How are you feeling?

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I swear I must be the only Christian on this entire forum...this is insulting you know that?

I did a poll on that once. Here: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/dawkins-scale-theist-atheist-52367/

Anyway I don't understand how others not sharing your beliefs is insulting. Please explain?

 

[Graeme1988]

Charities as in giving money for a cause? You should check it out.

Yes. Though, the only one I could find with help services my area is this one.

Support In Mind Scotland | Home

It just a few miles away, like a couple of towns from where I live. So I don't know if I'd be able to attend regularly. Since would require me getting the bus into town everyday or every week or so.

That's messed up. No offense but did she get help for hoarding?

Maybe try being assertive with her, but on other hand I know it hard for me to be assertive with sad and possible avpd.

Nope, my mum's very much in denial about her hoarding problem. As she is about my depression and anxiety issues. Tried be as assertive is I can, but I just got accused of being a bully - so I've just gave trying to make her see she has a problem.

Wow, why do they use you giving them credit against you?

So, they can manipulate me into doing what they want most of the time. Calling me ungrateful when I make a criticism of them, or if they do something to annoy me and speak up about it. They'll call me selfish when I refuse to go along with what they want, simple because I don't feel up to doing it. Mainly to do with family gathering.

What is cerebral palsy?

Without going into much detail, here's what it is.

Cerebral palsy

Cerebral palsy (CP) is a group of permanent movement disorders that appear in early childhood. Signs and symptoms vary among people. Often, symptoms include poor coordination, stiff muscles, weak muscles, and tremors. There may be problems with sensation, vision, hearing, swallowing, and speaking. Often babies with cerebral palsy do not roll over, sit, crawl, or walk as early as other children of their age. Difficulty with the ability to think or reason and seizures each occurs in about one third of people with CP. While the symptoms may get more noticeable over the first few years of life, the underlying problems do not worsen over time.

What do you mean it is a bit rich?

Just that it's a bit hypocritical of my mum to say she couldn't cope without me when she spends most of her time being controlling and bossing me around. Telling me what I can and can't do.

Why does she treat you with less respect?

:idontknow: Don't know, never really got an answer when I brought up this issue with her, myself. Just silence. I think it might have a lot to do with the fact I look exactly like my dad, who treated my mum horribly when they were together. Y'know, her projecting a lotta how she felt about my dad onto me?

Again, I've never gotten an answer as to why I'm treated the way I am.

Going back to being assertive, you should tell her how you feel maybe if you can I know it is hard.

Well, considering I always get the silent treatment, there's no point tell her how I feel. Plus, it's kinda difficult since the first and last time I tried opening up to her about my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts, she told to kill myself if that's how I felt.

Well my family member's friend didn't say it to me directly but to my family member and then my family member told me that. Yea it was kind of mean but I know I have to change my voice I don't want to be self conscious.

I'm the same, sadly. I don't know if I'll ever gain the confidence to ever change my voice.

What do you mean by matter of fact at times? So you think it is funny too?

Just that I'm quite straightforward when I speak, very much to the point and that's it, y'know? And I guess my monotone voice can make quite funny times. Even though, I don't find it funny all the time.

It's quite frustrating when I'm actually being serious, and my family think I'm just having a laugh.

Okay I sent a chat message.

:thumbup:

 

[Hot_Tamale]

I did a poll on that once. Here: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/dawkins-scale-theist-atheist-52367/

Anyway I don't understand how others not sharing your beliefs is insulting. Please explain?

I misunderstood and viewed them as attacks on something I believed in, I felt the need to stick up for myself which in hindsight might not have been the wisest course of action. People should have the right to post whatever they believe.

 

[Megaten]

I did a poll on that once. Here: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/dawkins-scale-theist-atheist-52367/

Anyway I don't understand how others not sharing your beliefs is insulting. Please explain?

Others not sharing the same beliefs are one thing. But when a comedian pokes fun at it, it kinda makes a fool out of people that believe in the supernatural. Its kinda like theyre insulting a persons intellect because they've chosen to believe that stuff.

Like that whole flying spaghetti monster thing. Ive lost my faith, but when i had it, that meme made me so mad. What i believed in felt extremely real and personal, and people were basically saying "oh you like that stuff? Well thats stupid."

 

[Marc7]

Yes. Though, the only one I could find with help services my area is this one.

Support In Mind Scotland | Home

It just a few miles away, like a couple of towns from where I live. So I don't know if I'd be able to attend regularly. Since would require me getting the bus into town everyday or every week or so.

