How can I get help?

[knowledgeiskey]

Growing up, I've always was an oddball.I was a poor student in school in regards to academics.I was always picked on and was always deviant. As far as I can remember, I was always behind on finishing task with other kids my age.I didn't know how to tie my shoes properly until I was around 7 and didn't learn how to read fluently until age 8.I was placed in learning disability classes through out all of my years in elementary school.In regards to keeping friends, I was always picked on and used by other peers.It wasn't until middle school that I had a decent social life although I would get used by so called friends.I was always picked on and bullied through out my years in middle school.When I got into high school, I had many acquaintances but never really had anybody who I could call to go to a party or the movies.In fact, I never attended any school games or any functions such as prom or homecoming.I never really had anybody who I could have went with.I have never had a girlfriend or someone who gave me any emotional support.I was overweight and had low self-esteem.I never really acknowledge any of these characteristics to point that I thought something was wrong with me.In fact, it wasn't until I graduated high school and I got into the real world that I thought I was eccentric to an extent.I really had no one to socialize with.I have tried to make friends, but they seemed reluctant to get into any friendship with me.I sometimes stay away from people for that reason.I don't want to get ridiculed.That's why I stay quiet most of the time.I got a part time job 6 months after I graduated high school, but I performed poorly.It got to an extent to where I got zero hour on the schedule.As far as socializing with people, I have tried but people seemed to not have any eye contact with me.I'm 21 years old now and I have never been in a intimate relationship.I have a hard to initiating any conversation with the opposite sex.Whenever I try, they seemed reluctant and backed away.My aunt always asked me "why don't you have a girlfriend"?"You're a young guy".I tell her that I'm shy.She tells me that I'm a young man, and that I should be more assertive and out going.Trust me.I know that, but I have a hard to functioning in my environment.I had a job interview last July and was turned down.I think I was not assertive enough.My parents realize that something maybe wrong with me.My mom thinks I have a mental illness(lol).My father says that I need to go out more.I'm aware what I have to do, but I don't know what to do.I need guidance.I have never had emotional support.I'm a loner.I have read symptoms of Asperger's syndrome, and I feel that I probably have it.Do keep in mind that I'm currently in school and, I have goals.The only problem I have is getting a social life and getting people to like me.I'm not a charismatic guy, and people tend not to like people who aren't charismatic.

Any advice?

Am I alone?

 

[scrumblebee]

For advice, I'd say first off don't pigeon-hole yourself into diseases/disorders/syndromes you read about on the internet. If you think it's possible you have Asperger's, there are outlets you can use in order to determine, via third party professionals, whether or not you have it. I'd suggest shooting these folks an e-mail over at: GRASP - The Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership to ask them for contact information for experts in your area if you want to follow through and determine if you really have Asperger's.

As for the advice of going out, or being more assertive, it's really hard to simply DO those things without the help of a professional to get at the root issues of why those things are difficult for you. I would suggest, just as someone who happens to suffer from social anxiety in various forms, to maybe try just going out in public places to get a cup of coffee by yourself or something, or even go to a local library and read a book there and try to work your way up from there in terms of interacting with people.

These forums are full of people who deal with similar issues, so having people to relate with and share these things can definitely be helpful.

You are not alone