I feel like I have no friends

PhantomPod

PhantomPod

Well-known member
No, I know that I have no friends. Normally I've always been content with being by myself, so I don't know what my problem has been recently. I started at college a week ago, and it's not really what I had expected. I just had such high expectations and thought that everyone would be super nice and friendly, but it doesn't seem like that. Seems like I'm still in high school. And I feel stupid for having such high expectations and letting myself get all disappointed once again.

There's two girls at my college who I know from my town, and we met a couple other girls, but I don't feel as though they're my friends. Like I never feel as though anyone is my friend. I always refer to people as just 'people I know' or as my 'accquantinces.'

Those girls that I know went out for dinner and to a club or something last night for someone's birthday, and didn't even bother to invite me. I saw two of their away messages on aim, saying that they were out for the night 'partying it up.'


It's just like this Dashboard Confessional song:
"You can list your friends
but you can't count on them"

It really feels like I have no friends that I'd truely ever be able to count on. Kind of a shitty reality...
 
aoao

aoao

Well-known member
it's hard if you have SA/SP/shyness/etc.

i work at a mcdonald's and people always give me a hard time, i lost most of my old friends because of the distance (moved back to my birthplace) and because i quit doing drugs. *sigh* i feel so alone now, and i've been meeting some nice people, but the area that i live in is just freaking LAME, and people that come from this area are mostly shady, so i figure i won't bother until i get out of here, and just keep up with the people from my childhood every so often and what not. ._. it'll be hard to move and make anew, but i'm so sick of it here.. rural wisconsin. it's bad enough that i'm gay and trying to make it by here. :(
 
A

Angie_05

Well-known member
I know how you feel. I'm a senior now at a university but I live at home to avoid the social situations. I do everything by myself. I have a few acquaintences at school, but otherwise I walk campus alone.

There is this group of girls that I have had many classes with in the past 3 years because we are all majoring in the same subject. They have never talked to me this entire time, despite spending hundreds of hours with me in a classroom. It feels kinda strange. I know I'm a normal person and I am very easy to talk to once people do talk to me, but I won't talk to them first.

I feel really left out too.

I don't know why these girls didn't invite you. They might have gotten so caught up in the plans that they simply forgot, or maybe they thought you weren't the clubbin type and didn't want to put you on the spot by asking.
 
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Fighter86

Well-known member
Hi PhantomPod! I understand how u feel. U think that when u leave high school, u r gonna make a fresh start. It's juz that the fresh start never came :cry: After secondary school, I went to a college & things didn't work out for me as well. There I was, keeping to myself, being quiet & doing my own thing when someone had to come disturb me, do things like asking me questions like 'why do u look upset al the time?', blah, blah, blah. Oh, I also was not invited to places, never was. I do alot of things on my own- I shop alone, run errands alone, whatever...
 
jenz

jenz

Well-known member
same with me fighter 86....I don't feel I don't have any friends... I know I don't!! :D :D
 
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Fighter86

Well-known member
jenz said:
same with me fighter 86....I don't feel I don't have any friends... I know I don't!! :D :D
Click to expand...

Nice to know I'm not the only one :lol: I feel bad for u though...as well as for me 8O
 
ColdAsIce

ColdAsIce

Well-known member
When I was at school I hung around with a small group of friends and they really were the best, we were the "reject group" mind but boy together did we have some laughs!!.....

Nowadays though I'm pritty much on my own, but I'm kind of use to my own company now so its not like its a massive issue for me. Since leaving school friends have come and gone, its hard to find just one "genuine" friend these days, they seem to be hard to come by in my opinon.... 8O
 
Bexi

Bexi

Well-known member
I don't feel I have many friends, online I have alot tho, and talking to ppl from here and on msn is good! I just stay at home with family, or see my BF, but i'm content with being a loner now, I got used to it x
 
PhantomPod

PhantomPod

Well-known member
Yeah, I think I've just pretty much gotten used to being a loner now. I always do things by myself. I don't mind it all that much, just some days I'll be feeling down and wish I had someone to talk to or hang out with or something.

There's a mall near my college here, and the girls I know have been to it a couple times already, but I haven't gone at all. So I asked some of them if they wanted to go with me today, because I wanted to get a dvd, but no one did. So I was just like whatever, and just went by myself. Because yeah, I've always been by myself, so I'm not letting it stop me doing what I wanna do just cause no one will go with me.

I just need to "Learn to be Lonely." Anyone see The Phantom of the Opera movie? That's the title of a song on the soundtrack, and yeah, it pretty much sums up my life.
 
Boundless

Boundless

Well-known member
You may be lonely in the real world but you dont have to be lonely on here,lots of people have msn and chat to each other i find it great i have several contacts on my msn from this forum and there good to talk to and its nice to share past experiances and future hopes - if anyone has msn and wants to talk about there problems or is just lonely please dont hesitate to add me im easy to talk to (at least i think so) and have a good sense of humour (you need it with this illness :p ) [email protected]
 
Bexi

Bexi

Well-known member
What you wrote Phantom, about how no one could go to the mall with you made me feel abit :( It reminds me of school, my "friends" didn't invite me out with them much, and even if they did i'd not want to go anyway :?
Luckily, I don't have pseudo friends anymore, I'd rather be alone, than with a hundred fake people.
 
PhantomPod

PhantomPod

Well-known member
That's exactly what all of these people are to me. "psuedo friends." Like we really don't even have a friendship, so that's why I never refer to them as my friends.

One of the girls calls me sometimes and hangs out with me, and she's the most "friend"ly, but I always feel as though I'm her last choice. Like, no, I know that I'm always her last choice. I was talking too my mom and my aunt saying how it always feels like this girl uses me whenever she has nothng better to do or no one cooler to hang out with, and they just told me to use her right back then. lol. So if I want to do something, sometimes I'll call her and see if she wants to too, just so I'll have someone to hang with. Like she knew that I got the dvd today, so she said she wants to watch it with me tomorrow... although she didn't go to the mall with me to get it... hah. But whatever.
 
Hurricane

Hurricane

Well-known member
I just started university yesterday and I feel so lost and lonely already...I have no idea how I'll be able to make any friends at all...
 
LeapFrog

LeapFrog

Well-known member
*Warning: I sort of go off on a tangent in this post*

I don't have any friends at college yet... And my dad keeps asking "So, have you made any friends yet". I guess he doesn't realize how uncomfortable it is being asked that. I used to enjoy friends (6 years ago or so) but now I always feel uncomfortable when I'm hanging out with them. I find it hard to "be myself" even though I know that they (Who am I kidding: He) won't care. I guess it's the seclusion of the past 6 years. I've grown rather fond of being by myself. I have sort of "adapted" to loneliness so that it's effect over me aren't as overpowering as they previously were. Though I do get lonely sometimes... Everyone does.
 
Chilling__Echo

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
hey guys, i feel this way all the time. i KNOW i have friends but i get obsessed with the thought. like who can i call? who can't i? who's really a friend? really you just gotta take things in stride
 
Jeannie21

Jeannie21

Member
I know what you mean. I have many aquaintances that sometimes invite me to do things with them but I never feel comfortable doing things with them because they are all talking about things that I don't know anything about, so I just sit there and say nothing. I only have 3 real friends that I actually feel comfortable around and do lots of things with. But even with them, I am not close enough to tell them everything.

When someone tries to befriend me, I often shut them out because I don't see why someone would want to be friends with me. So just try to be open to anyone who tries to make friends with you. One day someone will come along who you feel comfortable with.
 
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