Why can't you take a bus into town everyday or every week? Just curious. Yea it is a program like that.

Nope, my mum's very much in denial about her hoarding problem. As she is about my depression and anxiety issues. Tried be as assertive is I can, but I just got accused of being a bully - so I've just gave trying to make her see she has a problem.

Maybe you should keep on trying.

So, they can manipulate me into doing what they want most of the time. Calling me ungrateful when I make a criticism of them, or if they do something to annoy me and speak up about it. They'll call me selfish when I refuse to go along with what they want, simple because I don't feel up to doing it. Mainly to do with family gathering.

That's wrong to do that.

Without going into much detail, here's what it is.

Cerebral palsy

Cerebral palsy (CP) is a group of permanent movement disorders that appear in early childhood. Signs and symptoms vary among people. Often, symptoms include poor coordination, stiff muscles, weak muscles, and tremors. There may be problems with sensation, vision, hearing, swallowing, and speaking. Often babies with cerebral palsy do not roll over, sit, crawl, or walk as early as other children of their age. Difficulty with the ability to think or reason and seizures each occurs in about one third of people with CP. While the symptoms may get more noticeable over the first few years of life, the underlying problems do not worsen over time.

What symptoms or problems do you have with cerebral palsy? Did it worsen over time?

Just that it's a bit hypocritical of my mum to say she couldn't cope without me when she spends most of her time being controlling and bossing me around. Telling me what I can and can't do.

Maybe she doesn't realize that she is controlling and bossing you around. Or does she?

:idontknow: Don't know, never really got an answer when I brought up this issue with her, myself. Just silence. I think it might have a lot to do with the fact I look exactly like my dad, who treated my mum horribly when they were together. Y'know, her projecting a lotta how she felt about my dad onto me?

Again, I've never gotten an answer as to why I'm treated the way I am.

That is probably the reason she treats you with disrespect.

Well, considering I always get the silent treatment, there's no point tell her how I feel. Plus, it's kinda difficult since the first and last time I tried opening up to her about my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts, she told to kill myself if that's how I felt.

Same thing happen to me but I don't know if I was that serious about killing myself though at the time. That family member doesn't think anything wrong with me unfortunately.

I'm the same, sadly. I don't know if I'll ever gain the confidence to ever change my voice.

I don't know if I will ever get the motivation to change it though.

Just that I'm quite straightforward when I speak, very much to the point and that's it, y'know? And I guess my monotone voice can make quite funny times. Even though, I don't find it funny all the time.

It's quite frustrating when I'm actually being serious, and my family think I'm just having a laugh.

So you find it funny sometimes? My monotone voice is very frustrating when I want to be assertive or serious but I can't be because of my voice tone :kickingmyself:.

:thumbup:

Ok I'll respond.

 

[Graeme1988]

Why can't you take a bus into town everyday or every week? Just curious. Yea it is a program like that.

Haven't renewed my bus pass in years, so I'd need to go through the whole process of getting that renewed. But mainly it's a time thing. Since the bus schedule here has buses running at out times - like quarter past. half past or quarter to. So I'd need leave early enough if I want to making to the bus. Which could take me a little while in my wheelchair.

Then there's a chance I might not find the place, since I'm hopeless with remember directions.

Maybe you should keep on trying.

Don't know, man. My mum tends to get annoyed with me if I persistantly keep going on at her. And lash out at me, verbally. But then she'll snap at me for asking her a seemingly innocent question, like if I misplace something and ask her if she's seen it.

That's wrong to do that.

Yeah, but they don't see it like that. They're doing it because they care about and love me. At least, that's what they'd like me to believe.

What symptoms or problems do you have with cerebral palsy? Did it worsen over time?

Mainly the mobility issues, the muscle spasms and a slight learning disability. with being born premature. And, yes, it started to worsen when I hit adolescents.

Maybe she doesn't realize that she is controlling and bossing you around. Or does she?

Oh, she's fully aware. My mum even admitted it in front of me and my oldest sister. But they, unlike me, just laughed it off as caring too much. But she'll say she doesn't realise she doing to it in an attempt to make me feel sorry for her. Which is a bit hard to do, when she tends to make excuses for her need to be in control and get things her way.

That is probably the reason she treats you with disrespect.

