i feel so strange right now

[tupac]

i feel like mentally im tired, and my body feels weak. i have no energy to deal with this. i can understand these things but theres other feelings i dont quiet know how to describe,i havent felt them before. its an empty feeling as if im missing something. im confused and feel like im just losing touch with reality.i can't really even find the right words to describe this. i hope i making sense. i would like to hear if you guys have experienced this or anything similar?

 

[Scottish_Player]

tupac,i am the same i feel nothing in life the only true emotion i can feel is sad even although i do try to fight it and make my self feel better its not always possible,i know what you mean about the emptiness and i also cant explain it.

 

[mrblack]

think of yourself as someone who has been given a difficult challenge to overcome it. Once you overcome is, your will feel ten times better had you not Even had the problem to begin with. nothing is better than success. rather than always comisserating yourself, try to encourage yourself to push yourself even harder at working to overcome this problems

 

[Mysti]

Hi Tupac

Not sure if it's the same sort of feeling you get but sometimes when I'm really anxious, especially after I've been crying I get the strongest sensation as if I've forgotten to do something. It's not because my memory is like a sieve, it's because I feel so detached from everything else.
The lethargy I can relate to as well, I live a pretty lazy life due to being cooped up basically 24/7, which probably doesn't help. Finding something to stimulate the mind sometimes helps, exercise I gladly pass on - not so good for the waistline. Usually when I feel lethargic I tend to sprawl out and watch a film probably the completely wrong thing to do.

If anyone has any tips for battling lethargy I'd love to have some ideas.

 

[Danfalc]

Mysti with being house bound i can end up being quite lethargic, what works for me is to do stuff as soon as i get up, because say i sit down to watch tv or go on my pc thats where ill be for the most of the day.So i get up and do the things which need doing like tidying up and that sort of stuff. Exercise works aswell, i mean its hard to get the enthusiasm to stick at it at first, say you only manage to do a bit one day, the next day you should find it a bit easier to do a bit more,if youve got dogs might be a good idea to take them out first thing in the morning so your active as soon as you get up.

Hope some of this has helped

 

[Mysti]

Hiya Dan

Your comment about working on things as soon as you get up explains a lot in my situation. I usually fall out of bed, grab tea and then sit down on the computer until about 2pm and now you've said that you're right it makes me feel tired for the rest of the day.
I cat sit once a year and for those few weeks I have a strict routine of waking at 8am and walking there before I do anything else and actually I feel a lot more active then. I'm slipping back into my old ways of going to bed late and getting up late which isn't good.
I must confess I'm not walking the dog lately it's usually my sister who takes both because I hate going alone and started feeling really dizzy a few months back, but I usually get nagged (barked at until I relent) into playing footie in the garden with her so that's better than nothing I guess

I used to exercise - not much only a few situps and light weights etc and you're right it's so difficult to be enthusiastic about it. I had a friend online who used to motivate me into doing it - well two actually lol one by telling me I was podgy - not sure why but it boosted my confidence for some reason - probably because it was such a close friendship that I knew he was joking, and the other friend made me feel guilty when he was slogging his guts out at the gym. I got out of the habit though - lack of space for one thing and have just become really lazy again

Your post helped loads - and I'm going to try and break the habit of morning internet surfing

 

[Danfalc]

Yeah i know where your coming from aswell mysti, it is so easy to fall back into old ways im the same, i mean i can do well for one week, then i think ive done well and give my self a rest, and thats it back into slob mode again :lol:

And your right about working out, you do need someone to encourage you to do it,i did really well on weights and press ups when i was doing it with an old mate of mine, we turned it into a competition, iknow thats probaly sounds like macho crap but it worked, I still do press ups but i find it hard to keep at em, so what ive done is put a pull up bar in my hallway so everytime i walk past it do like 30 pullups, and that seems to work so might be worth you doing that, you need a lot of upper body strength through.

Also dont be to hard on yourself about it, i mean when your stuck in the house, theres only so much you can do.Im the same with sleeping late and getting up late aswell, but its worth breaking that habit aswell if you can.Anyways ill stop nagging at you now mate and if i think of anything else ill let you know :wink:

 

[Mysti]

hehe cheers Dan

Just wanted to let you know I actually tried to put your tip into practice this morning.
Sidestepped the computer (I am sooo addicted to the net, never realise how much until I try not to use it) and went straight out for a little driving practice and then to do some gardening. I only started to feel worn out about an hour ago despite the heat and a minor row with my mum but definitely felt less lethargic today than usual
- so thanks for that! 8)

Anyways I best go I'm famished!

P.S I got a chin-up bar about 2 yrs ago but I'm only 5'3 so it was totally embarrassing to be there dangling and not much else :lol: maybe I had it too high?

 

[Danfalc]

Awww 5,3? thats cute mysti :wink: (im only about 5,4 i think myself )

*tries not to laugh* umm dangling? *bursts out laughing*
Yeah it was probaly too high Mysti,Ive got mine so its a couple of inches above my head height, mainly so i dont bash my head at night when nature calls, but yeah sounds like you need it lower *chuckles to himself*

And well done with getting up and getting on with stuff, glad i helped a bit,sorry to hear you had a row with your mum through, hope you sorted it out.

