Uix
Member
hey everyone, i'm new as you can see. i'm 19, male, from canada. I just realised lately that i have this disorder. I'm kind of suprised i didn't really know until now, for a long while i thought i was just insecure, than for another while i thought i just had a fear of rejection, which i do i just didn't realise it was more than that, than when i read about this disorder, i knew i had it. i can relate to everything about it. I only get involved socially if i know i will be accepted, any chance of being rejected and it's not worth the risk and i just won't bother trying, unless i'm forced into the situation or i force myself into it, than i just get really really nervouse and can't be myself which makes me want to get out of the situation as fast as possible. Unless i fit in and feel cimfortable being me which rarely happens. with family it's the same way, if i'm going to be around cousins or uncles i can't be myself anymore like i used to be able to a long time ago. I just want to get in, make my good impression, than get out. even though half the time i manage to eff up the impression because i'm so nervous i can't relax and ill say the wrong thing in the wrong way lol. Another weird thing is i find my problems and the way i do things very amusing, i was literaly laughing when i was thinking about the stuff i was typing. it's not only rejection i fear, it's judgement, i always get the feeling after doing something weird or unusual that ill be judged by them for it, which hurts. The only people i don't have any problems talking to are people are really close to me(brother, parents, closest friends) or people i've known for a really long time that i havent lost contact with.
i've been having a really hard time lately because i've been going through a breakup. being alone and not being socially involved never really bothered me that much, i always found things to do that made me happy. it wasn't until i lost someone i loved so much that i felt so bad and lonely. At this point i wish i had someone who was close to me who i could share my feelings with.
anyway i've always wanted to meet someone who has this or knows what it feels like. so i hope i get to know some people here. btw i find it much easier to talk to people through text rather than in person, and never had a problem being myself on the internet unless i was on webcam or something.
hopefully you guys can relate to me in alot of ways, thanks for reading
i've been having a really hard time lately because i've been going through a breakup. being alone and not being socially involved never really bothered me that much, i always found things to do that made me happy. it wasn't until i lost someone i loved so much that i felt so bad and lonely. At this point i wish i had someone who was close to me who i could share my feelings with.
anyway i've always wanted to meet someone who has this or knows what it feels like. so i hope i get to know some people here. btw i find it much easier to talk to people through text rather than in person, and never had a problem being myself on the internet unless i was on webcam or something.
hopefully you guys can relate to me in alot of ways, thanks for reading