Aye, it probably is. Make sense since all she did was bad-mouth my dad til he made contact with me in my teens. But that didn't stop her from projecting her bitter, miserable view of relationships onto me. :sad: Yet, my family are surprised I'm still single. h:

Same thing happen to me but I don't know if I was that serious about killing myself though at the time. That family member doesn't think anything wrong with me unfortunately

.

Well, I actually was considering suicide when my mum made her remark. Mainly because I was struggle to cope with somethings in my life at the time, and I had no-one to turn to.

I don't know if I will ever get the motivation to change it though.

Same here. :sad:

So you find it funny sometimes? My monotone voice is very frustrating when I want to be assertive or serious but I can't be because of my voice tone :kickingmyself:.

Only when I've said something funny without realising or thinking about what I've said. Other than that, I feel just as frustrated by my monotonous voice, as you are with yours. Plus, my family seem to find humour in my attempts to be assertive.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I misunderstood and viewed them as attacks on something I believed in, I felt the need to stick up for myself which in hindsight might not have been the wisest course of action. People should have the right to post whatever they believe.

D'oh! I just now saw there was a post with a video about religion (haven't watched it because of bandwidth issues). :blushing:

 

[Marc7]

Haven't renewed my bus pass in years, so I'd need to go through the whole process of getting that renewed. But mainly it's a time thing. Since the bus schedule here has buses running at out times - like quarter past. half past or quarter to. So I'd need leave early enough if I want to making to the bus. Which could take me a little while in my wheelchair.

Then there's a chance I might not find the place, since I'm hopeless with remember directions.

I recommend you renew it but you don't have too. What do you mean by because of it being a quarter past, half past, or quarter past you need to leave early? I understand.

Do you have google maps or a gps?

Don't know, man. My mum tends to get annoyed with me if I persistantly keep going on at her. And lash out at me, verbally. But then she'll snap at me for asking her a seemingly innocent question, like if I misplace something and ask her if she's seen it.

So she snaps at you if you go persistently at her or for no reason?

Yeah, but they don't see it like that. They're doing it because they care about and love me. At least, that's what they'd like me to believe.

Do you feel they love you and care about you?

Mainly the mobility issues, the muscle spasms and a slight learning disability. with being born premature. And, yes, it started to worsen when I hit adolescents.

What type of mobility issues and what slight learning disability do you have?

Oh, she's fully aware. My mum even admitted it in front of me and my oldest sister. But they, unlike me, just laughed it off as caring too much. But she'll say she doesn't realise she doing to it in an attempt to make me feel sorry for her. Which is a bit hard to do, when she tends to make excuses for her need to be in control and get things her way.

Oh, then let her know again if you haven't.

Aye, it probably is. Make sense since all she did was bad-mouth my dad til he made contact with me in my teens. But that didn't stop her from projecting her bitter, miserable view of relationships onto me. :sad: Yet, my family are surprised I'm still single. h:

He made contact with you how? By phone? I'm single too but for different reasons.

Well, I actually was considering suicide when my mum made her remark. Mainly because I was struggle to cope with somethings in my life at the time, and I had no-one to turn to.

Sorry that you felt that way at the time. You said you were going to look up some therapy so that's good.

Same here. :sad:

I'm screwed then.

Only when I've said something funny without realising or thinking about what I've said. Other than that, I feel just as frustrated by my monotonous voice, as you are with yours. Plus, my family seem to find humour in my attempts to be assertive.

Hopefully when I get the motivation I will change my voice.

 

[grapevine]

I feel very upset and overly in anxeity attack right now. I dont want to do what Ive been doing anymore. I hate going over to my partners place - I hate his sister and I hate that mentality and her what ever it is about her I just need my own identity back and my values and my own life and I hate that it all just spurs my bdd and that I have to sink low and I hate it that I have to do so much and I just right now for once in my life for ages actually in my own room by myself and having this big much needed break down.

 

[Kiwong]

I dislike summer. I take photos and there are people there. I prefer winter when I go to a beach or headland and I have it all to myself.

 

[Graeme1988]

I recommend you renew it but you don't have too. What do you mean by because of it being a quarter past, half past, or quarter past you need to leave early? I understand.

Because the bus timetable is bit weird here. So, I'd have to leave in plenty of time to ensure getting picked up.

Do you have google maps or a gps?

Yeah, but I'll need to upgrade the Google Maps app on my phone.

So she snaps at you if you go persistently at her or for no reason?

