How to meet girls at college if you are shy?

[Blue Teardrops]

The only good thing about college/university for me is that I'm making something of myself and getting involved with some campus organizations.

As for socializing, I find that some clubs help me to make friends a little more. . . . But as for finding a b/f, it's virtually almost impossible for me. It could probably be easier, since I've gotten quite a few stares from different guys on campus. If I don't actually talk to them, then it's not going to go any further than that (unless, of course, they talk to me, which most likely won't happen). =(

Everything you said here applies to me as well, you said it better than I did. I've gotten stares from a few guys on campus too, although most are creepy old men, but there have been a few younger guys. It'd be nice if I had the guts to talk to the opposite sex.

 

[klytus]

If I don't actually talk to them, then it's not going to go any further than that (unless, of course, they talk to me, which most likely won't happen). =(

Well, it's probably better this way - imagine you would have to integrate all these social interactions into your daily college life. Without such contacts, you can focus on what is truly important.

I am not only against drinking, but also against the use of cell-phones. I can't stand those things. Especially these modern "smart-phones" are impressively annoying. That means, I don't have a cell-phone and am very reluctant to get one. However, I have noticed that most, if not all, around me have one and use it incessantly. I mean, really, they always play with their phones, which makes them quite unapproachable.

 

[Rodney]

Read the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss. This book changed my life and perspective.

LOL. DO NOT READ "THE GAME". I had a friend that read it and he turned into an annoying cocky douchebag. The only girls that you'll get from this book are fake girls, you know the annoying ones that say "omg", "shut up!", and "like totally". Anyways if you want to follow the advice of a book written by a douchebag to make you into one then go ahead.

But I think you should just be yourself when talking to a girl and if that's not good enough for her well then she isn't worth your time. Remember, it's better to have a girl like you for who you are than to like you for who you aren't.

 

[klytus]

But I think you should just be yourself when talking to a girl and if that's not good enough for her well then she isn't worth your time. Remember, it's better to have a girl like you for who you are than to like you for who you aren't.

For that, you first have to learn how to be yourself. Just because you are too much of a coward to be a douche-bag, it doesn't mean you are a genuinely nice guy. But let's not get into this topic.

 

[Rodney]

For that, you first have to learn how to be yourself. Just because you are too much of a coward to be a douche-bag, it doesn't mean you are a genuinely nice guy. But let's not get into this topic.

Are you a douchebag klytus? XD

 

[klytus]

Are you a douchebag klytus? XD

If necessary. But I prefer being nice.

 

[TimArends]

I don't think the college atmosphere is bad for meeting people, I just think that, well, being shy is bad for meeting people! When I was in college, what would I have done different? Tried to strike up a friendly conversation with one girl at some random moment every day. Strike up a conversation with the person standing next to me in the lunch line. I was always afraid to do this, because I thought that would lead to the expectation that I would expect them to sit with me for lunch. Not necessarily! When you part ways, just say "well it was nice talking to you". She may seek you out for future conversations, you never know. Also, it's good practice to try to remember the names of everyone you meet. If you remember their name the next time you meet them, it will make a good impression on them.

 

[Richey]

I agree uni is a really unsociable place...everyone I've spoken to at mine says they just come along...so the classes and then leave. Most of their friends are from outside uni.

If you wana hook up with girls (im talking maybe not relationship stuff) i'd say just go along to the uni parties....no one notices who your with and everyone is just wasted!

Unfortunately i think uni people bond by drinking so im not sure what to suggest!

yeh the general atmosphere is quite insular and people do seem wrapped up in their own world and often they seem content and possibly arnt interested in meeting people. of course there are exceptions. often there are free food days which brings people together and is an opportunity to open up. i think alot of it comes down to whether a person instigates interaction, alot of the time most people are too shy to talk to strangers and will stick to who they know. if everyone took that risk to open up then it would be one big happy village and the place would come to life. but from the two universities i've studied at, its all individualism and a "me, me, me" attitude unless you are at a party or something, thats how i see it, maybe thats a little eshcewed though

 

[Afraid to die alone]

I’m a 20-year-old sophomore in college. I have never had sex or a girlfriend and I have never even kissed a girl. I would say I’m average looking and at a normal weight for my height (5’8”, 142 pounds). I have both male and female friends in college. But the older I get, the more and more I want a girlfriend. Last year at least three women were definitely interested in me (they either said so explicitly or insinuated it), but I didn’t find any of them attractive. I can’t try to pursue any of my female friends, because I’m not attracted to half of them and the other half have boyfriends. Should I join a college club or go to more parties and hit on drunk girls?

