I hate living

[VioletTears]

I feel ready to break in a bad way.

I don't know why I'm like this. I just get so FRANTIC. It hits me out of nowhere. I can't for the life of me figure out what even triggers this in me and I sure as hell can't figure out an escape.

I hate that I can't kill myself. I really, really hate it.

 

[littleneko]

That is a horrible feeling.. Like your head will explode with all the racing thoughts?

The only thing that helps me is just to write down whatever comes into my head, until I end up with pages and pages of rambling. Or just run until I am exhausted. It seems to be an ok release valve. Have you tried anything like this?

I don't know what the "*****" part was... are some words on this forum censored?

If you wanna talk I will listen (figuratively speaking).

Take care..

 

[bleach]

lil' niko,

The site censors "terminate myself" with different words. As far as I can tell it's the only phrase which is censored. :roll:

VT,

The only advice I can offer is to find a distraction. Focus on doing things and thinking things which you enjoy. I believe that is the secret to happiness: Distract yourself. Life is harder when you think about it. Philosophy leads to depression and with good reason. Existence isn't meant to be pondered. So don't do it. Think about trivial things and you will find yourself feeling relaxed, and you may find your life improving. Hopefully. Sorry if that doesn't help you, but I'm still learning myself.

 

[kuhtreen]

I know what you mean. Some days I'll be okay, but then all of a sudden, I'll have an excrutiatingly painful day (or sometimes a few days in a row).
I'll just feel like there is nothing left for me and that all I want to do is go home to God and never ever come back to this Earth. But it doesn't last. You just have to feel it and let it pass.
What helps me is writing poetry or songs, meditating, talking to God, and writing in my journal. Sometimes I feel a lot better if I just let myself cry for a while.
There is a lot of pain in this world, and I am so sorry that you are feeling it. But there is also a lot of love and hope, and lots of wonderful things. One day, everyone on this forum will find salvation. It just takes a bit of time. Hang in there.

 

[Jellybeans]

if you really wanna die, you should make it cool... like parachuting without any gear, or getting STONED to death (hell, read the bible... they used to smoke a lot of weed back then!).

alls i'm saying is if you're gonna die, make it AWESOME.

 

[kuze]

I feel like that alot, its always in the back of my mind, when things get harder then those feelings really emerge. Right now I'm still in throws of one of those episodes, but there is a part of me that wants to keep going, so even in this horrible place in my life I just keep going. I have to admit, it is very tiring.

 

[Walk]

There is a lot of pain in this world, and I am so sorry that you are feeling it. But there is also a lot of love and hope, and lots of wonderful things. One day, everyone on this forum will find salvation. It just takes a bit of time. Hang in there.

I liked that. It felt encouraging. I also liked it because you're considering the good and the bad in the world, not just the bad, as is the tendency with a lot of people who have personal problems (like me/us).

 

[VioletTears]

Thanks, guys... I need to keep going because I have a son. I just have no energy. I have no motivation to do anything. We just had our trash cans dragged off because I never paid the bill even though we had the money and they called to warn us... I just can't cope with life at all anymore.

 

[dottie]

i was thinking about you in my car while i was driving earlier today (before reading this post). i don't know you but i relate with most of your posts. it would be really sad if you weren't around anymore. i hope you can find happiness in something. do you have any interests? hobbies?

 

[sabbath92002]

Maybe you hate not living. If you're listening to your brain broadcast doom and gloom 24/7 then you're existing semiconsciously. Using mindfulness you can learn to "tune-out" the 24/7 doom and gloom station and bring your awareness to the present moment.

 

[Hylke]

if you really wanna die, you should make it cool... like parachuting without any gear, or getting STONED to death (hell, read the bible... they used to smoke a lot of weed back then!).

alls i'm saying is if you're gonna die, make it AWESOME.

You'd need to smoke an incredible amount of weed to do that, I doubt anyone could do that without passing out.

Personally I wouldn't go suïcide no matter what, I am currently working on my self control etc. to turn my life into one big project. Maybe I'll achieve something.

 

[Raynor]

if you really wanna die, you should make it cool... like parachuting without any gear, or getting STONED to death (hell, read the bible... they used to smoke a lot of weed back then!).

alls i'm saying is if you're gonna die, make it AWESOME.

you shuldnt say things like that it is sick and on an anxiety forum you need to grow up it is a sight for people that are very worried and upset with things..

 

[A-UK-Lovely]

well if u wanna cop out of life, but u dont want to kill yaself. you can always go shut yourself in a dark room for days on end, make sure u take food and water, coz like u said, you dont wana die.
Or you could fly out to peru and go live in a rainforst, nice and secluded, thats a more pleasent cop out i feel.

 

[Marie_knowsbest]

what slavery have you foresaken?