philly2bits
Well-known member
He's free to give his opinion. If you disagree then feel free to give a counter point. But keep it civil and respectful.
Help! Hocd or actually gay???
- Thread starter rosiee
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He's free to give his opinion. If you disagree then feel free to give a counter point. But keep it civil and respectful.
Iseesky
Well-known member
As far as I'm concerned, you're born gay or a lesbian. From a young age you're confused and attracted to members of the opposite sex. When your girl friends are thinking about little boys, a lesbian would be thinking about little girls and would be confused as to why she's doing so.
The fact that up until you learned about homosexuality you liked guys leads me to believe you're straight and you're only scared of being a lesbian.
I wouldn't say you're bi either.
Seems like hocd to me.
The fact that up until you learned about homosexuality you liked guys leads me to believe you're straight and you're only scared of being a lesbian.
I wouldn't say you're bi either.
Seems like hocd to me.
SPV
Well-known member
I agree with him.
Basically it'll be gone with due time. Try to find something that'll distract you. best yet, (though this might sound a bit weird, but could help) if you lay off masturbation for a while, say a week or more, your sex drive will boost. By then, you'll sure as hell be confident as to whom you're sexually attracted to. xD
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
If you were a lesbian, you would know it and you would accept it, eventually. I agree with this.
Only you know whether you are a lesbian or whether you are straight. Nobody here can tell you, especially just by reading a short paragraph. I wouldn't decide your sexuality on whether you are attracted to male or female bodies sexually. I'm a lesbian but I still am attracted to males sexually, I think it's just nature, but I know that i'm a lesbian because I can't imagine kissing a guy and guys don't give me those butterflies. Is it a guy or a girl that is able to walk into a room and make you tongue tied and 'fluttery'?
Either way it is not something to worry about, please don't stress about it too much. Whatever your nature, it is what it is supposed to be. I can't tell you how many nights I cried when I first discovered I was a lesbian at 13, it must have been every day for a year, and the thing is I don't remember why I was upset. Whether you see beauty in men or women, we are still capable of seeing and living in the beauty of another person. Listen to your body and try to accept whichever direction it takes you
You mentioned you didn't feel comfortable to go ahead with kissing/sex with this boyfriend of yours. Being nervous is normal. It could be a defence mechanism to postpone that kind of physical contact. I know you had these thoughts before as well but sometimes when someone isn't mature enough for this kind of intmacy they go through "small crisis" to stop themselves from making that move. Even convincing yourself that you might be a lesbian. If you had been a lesbian you would know it and not just worry about it.
meme
Well-known member
i am an open bisexual with severe ocd. for years i thought i was straight, but worried i might be bisexual or gay. i would get aroused by women, but made excuses for it, like maybe i wasnt turned on by HER but rather her shirt or something. sexuality is not easy for everyone to figure out and anyone who tells you, "if you are gay, you would know" has no idea what they are talking about. sexuality is fluid, not clear cut. my advice is to try to separate your thoughts a little bit. like, if you aroused by a member of the same sex, and then feel anxious, try to figure out why. like, if you are obsessing about the thought, are you obsessing because it brings out your fantasy or anxiety? and is the anxiety there because you are obsessing or because you are feeling uncomfortable by your thoughts; maybe both? things can get all mixed up and things take time. in addition, ive had sexual obsessions not related to my sexual identity and they made me very confused because i was left thinking, what is an obsession and what is real? what causes my joy and what causes me anxiety. give yourself time. message me if you want.
Kingfisher
Member
this definitely sounds like HOCD. you're not gay you're just having anxiety about it.if you stop worrying about it thoughts will calm down. it is natural to have a couple of gay thoughts here and there. Everybody does. But the more you obsess about it your mind will start playing tricks with you. this is how HOCD works.
Flanscho
Well-known member
You are just 16 years old. There are still many hormons coursing through your veins that are confusing to you. 
My advice: don't force yourself into a category. Why do you want to fulfill the role of a hetero- or homosexual? Why do you want to limit yourself? What you call yourself is irrelevant, in the end. The only important thing, in this specific matter, is who makes you most happy and whom you are most attracted to.
Just be open to everything. If a relationship with a guy happens and you are happy: nice. If one with a girl happens: nice too. Just let things happen and settle for what makes you most happy.
Trying to force yourself into a role is the most contraproductive thing you can do.
My advice: don't force yourself into a category. Why do you want to fulfill the role of a hetero- or homosexual? Why do you want to limit yourself? What you call yourself is irrelevant, in the end. The only important thing, in this specific matter, is who makes you most happy and whom you are most attracted to.
Just be open to everything. If a relationship with a guy happens and you are happy: nice. If one with a girl happens: nice too. Just let things happen and settle for what makes you most happy.
Trying to force yourself into a role is the most contraproductive thing you can do.
Kingfisher
Member
this is classic HOCD. Being gay is not something that is triggered by a comment from another person but anxiety can be triggered on the spot. your anxiety is telling you your gay. it is playing tricks with your head. try not to worry about it for a few days or few weeks and see if it subsides. your anxiety is making you obsess about it.
Kingfisher
Member
if she doesn't read it anymore it is because people here are not helpful. She needs help with HOCD not sexual advice.
I had HOCD for several years until it finally went away.
I had HOCD for several years until it finally went away.
