How the heck do you do a proper male handshake?

[silentbutdeadly]

Come on, you know what I'm talking about, guys. There are fewer things in the world more awkward than not knowing how the other person wants to do a handshake. And I'm not talking about the regular handshake (the one that also signifies agreement).

I feel so out of place when I see friends and relatives do random handshakes with each other so comfortably like it's nothing. I always end up either doing the handshake wrong or just doing the regular handshake...so humiliating. Sometimes people don't even bother doing any kind of handshake with me because they want to avoid the awkwardness. They'll just wave (even though I'm standing like 3 feet away) and say bye.

So anyways, my question: Is there a most common "male handshake" that I could just stick with? BTW, I live in Southern California, if that helps at all.

And don't tell me to just do the "regular handshake" because even though that would remove some of the awkwardness, I'll still feel like a total square. The main reason I'm asking is because I have a couple of family gatherings to go to for the holidays, and I think improving my handshake will help my self-confidence a little.

P.S. I found this youtube video, but it was more confusing and funny than helpful. :wink:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=T2r3iv0maM0

 

[HexNoir]

Just as a tip, that's never going to improve your self confidence. Just do the fist-pound and work on your self esteem in another area of life

 

[RedRibbons]

Umm.. I am also awkward about handshakes.. like the kinda punch one.. and w/e.. When I hand shake I make it like it's funny.. and not something serious.. like.. my hand is saying "blah blah blah!" I like doing a funny high five.. but I'm a girl.. and a silly one at that.. so.. that's what works for me. You just need to find what works for you. I deal with awkwardness by making fun of the awkward.. but not in a super obvious way. idk if that helps.

 

[4seasons]

Wow dude, sounds like you are making way to mush of a hand shake.
Bur if it helps when i shake someones had i just give them a firm but not to firm hand shake.

 

[blackcap]

I can see how this would be awkward. Luckily I only ever have to do regular handshakes so it's not a problem, but if I did have friends that did other types then I'd probably have the same problem as you.

My only suggestion would be to let the other person take the lead and then you match whatever type of handshake they choose. Don't even lift your hand until you can tell what type it is, otherwise the other person may interpret your hand movement to be a different handshake than theirs and then change to match, while you then match their original one!

The other option would be to take the lead yourself and make it clear which type you want to initiate, but that would probably require more confidence.

 

[silentbutdeadly]

You are thinking very deeply about this and there is no need. people do 'alternative' handshakes because it gives their ego a boost and they think they're that bit 'cooler'.

Just do the normal straight forward handshake and say 'how are you?' at the same time and you will come across as confident and certainly very masculine!! Any other kind of handshake is almost a set up by the other person to make you fail. The stright forward business handshake is mature and powerful so use that!!

I think that's exactly what I needed to hear. That makes SO much sense. Thank you and everyone else who replied and/or took the time to read my post. It may have seemed like I was obsessed with the issue, but I really just wanted to put as much detail into my post to make everything clear.

And happy holidays to all!

 

[shynobody]

i hate doing handshakes so i cant help you lol. i have a wimpy, sweaty (try to wipe my hand before), unconfident handshake . i did shake hands tho with hopefully my future grandfather-in-law a month ago. i think you do a regular firm handshake with like older and professional people. and a knuckle (?) or the one you wrap your hand around the thumb handshake with ghetto people and friends lol...not sure :?.

 

[The_9th_passenger]

I used to have a serious problem with that years ago before my 30's. I used to work as a law/accounts consulting and had to do it very often with customers, who usually were company's directors and/or proprietaries.
Now i have no problem at all at handshaking. The only tips that apply are:
1.- go stright ahead, with nothing in your head, and shake hands like you really appreciate that person, like it was a very good friend of yours, while you look at his eyes and smile, just like "hey! I'm very fond to meet you!"
2.- on shaking hands, do it strongly and firmly, but NOT trying to destroy other person's hand :wink:

And 3.- DON'T GO OBSESSED about it . Just stop thinking you don't know how to do it right. If not sure, practice with family and friends. The main tip is this one. As long as you don't go thinking you may fail at it, you shall be less nervous at it.

 

[SilentType]

I used to find handshakes to be quite a problem. As a marijuana connoisseur, I find that there are tons of shakes out there, and you never know whats coming if you haven't shaked the persons hand before. At first, I did what somebody above said and started giving everybody the fist pound, but nobody does that really, lol, so I had to learn the shake. I've found the only way to learn is to keep shakin hands, because practice makes perfect... Nowadays I've got every shake down, I just have to make sure my palm isn't all sweaty beforehand, lol. Yes, I know I've thought way to much about this...lol

Peace

 

[GettingThere]

Give a fim hand shake with your hand horizonal. A hand shake with your hand over the other person's is dominant and visa visa.

 

[silentbutdeadly]

I used to have a serious problem with that years ago before my 30's. I used to work as a law/accounts consulting and had to do it very often with customers, who usually were company's directors and/or proprietaries.
Now i have no problem at all at handshaking. The only tips that apply are:
1.- go stright ahead, with nothing in your head, and shake hands like you really appreciate that person, like it was a very good friend of yours, while you look at his eyes and smile, just like "hey! I'm very fond to meet you!"
2.- on shaking hands, do it strongly and firmly, but NOT trying to destroy other person's hand :wink:

And 3.- DON'T GO OBSESSED about it . Just stop thinking you don't know how to do it right. If not sure, practice with family and friends. The main tip is this one. As long as you don't go thinking you may fail at it, you shall be less nervous at it.

GREAT advice, thank you. Especially #1.