Hi,
I´m a 27 year old girl living in Germany and I got a lot of problems with myself like so many out there. If I only knew where those problems come from. I suppose some are born like this while others are created. Anyway, I´ve always been shy and never talked much. When I was a kid I used to have a few good friends but those days are over. Now only one person is left and that person lives on the other side of the atlantic ocean. How pathetic is that? Plus I´ve never even met this person which is going to change next month though. This terrifies me to a great extent since this will cause a lot of problems for me who´s suffering from anxiety issues.
I started to stutter a while ago. Don´t know where that came form all off a sudden. Happens when I´m nervous, which happens a lot, and also when I´m simply talking to co-workers or to my family. I hate being looked at, that´s why I tend not to talk much. I feel ugly and there´s not a single thing about myself I like. I´m insecure, I don´t have much self esteem and most of the time I´m wearing a mask and playing a role. At work I have to focus real hard so I don´t stutter and make a fool out of myself.
I feel lonely most of the time which in the end is my own fault but I don´t know what to do about this. It´s hard to open up and who wants someone who´s got too many issues to cope with? Sometimes I think I don´t have the right to feel this way about myself. There are people with real problems. This makes me feel even worse.
Anyway, to sum it all up: I hate myself for not being able to live like "normal" people do. With friends and relationships and all that. I´ve only talked about those issues once since I don´t want to bore people with my silly pathetic life. Hope I didn bore you people too much. Feel free to send me messages. I´d like to finally talk and listen to people who share the same problems.
Thanks for this forum, it´s good to know that you´re not alone.
I´m a 27 year old girl living in Germany and I got a lot of problems with myself like so many out there. If I only knew where those problems come from. I suppose some are born like this while others are created. Anyway, I´ve always been shy and never talked much. When I was a kid I used to have a few good friends but those days are over. Now only one person is left and that person lives on the other side of the atlantic ocean. How pathetic is that? Plus I´ve never even met this person which is going to change next month though. This terrifies me to a great extent since this will cause a lot of problems for me who´s suffering from anxiety issues.
I started to stutter a while ago. Don´t know where that came form all off a sudden. Happens when I´m nervous, which happens a lot, and also when I´m simply talking to co-workers or to my family. I hate being looked at, that´s why I tend not to talk much. I feel ugly and there´s not a single thing about myself I like. I´m insecure, I don´t have much self esteem and most of the time I´m wearing a mask and playing a role. At work I have to focus real hard so I don´t stutter and make a fool out of myself.
I feel lonely most of the time which in the end is my own fault but I don´t know what to do about this. It´s hard to open up and who wants someone who´s got too many issues to cope with? Sometimes I think I don´t have the right to feel this way about myself. There are people with real problems. This makes me feel even worse.
Anyway, to sum it all up: I hate myself for not being able to live like "normal" people do. With friends and relationships and all that. I´ve only talked about those issues once since I don´t want to bore people with my silly pathetic life. Hope I didn bore you people too much. Feel free to send me messages. I´d like to finally talk and listen to people who share the same problems.
Thanks for this forum, it´s good to know that you´re not alone.
