Noise_Terrorist
Member
Hi there, I'm kind of glad I found this place, now I can try and vent all my frustrations in one burst. So here goes...
Well, I haven't always been completely shy or a social phobic. When I was little, before I went to secondary school, I didn't really have any big problems with socialising. I had plenty of friends, and was able to make friends with ease. Meeting new people didn't daunt me at all. I was like everyone else. A normally happy kid. In my first year at secondary school, I was still myself. I was assertive, and not afraid to speak my mind. But after a while my confidence was ripped to shreds.
Now, at the age of 18, I've just finished my A-Levels, and I'm taking a year out before going to University. I've told family and friends that I'm taking a year out so I can earn some money to help fund my time at University, but that isn't the reason at all. The reason is that I want to try and regain the social skills that I've lost before I go to Uni, and try and recover my confidence. In other words, I'm just a shadow of the person I once was.
The problem is that, meeting people absolutly terrifies me. Honestly. It is ruining my social life, well, what I have left of a social life anyway. It's like when I started at the Sixth Form, I was event too afraid to start conversations with my classmates, and in many of my classes, I soon became an outcast. Despite that, I still have a core group of about 6 friends, whom I met when I first started secondary school, and they have been my only friends since then, due to my inability to form any new relationships. However, even when I go out out to the pub or whatever with these friends, I still don't feel at ease around them, and often feel uncomfortable and nervous, even though these people are people whom I consider my friends. When I was younger, I never had this problem.
The thing is that, I have no problems going out on my own. When I'm on my own, I suddenly feel much more comfortable, because I don't feel like I have to impress anyone. I often to go to many indie/rock gigs on my own, and I feel completely fine, even though I'm surrounded by people. But the reason I feel fine is that I know I don't have to interact with these people, and that we're normally so cramped together anyway, that I just blend in and go unnoticed. But it;s when I'm forced to talk to and interact with people that I have problems. Like at the moment, I'm supposed to be looking for a job, but I'm terrified of it. Terrified I won't get along with my boss or co-workers, terrified that I'll say the wrong thing. Terrified that others won't like me.
Also, it's when I have to make speeches or get up in fronts of large groups of people that I start to really get nervous too, such as making presentations and stuff. Again, when I was younger, I never had these problems. I used to be very good at Drama in my early years of school, and loved reading out aloud from books to the class. Now, I can't think of anything worse.
The main reason why this social phobia came about, is kind of painful for me to explain, but I'll say it anyway. Since I was little, I've had a fairly large mole grow on the side of my nose. Yeah, we all get moles, large ones too, but I was unlucky enough to have one grow on a visbale part of my face. This wasn't a problem when little, because little kids don't care. They don't judge. However, when I went to secondary school, I soon became the victim of name-calling. Sometimes when I was on the bus, people would even comment on it. It made me feel like a complete outcast, and soon, every last shred of confidence I had vanished. I didn't like meeting new people, because I was afraid of what they might say. I was afraid of going out incase someone random would make a nasty comment in my direction.
Now, I've had the offending mole removed, purely because I was sick to death of it, and also for health reasons, and you wouldn't notice it was there except for a few scars. However, all the insecurities still remain. I'm still very nervous when meeting people, or going out with people. My friends are starting to get annoyed with me, because I don't go out with them as often as they'd like, but they don't seem to understand. I don't want to tell my parents, because my mother would tell me to, "stop being pathetic" (she's a social butterfly, and can't understand people with social problems), and my father would treat me like I've got a disability. I don't want people to know about my social phobia and shyness, because they wouldn't see me as an equal, and I wouldn't want that to happen. Plus, if my mother found out, she'd tell everyone. She can't keep her mouth shut.
So yeah, thatnks for reading. I'm here to try and find out how to get rid of this ailment, so it doesn't ruin my life further.
Thanks!
Well, I haven't always been completely shy or a social phobic. When I was little, before I went to secondary school, I didn't really have any big problems with socialising. I had plenty of friends, and was able to make friends with ease. Meeting new people didn't daunt me at all. I was like everyone else. A normally happy kid. In my first year at secondary school, I was still myself. I was assertive, and not afraid to speak my mind. But after a while my confidence was ripped to shreds.
Now, at the age of 18, I've just finished my A-Levels, and I'm taking a year out before going to University. I've told family and friends that I'm taking a year out so I can earn some money to help fund my time at University, but that isn't the reason at all. The reason is that I want to try and regain the social skills that I've lost before I go to Uni, and try and recover my confidence. In other words, I'm just a shadow of the person I once was.
The problem is that, meeting people absolutly terrifies me. Honestly. It is ruining my social life, well, what I have left of a social life anyway. It's like when I started at the Sixth Form, I was event too afraid to start conversations with my classmates, and in many of my classes, I soon became an outcast. Despite that, I still have a core group of about 6 friends, whom I met when I first started secondary school, and they have been my only friends since then, due to my inability to form any new relationships. However, even when I go out out to the pub or whatever with these friends, I still don't feel at ease around them, and often feel uncomfortable and nervous, even though these people are people whom I consider my friends. When I was younger, I never had this problem.
The thing is that, I have no problems going out on my own. When I'm on my own, I suddenly feel much more comfortable, because I don't feel like I have to impress anyone. I often to go to many indie/rock gigs on my own, and I feel completely fine, even though I'm surrounded by people. But the reason I feel fine is that I know I don't have to interact with these people, and that we're normally so cramped together anyway, that I just blend in and go unnoticed. But it;s when I'm forced to talk to and interact with people that I have problems. Like at the moment, I'm supposed to be looking for a job, but I'm terrified of it. Terrified I won't get along with my boss or co-workers, terrified that I'll say the wrong thing. Terrified that others won't like me.
Also, it's when I have to make speeches or get up in fronts of large groups of people that I start to really get nervous too, such as making presentations and stuff. Again, when I was younger, I never had these problems. I used to be very good at Drama in my early years of school, and loved reading out aloud from books to the class. Now, I can't think of anything worse.
The main reason why this social phobia came about, is kind of painful for me to explain, but I'll say it anyway. Since I was little, I've had a fairly large mole grow on the side of my nose. Yeah, we all get moles, large ones too, but I was unlucky enough to have one grow on a visbale part of my face. This wasn't a problem when little, because little kids don't care. They don't judge. However, when I went to secondary school, I soon became the victim of name-calling. Sometimes when I was on the bus, people would even comment on it. It made me feel like a complete outcast, and soon, every last shred of confidence I had vanished. I didn't like meeting new people, because I was afraid of what they might say. I was afraid of going out incase someone random would make a nasty comment in my direction.
Now, I've had the offending mole removed, purely because I was sick to death of it, and also for health reasons, and you wouldn't notice it was there except for a few scars. However, all the insecurities still remain. I'm still very nervous when meeting people, or going out with people. My friends are starting to get annoyed with me, because I don't go out with them as often as they'd like, but they don't seem to understand. I don't want to tell my parents, because my mother would tell me to, "stop being pathetic" (she's a social butterfly, and can't understand people with social problems), and my father would treat me like I've got a disability. I don't want people to know about my social phobia and shyness, because they wouldn't see me as an equal, and I wouldn't want that to happen. Plus, if my mother found out, she'd tell everyone. She can't keep her mouth shut.
So yeah, thatnks for reading. I'm here to try and find out how to get rid of this ailment, so it doesn't ruin my life further.
Thanks!
