I can't take this anymore...

[lifesnotfair]

I am tired of waiting and tired of trying to recover from depression, and i am also tired of the whole social scene where people meet each other, i am just so sick and tired of waiting or or trying to find that right person.

i am so upset that i just don't know how to vent how i feel.... There is nothing i can do to make this better, i have been trying and how much longer do i have to wait.

i say screw it all... screw life, screw society, screw everything..

PS... whoever says that there are a lot of single women out there are very dillusional.. I am tired of seeing everyone with someone, married, or in a relationship, and i am the only f**king loser that has nobody, because i am a computer geek, a loner, a sad, bitter, hate filled person who rather give the finger to society than be part of its destruction...

 

[shep]

Right now you have things a bit out of focus. For starters, you are not the only one without a mate, you are not a loser, and you have lots of things to be thankful for when you think about it. I would suggest that you try to form friendships through here and on other sites. Pen pal sites for instance or chat lines if that is your "cup of tea". If you concentrate on friendship, maybe you will eventually develop a close relationship.

 

[JWH]

I don't know how to address the depression as I haven't experienced much of it yet. But surely that's to come. But with SP I feel that learning to switch off that is the key. Can you give us an idea of your day-to-day experiences that causes these thoughts?

I have conditioned myself to not look at people when walking by to the point where I don't consider my loneliness at all. I'm completely indifferent to them yet I have an irrational fear of what they think of me. I know this part of my SP problem, but in your case it could help if you focus on other things for a while until you are ready and able to find someone.

 

[Anonymous]

same

I have had sp for 9 years of unmitigated disasters. Uni, Work, social life are all screwed up. But most of all i am sick of being depressed and waiting for the day when i suddenly become happy i know its not going to happen.

 

[Anonymous]

make it an art

Well, i have noticed some people in here has stopped being serious because they hate being seriuous. i have read a post by Steve something. in wich he said the steps to be cured an dit seems to me pretty clinical and terapeutical, ieven laugh at one or two times, so it even had a bit of humor. Humor varies a lot from people to people. and there are also different kind of sense of humor. i have to make this clear : the sense of humor is never vanished at all. it was here before humanity, humor and imagination start it all, the whole thing ( as in the big bang ).

Anyways, if im being serious, ill get even more:
Anger, depression, and evil in general its useful for paint and music. there are some painters and musicians and even writers that have managed to use those thoughts to make some real good masterpieces. and there is not much competition on this subjects. take Kurt Cobain for example, a man who i consider a genius writer and guitar player as well as a multifacetic artist: "i cant stand stupidity"

However, the man painted great evil and disturbing scenes., made music as if he was possesed by a evil genius. yeah, i know. what is the damn point of this other "know it all". alright. the point is: make Art of ur unpleasant feelings. paint it, draw it, write it.

Now seriousness is not that bad. i think my situation is a but dif than SP, i do still belong to society, but i seem to see what the other person is going to say after what i say, and at the same time i notice all his/her body behaviours instead of concentrate in the topic going on, wich has lead to peasant and unpleasant situations depending on where i want to lead the conversation. wich is pretty fucked up since i dont want to carry the conversation to some point, but i seem to do it, and some times i seem to enjoy it. END OF THE TOPIC

Now. i wont end it here, but the next is a continuation just to point some of the thing i think about and like to talk about, so u can have an idea of how the distance between me and society:

schizophrenia, drugaddiction, begin of the universe, begin of human kind, meaning of both last things, sex (hetero), weapons, mental diseases, physics, beat writers, magic, witchery, demonoly, chamism, horror, terror, vertigo, color blindness, infinite, mirrors, subatomical reality,science fiction in general and so on... any paranormal subject, mental or drug related issue are the kind of conversations i like to carry on and im comfortable with.

Edgar Allan Poe or William Seward Burroughs are some examples of these thought carry it to make art. and these last cases are the masterpieces of what i am talking about.

Have a happy day and dont forget music. be addicted to it. sing with it, dance with it. love bands, hate bands. theres ur persona.

 

[Anonymous]

make it an art

Well, i have noticed some people in here has stopped being serious because they hate being seriuous. i have read a post by Steve something. in wich he said the steps to be cured an dit seems to me pretty clinical and terapeutical, ieven laugh at one or two times, so it even had a bit of humor. Humor varies a lot from people to people. and there are also different kind of sense of humor. i have to make this clear : the sense of humor is never vanished at all. it was here before humanity, humor and imagination start it all, the whole thing ( as in the big bang ).

