I AM SOOO STUPID!!!!
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- Thread starter Psychedelicious
- Start date
silentbutdeadly
Well-known member
I can't help you figure out if you have APD or not, but I just wanted to say that based on what you've written, you seem like a very intelligent person.
recluse
Well-known member
hey,
i would say that EVERYTHING on that list apart from the seeing parked cars move and switching topics quickly/not focusing is social phobia. I have most of those things on that list and i would class myself as social phobic anyways. I don't believe in 'avoidant personality disorder' being any different from strong social phobia. They always seem to take any problem and make up a 'personality disorder' version of it.
If you are seeing unreal things alot (the parked cars example) you might want to check out something called 'derealisation' but i could be completely wrong in that.
I am beginning to see social phobia as the 'i must impress people' complex on overload. Everyone has this complex but ours has just got outta control. So you wanting attentions and compliments from people would make sense. I have the exact same thing. We're more concerned with impressing people than having a good time ourselves. But the mad thing is we then convince ourselves that we never do impress people and always get bad reactions. Because it is so important to us to impress people, when we apparently don't we feel like a failure and beat ourselves up. I'm beginning to see that the only way to win this game is to walk off the court and stop playing.
You say you want to be a different person where everyone notices you and you just naturally get all this attention. This fits social phobia. I have this too! You practice conversations in your head and go over them afterwards...that's just social phobia. I used to do that ALL the time. I can identify with most things you say! The fear that people are staring at you all the time is classic social phobia not just general paranoia. Feeling inferior to people and avoiding talking to people is social phobia.
Sometimes when you're so desperate to achieve something (ie make friends, impress people, get noticed) you end up beating yourself up alot in your head and thinking desperate thoughts. It can end up like someone shouting at you 24/7. Sometimes you have to give yourself credit for trying and not be so hard on yourself. Beating yourself up about it only increases the shouting and emotions of desperation and failure etc etc.
i would say that EVERYTHING on that list apart from the seeing parked cars move and switching topics quickly/not focusing is social phobia. I have most of those things on that list and i would class myself as social phobic anyways. I don't believe in 'avoidant personality disorder' being any different from strong social phobia. They always seem to take any problem and make up a 'personality disorder' version of it.
If you are seeing unreal things alot (the parked cars example) you might want to check out something called 'derealisation' but i could be completely wrong in that.
I am beginning to see social phobia as the 'i must impress people' complex on overload. Everyone has this complex but ours has just got outta control. So you wanting attentions and compliments from people would make sense. I have the exact same thing. We're more concerned with impressing people than having a good time ourselves. But the mad thing is we then convince ourselves that we never do impress people and always get bad reactions. Because it is so important to us to impress people, when we apparently don't we feel like a failure and beat ourselves up. I'm beginning to see that the only way to win this game is to walk off the court and stop playing.
You say you want to be a different person where everyone notices you and you just naturally get all this attention. This fits social phobia. I have this too! You practice conversations in your head and go over them afterwards...that's just social phobia. I used to do that ALL the time. I can identify with most things you say! The fear that people are staring at you all the time is classic social phobia not just general paranoia. Feeling inferior to people and avoiding talking to people is social phobia.
Sometimes when you're so desperate to achieve something (ie make friends, impress people, get noticed) you end up beating yourself up alot in your head and thinking desperate thoughts. It can end up like someone shouting at you 24/7. Sometimes you have to give yourself credit for trying and not be so hard on yourself. Beating yourself up about it only increases the shouting and emotions of desperation and failure etc etc.
reply
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Johnlocks
New member
Re: reply
Psychedelicious, I'm almost 21 and I've been struggling with those problems for as long as I can remember. It has kept me from doing many things I've wanted to. I go to parties and can't enjoy them. People show that they like me or that they're friends with me and I don't understand why. I feel like I've never truly been myself around people. I'm incapable. I am now just starting to see a shrink, hopefully she'll nip it in the butt. trust me buddy, you want to get it taken care of now. College has been nothing for me, my whole life has been nothing. No matter how much I succeed at something, I'm never fulfilled. The only thing I have is to hold onto hope that the future will bring happiness. Never happens, always uncomfortable, always lonely. The thing is, I like myself when by myself. Anyway, you need to get it taken care of now, so you have a bright future to look foward to. Good luck
Psychedelicious, I'm almost 21 and I've been struggling with those problems for as long as I can remember. It has kept me from doing many things I've wanted to. I go to parties and can't enjoy them. People show that they like me or that they're friends with me and I don't understand why. I feel like I've never truly been myself around people. I'm incapable. I am now just starting to see a shrink, hopefully she'll nip it in the butt. trust me buddy, you want to get it taken care of now. College has been nothing for me, my whole life has been nothing. No matter how much I succeed at something, I'm never fulfilled. The only thing I have is to hold onto hope that the future will bring happiness. Never happens, always uncomfortable, always lonely. The thing is, I like myself when by myself. Anyway, you need to get it taken care of now, so you have a bright future to look foward to. Good luck
woah, that sounds really hard and I hope that it gets better for you. You're right I really should try to get this taken care of or at least slightly under control NOW or soon. I really don't want to live with this for the rest of my life.
Warlock
Well-known member
You probably don't have Avoidant Personality Disorder by virtue of the fact that you are 15. I thought that I had Avoidant Personality Disorder for a long time, but I didn't. I may have been in the process of developing the disorder, but really it is something that doesn't fully develop until later, and you can't tell if you have depression, social phobia, and other things going on very easily.
All your symptoms could be from another disorder or disorders that it is likely you do have. They aren't supposed to diagnose it until atleast 16, or 17, but some places don't even consider personality disorders until 18 or 21. My point is that its extremely difficult to tell, and you probably don't have it.
All your symptoms could be from another disorder or disorders that it is likely you do have. They aren't supposed to diagnose it until atleast 16, or 17, but some places don't even consider personality disorders until 18 or 21. My point is that its extremely difficult to tell, and you probably don't have it.
mesc000
Active member
I have experienced a lot of what you wrote and as I got a bit older I learned to handle myself a little bit better in terms of dealing with people. Mind you, I'm in college right now and there's things and situations that make me want to hide under my bed 
but you're still very young and that makes it easier to change a bit of your behavior since your conscious of your avoidant-personality like traits. .. sometimes as painful as it is, you gotta take a deep breath and fall into those dreaded social situations and at least have some kind of exposure to them. ... or get a cat.
but you're still very young and that makes it easier to change a bit of your behavior since your conscious of your avoidant-personality like traits. .. sometimes as painful as it is, you gotta take a deep breath and fall into those dreaded social situations and at least have some kind of exposure to them. ... or get a cat.