Usually both, but it depends what mood she's in. And she doesn't always tell me how she's feeling. So I usually just brace myself for the worst, to be honest.

Do you feel they love you and care about you?

Sometimes. But they tend to huv this impression of me as standoffish due being a quite a tall, big built lad. My mum tends to be quite cold n' distance whenever I try and engage her in everyday conversation.

What type of mobility issues and what slight learning disability do you have?

Mobility issues just affect my legs, and I'm crap at maths. Also, I'm not great at getting things right away, sometimes.

Oh, then let her know again if you haven't.

I do, but the message doesn't seem to be getting through. Like I do tell my mum outright to stop talking to be like that, and to stop telling me what to do. But she just scowls at me - cuz how dare I talk to and treat her like that.

He made contact with you how? By phone? I'm single too but for different reasons.

No, ma dad actually got in touch via one of my step-siblings. They just showed at my secondary school one day during my lunch break. I got call to the school's front reception desk and handed a piece of paper from one of my step-brothers.

"Your dad wants you to get in touch. Here's his phone number. Bye"​

But my dad and I never got along...

Sorry that you felt that way at the time. You said you were going to look up some therapy so that's good.

Yeah, I'll see how it goes. Even though, I don't feel too good about keeping it from my family. Since, ma mum in particular discouraged me from seeking help for my depression and anxiety when I was 16. Her reason? It didn't work for her, so it won't work for me - sound reasoning there, like.

I'm screwed then. Hopefully when I get the motivation I will change my voice.

Not necessarily. It's just, with me, I'm having to overcome the perception others have of me because of my disability and my overall appearance. As well as not having any positive male role models in my life, and constantly being told what to do all the time. :kickingmyself:

 

[Graeme1988]

Just got a letter through about my end of year checkup about my surgery back in January.
Showed the letter to my oldest sister, and we have to reschedule since she can't drive me to the appointment this Friday. :kickingmyself:
And the appointment is at 3:20pm so there's no guarantee I'd make on time going by bus.

 

[dannyboy65]

I bought my girlfriend a Christmas present yesterday. I'm not fond with the holiday but I guess I still buy presents for people, could care less if I get any. I bought a set of necklaces with a puzzle piece pendent to represent our autism and how we connect together, I then had it engraved with my name on one and hers on the other and on the back of both in a heart it has the date that we started dating.

Although I don't like Christmas I'm excited to give it to her and see if she likes it.

 

[defiance]

Love having a stupid,egocentric,ungrateful,meathead of a sibling. I could write a book on how much disgust and hatred I feel towards him and that man I am biologically related to. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and pretend that I am grateful to be alive.:kickingmyself:

 

[Marc7]

Because the bus timetable is bit weird here. So, I'd have to leave in plenty of time to ensure getting picked up.

Oh I see. Do you think you will try the program if your transportation is good?

Yeah, but I'll need to upgrade the Google Maps app on my phone.

Okay.

Usually both, but it depends what mood she's in. And she doesn't always tell me how she's feeling. So I usually just brace myself for the worst, to be honest.

Wow that is messed up.

Sometimes. But they tend to huv this impression of me as standoffish due being a quite a tall, big built lad. My mum tends to be quite cold n' distance whenever I try and engage her in everyday conversation.

She is cold and distanced because of what?

Mobility issues just affect my legs, and I'm crap at maths. Also, I'm not great at getting things right away, sometimes.

So you have trouble walking?

I do, but the message doesn't seem to be getting through. Like I do tell my mum outright to stop talking to be like that, and to stop telling me what to do. But she just scowls at me - cuz how dare I talk to and treat her like that.

Have you tried doing the same thing she does to you to her?

No, ma dad actually got in touch via one of my step-siblings. They just showed at my secondary school one day during my lunch break. I got call to the school's front reception desk and handed a piece of paper from one of my step-brothers.

"Your dad wants you to get in touch. Here's his phone number. Bye"​

But my dad and I never got along...

How much siblings do you have? If this is too personal you can tell me in the chat message. So you stopped having contact with him after that?

Yeah, I'll see how it goes. Even though, I don't feel too good about keeping it from my family. Since, ma mum in particular discouraged me from seeking help for my depression and anxiety when I was 16. Her reason? It didn't work for her, so it won't work for me - sound reasoning there, like.

Yea that is not a good reason.