Anyways, if im being serious, ill get even more:
Anger, depression, and evil in general its useful for paint and music. there are some painters and musicians and even writers that have managed to use those thoughts to make some real good masterpieces. and there is not much competition on this subjects. take Kurt Cobain for example, a man who i consider a genius writer and guitar player as well as a multifacetic artist: "i cant stand stupidity"

However, the man painted great evil and disturbing scenes., made music as if he was possesed by a evil genius. yeah, i know. what is the damn point of this other "know it all". alright. the point is: make Art of ur unpleasant feelings. paint it, draw it, write it.

Now seriousness is not that bad. i think my situation is a but dif than SP, i do still belong to society, but i seem to see what the other person is going to say after what i say, and at the same time i notice all his/her body behaviours instead of concentrate in the topic going on, wich has lead to peasant and unpleasant situations depending on where i want to lead the conversation. wich is pretty fucked up since i dont want to carry the conversation to some point, but i seem to do it, and some times i seem to enjoy it. END OF THE TOPIC

Now. i wont end it here, but the next is a continuation just to point some of the thing i think about and like to talk about, so u can have an idea of how the distance between me and society:

schizophrenia, drugaddiction, begin of the universe, begin of human kind, meaning of both last things, sex (hetero), weapons, mental diseases, physics, beat writers, magic, witchery, demonoly, chamism, horror, terror, vertigo, color blindness, infinite, mirrors, subatomical reality,science fiction in general and so on... any paranormal subject, mental or drug related issue are the kind of conversations i like to carry on and im comfortable with.

Have a happy day and dont forget music. be addicted to it. sing with it, dance with it. love bands, hate bands. theres ur persona.

 

[LilMissTragic]

I see the humour in this...lmao..I mean, going on about no single woman but then admitting your a sad computer nerd, who probably doesnt even go out much...lol, its kinda funny dont ya think. I dont mean it in a mean way but you really do have to get out and about to really see whats going on in the world. You cant sit in your room all day going on about life when you havent even been out in it.
Arrrhh the joys of socialphobia huh!

 

[Anonymous]

sex...hetero? william burroughs and only hetero sex? gimme a fucking break man. thats not what the beat thing is about. X

geez chill. that wasnt the point of the text anwyays.
alright. i dont know what beat is about. Id rather hetero than homosexul references. thats what I, (individual) like. I like to think on the beats as near to the Zero experience. science fiction mixed with religion and human behaviours in general ( including homosexuality ). So wathever your point of view is about the beats thats fine. I think i feel more sympathy for people like you than the rest of peoples in here. So however my point is, is just to chat in an extemely ammusing way for most people.

Have a neutral day.

 

[Yossarian]

Limbo have you told Stephen Hawking about what started the big bang, I'm sure he'd be well pleased. You'll have to forgive me, there's one thing I haven't grasped yet. How can there be humour and imagination without some form of existence (sentient).

I hope you have great sympathy for me too. I fail to understand (again) why its fine to have our own opinion yet are patronised when we do. Plus when you highlight something and draw special attention to it (hetero) its because you dont mean anything by it. Oh I am too simple to understand such contradictions and hypocrisy. Perhaps with your help though, I too will one day be able to write nigh on incomprehensible, logically flawed, patronising, pseudo-intellectual (tosh).

I shall wear your sympathy as a badge of honour.

 

[Yossarian]

Limbo have you told Stephen Hawking about what started the big bang, I'm sure he'd be well pleased. You'll have to forgive me, there's one thing I haven't grasped yet. How can there be humour and imagination without some form of existence (sentient).

I hope you have great sympathy for me too. I fail to understand (again) why its fine to have our own opinion yet are patronised when we do. Plus when you highlight something and draw special attention to it (hetero) its because you dont mean anything by it. Oh I am too simple to understand such contradictions and hypocrisy. Perhaps with your help though, I too will one day be able to write nigh on incomprehensible, logically flawed, patronising, pseudo-intellectual (tosh).

I shall wear your sympathy as a badge of honour.

 

[Anonymous]

i do feel sympathy too

Limbo have you told Stephen Hawking about what started the big bang, I'm sure he'd be well pleased. You'll have to forgive me, there's one thing I haven't grasped yet. How can there be humour and imagination without some form of existence (sentient).