 

[Mysti]

lol Dan complete lack of sympathy - I dunno know :wink:

Thanks for the head height tip, it was banished to the garage but as soon as I can find the rubber washer from the end I'll give it a go and let you know how I get on

Yeah no worries over the row, we never stay mad at each other for too long. For some reason we always have arguments whilst gardening. I think it's like the saying too many cooks spoil the broth? we fall over each other trying to get jobs done then argue - just a case of tempers being high but a nice cuppa and things are fine again

 

[tupac]

hmmm...doing something right when i get up huh, that might work. i'll try to find something to keep me busy when i wake up. i've been try to workout but im not consistant because im so lazy. i guess i have to make more of a effort though. thanx for the replys guys

 

[Danfalc]

Hey 2pac

I got a little sidetracked talking about the lethargic side of your post

But yeah i think i feel simlar to you in the emotianal sence aswell, i do feel kinda empty like ive cut my self off from my feelings, and example of this is say someone says somthing funny, well ill laugh because i know its funny,but its because my head has told me to laugh not because i actualy find it funny.I dont know if that makes sence to you. or im way off the rictor scale here *shrugs*.

Another way to describe it is, well my mum is the only person in my fammily who has supported me through thick and thin, And i know i love her, but sadly i dont actualy feel that love towards her, its like i use logic in place of emotion. That probaly sounds really weird to some people, and to be honest it does to me seeing it here in writing,as i dont undestand it.
But hopefully you can understand some of the stuff ive wrote about and maybe its helped you understand a little about how your feeling.

 

[Nightshade]

sadly i dont actualy feel that love towards her, its like i use logic in place of emotion. That probaly sounds really weird to some people, and to be honest it does to me seeing it here in writing,as i dont undestand it.

OK, does this make sense? Last year I was at my brother's wedding (dreaded it for months beforehand as you might imagine). Now I know that he loves the woman he married and that they are well suited, but seeing them up there declaring their love - I just felt empty. I so wanted to feel happy for them, but all I could do was think "how could they possibly know they want to be with this person for the rest of their life?" and "I just can't imagine ever actually believing that of someone" and other unhelpful and rather selfish thoughts.

I gave them a really special present and I faked happy, but that was all I could do. Logically, I was positive about the wedding, but I couldn't make myself feel an emotion that wasn't there.

The way I understood it at the time was that I have never experienced that type of relationship, and I feel like I don't really understand it, so I can't empathise very well. When I was younger I could never understand why parents loved their children and why they seemed to get such joy from their achievements and successes. I knew that they did, but I couldn't comprehend the emotion. It was only through spending time with some much younger relatives and later my godson that it suddenly seemed to make sense.

But Danfalc, from what you say, I wonder if it also has to do with the overriding power of fear and the trying to switch off emotion to get away from that fear?

Tupac, I'm sorry I've got sidetracked on your thread. I was just wondering though - is there any chance that you have started to get that feeling of missing out because you are improving? It is just that my sense of loneliness from not having a boyfriend in some ways became worse when I started being less negative as a person. It started creeping into my consciousness that I really was missing something worth having, and not just something that would make me miserable.

Although a lot of what you describe sounds more like my experience of depression. Particularly when I was well drugged up on the pills that stopped my killing myself, but probably only becuse they sapped any motivation to do anything. That is another thing you should consider.

 

[Danfalc]

But Danfalc, from what you say, I wonder if it also has to do with the overriding power of fear and the trying to switch off emotion to get away from that fear?

First of all i want to say thanks for taking the time to reply Nightshade,I was starting to worry that i was the only one who felt like this.It makes sence to me about what you said about your brothers wedding.I mean yeah your right, if we havnt experienced those situations for ourselves we probaly cant understand the emotions that comes with them.

It also makes sence what you said about trying to switch off our emotions to block out the constant fear we have.I think that is the case for me,if i hadnt shut down my emotions im not sure i could cope with the pain that id experience with all the things im missing out on because of sp.Maybe because of the high intensity of fear that we have to go through with sp, our other emotions become dull in comparison.Too be honest im cluthing at straws here i really dont understand the whole thing, so sorry if i havnt really said anything usefull back to you, but even if i cant understand it, i can defintley relate.

 

[Nightshade]

Thanks Danfalc

I've had what I see as strange emotional reactions for my whole life (that is, different from what other people seemed to describe or what I read in books). The problem part of it for me was that I used to think I was a freak and an awful person for feeling this way, and this certainly contributed to my awful self-image, and probably my social phobia. And I'm sure that intensified the reactions. Now I just see it as "oh, so this is what my emotions are doing, probably not appropriate to the situation, but never mind, that's just how I am at the moment".

It's a relief I tell you. It was an amazing feeling when I finally learned I could stop passing negative judgement on my emotions and just worry about my actions.