Not necessarily. It's just, with me, I'm having to overcome the perception others have of me because of my disability and my overall appearance. As well as not having any positive male role models in my life, and constantly being told what to do all the time. :kickingmyself:

You know I'm talking about I'm screwed? Or you're just giving your own experience? For me I have to make myself look better, change my voice, and not be self conscious.

 

[Marc7]

Very frustrated :kickingmyself: I can't talk to people I want to talk to.

 

[Graeme1988]

Oh I see. Do you think you will try the program if your transportation is good?

Yeah, don't how I'd cope going out on my own, like. Since my sister or mum usually accompany. More to keep me safe than reassurance for me, like.

She is cold and distanced because of what?

Well, and these are her words - "I'm too smart for her to converse with". And intimidating due to my size and bushy beard. Despite both my mum and I having similar educational experiences - ie. secondary/high school dropouts with nothing to show for it.

So you have trouble walking?

Yes, my lower body is where most of the problems lie - keeping my balance, walking as straight as I can. The learn disability isn't that bad, though. But still noticable at times.

Have you tried doing the same thing she does to you to her?

Oh aye, she feckin' hates it. Go off in the huff. Ah did it once, she didnae talk to me for a couple days, except to ask me what I wanted for supper.

So you stopped having contact with him after that?

Well, no. Actually, ah wus'nae too keen on getting to know my dad to begin with. Since ma mum and sisters were all telling me how much of an b@$%@*! he was. And tell me I wus just like 'em whenever I stood up for myself. I'd even said to my mum after my dad and I's first "reunion", that the relationship wouldn't work.

Anyway, I actually cut contact with him after this huge row. Cuz everytime ma dad would visit, he'd always nag and try to pressure me into coming to visit my other step-siblings. Which wasn't summit I had much interest in doing. And he constantly go on about wanting me to get good grades and do an accounts degree at university/college. Since he was wanting me to help in running his local pharmacy.

So, I just cut contact with him in early to mid-20s once I realised it was never about getting to know me after not being there for 14 years, it was about my dad wanting something from me and living up to his high standards.

You know I'm talking about I'm screwed? Or you're just giving your own experience? For me I have to make myself look better, change my voice, and not be self conscious.

I know, just giving my experience. And trying to give some perspective. Give a wee bit hope, as we've all got obsticles to overcome.

 

[Graeme1988]

Very frustrated :kickingmyself: I can't talk to people I want to talk to.

Why, who do you want to talk to? Just curious.

 

[Graeme1988]

Nervous as f**k about this final hospital check-up. Hope I don't end up crying while I recall everything? :crying: Cuz I'm feelin' quite emotional about it.

 

[Marc7]

Yeah, don't how I'd cope going out on my own, like. Since my sister or mum usually accompany. More to keep me safe than reassurance for me, like.

So you need help and need your wheelchair to get around to be safe? Not saying it in a condescending way btw.

Well, and these are her words - "I'm too smart for her to converse with". And intimidating due to my size and bushy beard. Despite both my mum and I having similar educational experiences - ie. secondary/high school dropouts with nothing to show for it.

Did your mother say you're intimidating because of your size and bushy beard? That's messed up she says she is too smart to converse with you.

Yes, my lower body is where most of the problems lie - keeping my balance, walking as straight as I can. The learn disability isn't that bad, though. But still noticable at times.

Does someone helps you walk? What are some examples of your learning disability?

Oh aye, she feckin' hates it. Go off in the huff. Ah did it once, she didnae talk to me for a couple days, except to ask me what I wanted for supper.

Maybe it is not a good idea to do the same thing she does to you.

Well, no. Actually, ah wus'nae too keen on getting to know my dad to begin with. Since ma mum and sisters were all telling me how much of an b@$%@*! he was. And tell me I wus just like 'em whenever I stood up for myself. I'd even said to my mum after my dad and I's first "reunion", that the relationship wouldn't work.

Anyway, I actually cut contact with him after this huge row. Cuz everytime ma dad would visit, he'd always nag and try to pressure me into coming to visit my other step-siblings. Which wasn't summit I had much interest in doing. And he constantly go on about wanting me to get good grades and do an accounts degree at university/college. Since he was wanting me to help in running his local pharmacy.

So, I just cut contact with him in early to mid-20s once I realised it was never about getting to know me after not being there for 14 years, it was about my dad wanting something from me and living up to his high standards.

What huge row? So he was in your life for 5 or 10 years?

I know, just giving my experience. And trying to give some perspective. Give a wee bit hope, as we've all got obsticles to overcome.

Thanks.