I hope you have great sympathy for me too. I fail to understand (again) why its fine to have our own opinion yet are patronised when we do. Plus when you highlight something and draw special attention to it (hetero) its because you dont mean anything by it. Oh I am too simple to understand such contradictions and hypocrisy. Perhaps with your help though, I too will one day be able to write nigh on incomprehensible, logically flawed, patronising, pseudo-intellectual (tosh).

I shall wear your sympathy as a badge of honour.

alright. is too many questions at the same time but ill try to explain in a basic and short post: ( hopefully)

1.- Sorry if i draw special attention to Hetero rather than Homosexuality. in personal, i dont like most of the homosexuals i have known in my life. most of them are no way like william burroughs or kurt cobain. they are homosexuals but they are too much into society. i dont like a happy homosexual. is hard to explain for me since this might be pseudo-intellectual to you. ill put it in another words: id rather picture a penis goin into a vagina, than a penis goin into a man ass-hole. hope this make it a bit clearer. i think i draw attention to it inconsciously so i could talk about sex in general.

2.- None Einstein or Hawking or human living form as we know it, will ever know why the big bang started. Hawking by himself as said he knows how universe works, but he doesnt know why it takes the bother to exist. so my conclusion is Imagination start it all. maybe your own life too.
imagination is part of you. so it might be part of the big bang too. along with trees and all concepts that you know at this point if expansion.
( time ), i liek to think in imagination and the number zero as one same thing.

3.- Its fine to have your own opinion. Its also fine to defend yourself to feel fine, its also fine to show anger or disagreement.

4.- Im also too simple. to very damn simple.

5.- I never said humor and imagination can exist without or with something else. i said they were here in the beggining. so these elements have all the necessary to start universe. think about it. after these maybe mass and time were created. then, maybe bad and evil. is a good thing to write abouya ya know.

6.- u dont have SP

 

[LilMissTragic]

LMAO, Hear that Yoss, you dont have SP...your cured mate.

Ohhh ya can sit here and theorise the whole big bang thing day in and day out and still come to no conclusion whatsoever. Hey good idea, i'm just gonna sit here and theorise about my existence, til i get bored....

BORED!!

 

[Anonymous]

LMAO, Hear that Yoss, you dont have SP...your cured mate.

Ohhh ya can sit here and theorise the whole big bang thing day in and day out and still come to no conclusion whatsoever. Hey good idea, i'm just gonna sit here and theorise about my existence, til i get bored....

BORED!!

my deear lil misstragic. i believe u dont have SP anymore.
ur confidence is just too high. u have said talk about religion and endless topics its bored as hell since u dont get a conclusion. im in the opposite side of the coin. i agree u dont get a conclusion, but i dont find it a bored topic. see the dif?

Now if i have a theory about SP is that we all are too BORED of life
There are a finite number of jokes in the universe "david byrne"
There's no cure for boredom but opioids.
I Never said it had to be entertaining. u want to have fun? why dont go to have some fun with friends instead of read depressive thoughts in here.

I like the study of depressives thoughts i guess, thats what i come here.
Now i find you too happy in comparison with most people in here.. i believe your condition is a lil more like mine. u are also a person who will show u already know what its been said. nothing wrong with it.

boredom boredom boredom boredom
lame lame lame lame lame lame
words words words words

SP unexistant on you too.

 

[Anonymous]

Lifesnotfair=Crashmodem

Why not post under your original name?

 

[LilMissTragic]

Guest, are you telling me that you know all about my life, what are you, some sort of SP god?
What I'm saying, since you cant seem to grasp it, is that people dont need to come here to be depressed or fed up, humour should be used to help us realise that SP isn't as bad as what could be. People suffering from SP need to know there are others like them here but they also need to know having SP is not the end of the world, though it can often feel like it. As for being confident, yes, i'm confident with my opinions but do you really think I could stand up in a crowd and shout this out loud, No, i couldn't, Do you think I can walk down the street on a bad depressive day and wack a fake smile onto my face, no, i couldnt do that either, so dont go telling me about MY condition as you have no grounds to know wether or not your theory is correct.
Another thing, I never once said i was bored of the topics here, bored in general yes but not with here, like you, I have an interest in the people here and come here for the same reasons they do.
Oh and by the way, since when cant Socialphobes be happy????..We aren't all depressive.

 

[lifesnotfair]

i don't know who this "crashmodem" is?