Julianne
Member
Wondering if a single person in the whole world knows who I am. Wondering if I want anyone to know who I am. Really. I'm so good at lying. Good god. I'm so tired. It's hard to sleep, it's hard to eat, it's hard to feel. It's too damn hard to cry. I need to cry. I'm so sorry. It feels like I'm filled with tears, as if it is about to overflow, as if I'm about to dissolve, as if my outlines are becoming increasingly blurred. Water. I'm going to die drowning within, the internal organs of my going to drown in all the tears that can not escape if I do not soon get to cry. I'm so sorry because I am so unsuccessful. I am so sorry that everything in my life has gone wrong. To hell. So damn wrong. I am so sorry that I hurt people.
Maybe I just can not bear to think of anything anymore. I am so terribly tired. So tired. What does it mean? life? What to do when you live? what is it that matters? what the hell is it about? happiness and love. It's what people are expected to strive for, or what? But how is it possible to strive for something you do not know what is? Can anyone give me a definition? I want a manual. Something durable.
Maybe I just can not bear to think of anything anymore. I am so terribly tired. So tired. What does it mean? life? What to do when you live? what is it that matters? what the hell is it about? happiness and love. It's what people are expected to strive for, or what? But how is it possible to strive for something you do not know what is? Can anyone give me a definition? I want a manual. Something durable.