I feel so worthless right now

[bigs]

For the past few days I had been doing better with phone calls. This is one thing that I really hate for the most part. I think many of you share that sentiment. Anyway, I have made 2 or 3 successful phone calls in the past 3 days with little anxiety and I thought that the anxiety may have been on the course of being reversed...

Until today when someone from my school calls to talk to me about financial aid. I answered confidently and then BAM, I feel anxiety coming on. Before she even finishes her first statement I can feel my breathing becoming more shallow. When it's my turn to talk I'm in full blown panic. I can barely utter any words without sounding like I'm crying or out of breath. I don't care about my reputation or being "judged" by her, I'm just so pissed at myself for apparently being so incompetent with the phone. I can't, for the life of me, figure out what's triggering this anxiety. I thought it was gone and then it just returned with no warning.


I can handle all the other shit that goes along with feeling anxious, the sweating, blushing, etc. I just hate when my voice trembles. If I could eliminate that one symptom I would be fine for my own purposes. Sometimes I want to rip my vocal cords out.

 

[Nvenya]

A trembling voice does not make you worthless. I did not have the exact same problem. Instead of a trembling voice I would end up putting words together that didn't make sense. Many times I would stumble over my words and end up saying more than I should about myself or my problems. I have this inability to lie so being on the phone was sometimes worse than talking to someone in person because I had no choice but to talk on the phone and no time to cover up my inadequacies. I actually had a similar situation with a phone call about financial aid, though it was some years ago. I ended up having to hang up on the person because I was so stressed out trying to answer questions which I didn't have the answer to because all I could think about was how stupid I must sound. I wish I could help you out with this, but the cure seems to be different for everyone. My phone skills improved greatly when I got into admin work and was forced to be on the phone. I tripped up a lot but in the end I started to improve. I had to really coach myself by saying phrases over and over again until I could say them in my sleep, but it really worked for me. I wish you luck and you aren't worthless!

 

[Neebo]

Hi bigs,I can totally relate to how you feel. I also find it very hard to make a phonecall too. Whenever I do I stammer and stutter and my voice is all trembly and the person on the other end just can't understand a word I'm saying :x Infact one time when I made a phonecall, I was stuttering and my voice was trembling so badly that the person just couldn't understand,they lost patience and I had the phone slammed down on me and I felt even worse.And I felt like such a loser too

 

[bigs]

I wish I could have hung up on them but it is likely someone I will come in contact with in the very near future so that wasn't an option.

What really makes me mad is that I was doing so much better and now it's like I've plunged to a new depth. I want to jump back into the fray and try again, but I don't know where to start. I'm thinking about just calling random places like stores and shopping malls just to ask questions and get more exposure. I'm calling the fin. aid office back tomorrow to clear some things up. Each time I keep telling myself I'm going to overcome it, but for some reason I just keep getting this voice problem. I can't even identify any automatic thoughts that are triggering it, and I think this would help me as well.

I'm just so mad right now.

 

[SPECTACULAR]

I don't answer the phone neither. my dad always yell at me because the phone is right next to me and i don't pick it up. I really don't care. plus, it depends on the person. If it's something official, it would be the worst. Calling friends is much better but it's still embarresing plus i don't have many of them.
about being out of breath, i can easily relate to that. it's funny, though. Tonight, i was with my dad in the car. he said something and then i had to reply saying something. I knew exactly what to say but i couldn't find breath to spit it out. I just looked away and pretended that i didn't hear him saying anything. and i too was thinking that i became good at replying to someone talks to me fast, but today i just failed!
we're all that man buddy. Hang in there. :roll:

 

[Invisible_Alien]

Hey Bigs, don't be so hard on yourself. We all slip and fall sometimes. We have our ups and downs. We just have to try to take a deep breath after falling and slowly get back up again. I used to have problems on the phone also. Now only occasionally will I stutter or take long pauses between words. The way I look at it is the person on the other end can't see me, has no idea what I'm thinking, so I put all my nervousness out of my mind. I actually prefer talking to people over the phone, this way I'm not making eye contact and they can't see how nervous I really am. I think calling random places like stores sounds like a good idea if it will help you build your confidence up. There's no reason for you to feel worthless.

 

[bigs]

Thanks for the kinds words, everyone. I will try again tomorrow since I have to call them back and make sure everything is straight with the fin. aid. I never remember getting this mad at myself for having an attack. I'm just upset because I thought I had it under control, at least over the phone.

 

[Angie_05]

I'm thinking about just calling random places like stores and shopping malls just to ask questions and get more exposure.

That's a good idea. And give yourself permission to mess up. It sounds like your anxiety is of the trembling voice. I myself have sort of developed an anxiety of my anxiety symptoms. If that is the case for you, you will probably need to allow those symptoms to happen without beating yourself up.

 

[bigs]

I'm thinking about just calling random places like stores and shopping malls just to ask questions and get more exposure.

That's a good idea. And give yourself permission to mess up. It sounds like your anxiety is of the trembling voice. I myself have sort of developed an anxiety of my anxiety symptoms. If that is the case for you, you will probably need to allow those symptoms to happen without beating yourself up.

You're exactly right. The other stuff is nothing that I care about. Blushing, sweating I can all deal with. I'm just anxious about being anxious and that means a trembling voice which I just cannot deal with for some reason. It's become an anxiety all its own. Is there any way (other than breathing exercises) to help?