got a panicky thought, I was able to eliminate my obsessions COMPLETELY, despite being told I was going to have obsessions for the rest of my life. It took a couple of months, and I used to have obsessions to the extent where I would think about brain cancer every minute of the day...and now it's been 4 years since my last obsession. Of course, I was 14 when I sought treatment, the earlier the better.
How does this relate to social phobia? Well the two are one in the same, they're both perpetuated by irrational thoughts. I'm just now starting on using CBT for treating social phobia, and what I've realized...
1.) We're very sensitive people. Negative evaluation of ANY sort... absolutely terrifies us. We won't task social risks or even dare to say something "provocative" even if it's extremely innocent for fear of hurting another and making them negatively evaluate us.
2.) We think what other people are thinking about us all the time... it's called "magical thinking" and we often think they're thinking we're dump or incompetent or inferior. This is what creates our poor social self-esteem.
Basically, CBT is one of the most effective therapies for anxiety disorders. It's going to take a very strict focus and resolve... but if you stick with it, and really attack your negative thoughts.. I'm sure it's possible to get rid of. I know I won't have social anxiety any more three months from now.
How does this relate to social phobia? Well the two are one in the same, they're both perpetuated by irrational thoughts. I'm just now starting on using CBT for treating social phobia, and what I've realized...
1.) We're very sensitive people. Negative evaluation of ANY sort... absolutely terrifies us. We won't task social risks or even dare to say something "provocative" even if it's extremely innocent for fear of hurting another and making them negatively evaluate us.
2.) We think what other people are thinking about us all the time... it's called "magical thinking" and we often think they're thinking we're dump or incompetent or inferior. This is what creates our poor social self-esteem.
Basically, CBT is one of the most effective therapies for anxiety disorders. It's going to take a very strict focus and resolve... but if you stick with it, and really attack your negative thoughts.. I'm sure it's possible to get rid of. I know I won't have social anxiety any more three months from now.