Having a really hard day

[October]

I have been agoraphobic for a very long time now and I also suffer with major depression. I am 20 years old and I have no friends.

I live alone in my mother's house and am totally dependent on my parents to buy me food and the staples of life. I am on a pension for the depression which is not much but gives me a degree of choice about what I can get.

My parents are both mentally ill and extremely sick people. I am constantly yelled at and abused by my father because he knows I am dependent on him.

I don't know where I can go from here. I can't do anything for myself. Maybe I could do my shopping and things like that but it is just so unbelievably painful that I can't face it.

I have been agoraphobic for so long that my wardrobe basically consists of pajamas. I don't even have anything I could wear in public. I barely even have shoes...

I want to get away from my parents and live somewhere else but am totally dependent on them to take me to a real estate agency and talk to them about it, as well as any referees I have are contacts of my father.

I need to be somewhere where I can order food online and have it delivered but I live in the country and that is non-existent here.

I just feel so stuck. How can I get away from them if I need them to do it? And I barely get any money.

I live in total filth because it is so hard for me to look after myself and clean up.

I take 10mgs of Lexapro everyday which has helped my paranoia at night but maybe I should go the Valium route and get something that will just zombify me.

I feel so helpless and stuck. Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks for reading.

 

[Chod77]

This is hard situation to be in. Sorry to hear about your troubles. The only advice I could give you is to try to go to college. You could get some student loans and financial aid. I know that many colleges offer some classes online, so you wouldn't have to leave your home. You would eventually have to go to classes at campus though. If college seems like it would take to long there are some degrees that only take a year to complete.

Good luck.


(Just take small steps and eventually you can get yourself out.)

 

[Outshined]

^Agreed. About the best hope people like us have is going to college. At least with a degree, you have a pretty decent shot at getting a good paying job, and you'll be able to live on your own. That would be a pretty big boost to your confidence. I know that's easier said than done, but try to focus on just one step at a time. If you really want it to happen, it can, just hang in there dude.

 

[Len]

Sounds like you are in a difficult situation. If you really want to move out maybe there is a social worker in your area who can help you find a hostel or a home somewhere. Perhaps you can admit yourself into hospital and seek help that way. Have a look at charities in your area that may support mental illness and they might be able to help.

Good luck!