ohhelpme
New member
Hi all,
My story began three years ago, when I was 17 and began university. I had alot of trouble with exams- but not with the material. I had a constant fear that I had forgotton to write my name down on the exam sheet. As such, I spend 10 minutes each time checking, double checking, triple checking if I wrote my name and student number on it. Also, every morning, it takes me a long time to leave the house. I check, recheck ad nauseum to see if the stove is turned off, lights are turned off etc. When driving, every now and then I fear I might have run somebody over, but I heard and felt nothing.
A year since then, I had severe preoccupations with cancer and other illnesses that I dare not describe for fear of brining it back up into my consciousness again.
Now, a high-tech fear stifles me. Its a fear of email and other electronic forms of communication. I fear that I may have written something private or inappropiate in an email or something and sending it to everybody. So i check my email outbox many, many, many times a day to make sure I haven't done that.
I am really, really, TIRED. Coming from an Asian background, I finally understand why people become monks. I feel as though all my Obsessions and Compulsions are fuelled by my fear of loosing my posessions, my status, my job, my school grades, my life etc. I sometimes wish I can leave everything behind, and be a monk. If I have nothing, there is nothing to fear to lose.
That's my rant. If you haven't quit reading by now, thanks for reading!!
Oh, and another fear of mine is that while typing public messages such as this, I have included my private information and such, so I shall look through this a few more times before I post.....
My story began three years ago, when I was 17 and began university. I had alot of trouble with exams- but not with the material. I had a constant fear that I had forgotton to write my name down on the exam sheet. As such, I spend 10 minutes each time checking, double checking, triple checking if I wrote my name and student number on it. Also, every morning, it takes me a long time to leave the house. I check, recheck ad nauseum to see if the stove is turned off, lights are turned off etc. When driving, every now and then I fear I might have run somebody over, but I heard and felt nothing.
A year since then, I had severe preoccupations with cancer and other illnesses that I dare not describe for fear of brining it back up into my consciousness again.
Now, a high-tech fear stifles me. Its a fear of email and other electronic forms of communication. I fear that I may have written something private or inappropiate in an email or something and sending it to everybody. So i check my email outbox many, many, many times a day to make sure I haven't done that.
I am really, really, TIRED. Coming from an Asian background, I finally understand why people become monks. I feel as though all my Obsessions and Compulsions are fuelled by my fear of loosing my posessions, my status, my job, my school grades, my life etc. I sometimes wish I can leave everything behind, and be a monk. If I have nothing, there is nothing to fear to lose.
That's my rant. If you haven't quit reading by now, thanks for reading!!
Oh, and another fear of mine is that while typing public messages such as this, I have included my private information and such, so I shall look through this a few more times before I post.....