 

[CPA23]

I went through four years of college and I didn't leave with any permanent friendships. I had a few acquaintances, but very little changed from high school. During my 4 years of college, I saw 2 girls who I really liked but I never pursued them because I was so insecure and shy. I even took classes with them, but I still found it difficult to approach them. It is hard being a guy and not having a girlfriend because some people suspect that you are gay. This makes me even more insecure which leads to anxiety which leads to depression/sadness. I am so tired of feeling like this. I wish that there was a way out!

 

[klytus]

It is hard being a guy and not having a girlfriend because some people suspect that you are gay.

Sounds familiar. I find it fascinating how occupied people are with the sexual life of others. Almost sicker than any phobia could ever be.

 

[Os Ama Laden Bin]

Why loosing your time with college girls? Get a few whores in your nearest ghetto.

 

[RND_CHR]

To the poster above, you're an ahole and I hope your ip gets banned. To the op, you're probably not going to meet girls with the habits you have now. You probably need to change something by going out of your comfort zone. I know it's hard. I'm pretty shy too.

 

[Os Ama Laden Bin]

What is an ahole?

 

[Anomaly]

What is an ahole?

Your location.

 

[Aiyieeeee]

I agree with the College comments. I was also mislead about how it would be once I got here. I thought the college process would weed out all of the bad apples and I'd fall within a clique of friends, experience a relationship or 2 and it'd just be all giggles, skittles and rainbows.

Nah.

If anything, College is all the more conducive to anti-social behavior. It's easier to stay secluded. You aren't grouped and bunched up with a group of peers who you'll progress through school with on an equal basis as before. You all go off on your separate paths. You graduate when you're ready. You don't have to eat with everybody else (This I especially enjoyed. No more going to lunch and fearing that you'll have to eat alone and no more worrying about eating in front of other people in general).

College just all the more enabled me to seclude myself. I thought by going to college, I'd be given a helping hand and nudged out of my shell, it just crystallized it. My shell is bullet proof. My roommates don't even know me.

 

[Tempus35]

College is a hard time, I have been in various colleges from the time I graduated high school, and it has been really hard to make even friends. I have like 2 now but that is all, and we don't hang tons. I have yet to have a meaningful relationship with a girl, even a true friendship. Not only in college but when I wasn't in school either. It is beyond hard to introduce yourself to others, and try to be interesting, it doesn't help I don't look great physically. I can get people who like my personality online but how to do that offline. So in the end I feel you, alot.

 

[hydrapower]

I managed to make myself completely alone and isolated when living in the party section of a party school. Kept my door closed and locked at all times, ate alone, went to class only occasionally. If I could go back and do it again I definitely wouldn't have done this since it was really just very self-destructive.

However, I am getting another chance at a different school now that I just commute to. I only meet people in my classes but they are actually quite friendly and I have made at least one real friend who will stick around after college, and a few other acquaintance/friends where we've exchanged email/Facebook/phone numbers whatever so we don't have to drop off the face of the earth once school's over.

I'm not really answering the main question of the thread, I guess, since I'm taken anyway, but I would say just try to say hi to the people next to you in your classes and if you find you get along then exchange contact info so you're not only limited to class time. It's networking. Much easier than talking to various random strangers in the library/dining hall/whatever, which I'm not that good at.

 

[Predacon]

Try getting a dog, I hear that breaks the ice

 

[Halleluja]

To bluntly answer your question: you don't. Actually, it's easy to meet girls on campus but the relationship rarely goes deeper than friendship. It's the partying, study trips, or whatever social gatherings with other students. That's where all the magic happens. Most students I know go to university to study (duh) and not to socialize. Even the most outgoing friends of mine do not socialize on campus. My advice: go party in the weekends. Go to clubs where they have a 'student only' door policy on particular days. Trust me, it doesn't take a lot of skill to score a drunk horny student. Who knows she might be the girls of your dreams, even after sobering up .