spaceboy135
Well-known member
Anyone know how to deal with this? This is definitely my predominant SA issue, probably makes up about 80-90% of my SA.
It's not that I look away from people's eyes out of shyness. It's out of fear that I'm going to scare them by looking at them (even my own parents, siblings, and friends). It started with an incident in my senior year of high school. Then in my freshman year of college I had some people tell me I had intense eye contact. Some people think I'm staring at them too hard. Sometimes people's eyes burn when they look at me, or they have to clear their throats, or they swallow, etc. Even if it's irrationally, I always suspect through some body language, however inadvertent as it may be, that I'm scaring them.
Missjessse tells me that I shouldn't think about it, shouldn't worry about whether I'm doing something right or not, not to ponder over my "performance", and not to think about it when I look at people. But it seems to me like there's concrete evidence, what I just said above, that shows that there really is a legitimate problem with my eye contact. I've gotten to where I try to make it only last a second or two then look away, then come back for another second or two-- which makes it hard to pay attention to what they're saying, as you can imagine lol. I think missjesss really could be onto something though.
All in favor of missjesss's advice say aye. All opposed, don't say nay lol, but give your own advice if you have some!
Because eye-contact dysmorphia is annoying.
It's not that I look away from people's eyes out of shyness. It's out of fear that I'm going to scare them by looking at them (even my own parents, siblings, and friends). It started with an incident in my senior year of high school. Then in my freshman year of college I had some people tell me I had intense eye contact. Some people think I'm staring at them too hard. Sometimes people's eyes burn when they look at me, or they have to clear their throats, or they swallow, etc. Even if it's irrationally, I always suspect through some body language, however inadvertent as it may be, that I'm scaring them.
Missjessse tells me that I shouldn't think about it, shouldn't worry about whether I'm doing something right or not, not to ponder over my "performance", and not to think about it when I look at people. But it seems to me like there's concrete evidence, what I just said above, that shows that there really is a legitimate problem with my eye contact. I've gotten to where I try to make it only last a second or two then look away, then come back for another second or two-- which makes it hard to pay attention to what they're saying, as you can imagine lol. I think missjesss really could be onto something though.
All in favor of missjesss's advice say aye. All opposed, don't say nay lol, but give your own advice if you have some!
Because eye-contact dysmorphia is annoying.
The best is for me if i avoid look to the eyes but i will i freak out anytime if i meet with any eyes if i walk outside. My advice is to dont think about it and focus on some points around like a simple tree, or buildings this i do and i pretend i see interresting subjects in my live. Ya worse is if u really must conversation with someone. Positive thinking can help u overcome that. I know trought isnt so simple. Missjessse say it everything what u should practice day after day