I HATE MYSELF

[Haunted]

FUCK...i went to go try to find a job and stop being such a anti-social loser at home all the time, and i couldn't even ask people for a application..i felt like people were staring at me, like im some fat piece of shit nobody cares about, wondering around all alone, when i did get the nerve to ask for an application i choked, and studdered, and acted like a retard, my throat was dry and i was sweating even though it was morning, i just wanna kill myself, im such a loser, im not in school, im 17 and i have no life, no friends, im a virgin and ive never even kissed a girl, my family hates me, all i do is stay in my room all day, i go out maybe once a week, if that, sometimes i spend 2 and 3 weeks at a time in my room by myself, when i do get invited places i say i dont want to go, i feel like i have no identity, i feel like im a tottaly different person then how most people look at me, sometimes i wish i did have friends, sometimes i like the fact im a loner and stay inside all the time, what scares me is my future, i cant stay in this room forever, whats gunna happen when my parents kick me out on my own, sometimes i really wish i would just die

 

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should do it? If life is so terrible then you need to get it over with . I think that you are probably a burden on your family. Either shape up or delete yourself. 8O

 

[Anonymous]

I know what your going through. It is so easy to hate yourself but that doesn't do any good because it doesn't. Like who you are. Your special. The first word you used on your post was fuck and no one else ever did. yay. my tips, i'm 16 and like you but know how to feel good:

1.Learn to control your mind. Use the reward system. When you do something social or think you are good looking, eat a cookie. cookies are yummy. your thoughts are really important cuz your so alone. your mind can be your bud. i like my mind, it knows how to laugh at myself and others and we get through bad times.

2.Do yoga, and mediate.

3.Write how you feel down then show your family(do they really hate you or is it all in your mind?) and get a doctor then a therapist. thats what i did.

4.Have a diary to vent in.

5.Realize lots of people have never yet have kissed.

6.Realize that more people than you realize have no friends cough me cough. but make friends with yourself. also, many people have friends but they feel so completely alone.

7.force yourself to leave your room. go to the store and look around. while there, while your shaking and scared, use your mind. think things like 'no one really hates me. i am ok i am fine. i can do this.' i do that. i really works!

good luck looking for a job. and i know a million people can tell you to change and love yourself BUT you will not until you are ready.

 

[Anonymous]

How can u say that Ralph? you dont know what this person is going thru, I do as I have been thru it and it isnt easy.

Its not easy to get out of this situation but my advice is try and make an effort.

Set yourself goals , short term ones and long term.

 

[Anonymous]

I know what are you going thru... but in my experience... I'll use this metaphor...

Social Phobia it's like a nail sticking in your flesh... you could think of it as your fear of socializing, your negative attitude, well you know.

Trying to cure Social Phobia it's like taking that nail out, it will hurt a lot more and bleed, but eventually the wound will close, with this I mean that, yea you will suffer to recover, sadly, but there is no other way to fight the fear and pain...

 

[Orlando]

Hi, Haunted and all!

Just wanted to say Haunted that when I was 17 I felt the same way. I really didn't have any one to talk to so I felt very alone, angry and frustrated.

Have you considered going to see a therapist? For me, I just needed someone to talk to. Someone that would take the time to listen to my problems and 'be in my corner." I needed encouragement and friendship. These were all the things I could not get from school or my family (at the time.)

But that's just my opinion. :wink:

Take care!

 

[Orlando]

Hi, Haunted and all!

Just wanted to say Haunted that when I was 17 I felt the same way. I really didn't have any one to talk to so I felt very alone, angry and frustrated.

Have you considered going to see a therapist? For me, I just needed someone to talk to. Someone that would take the time to listen to my problems and 'be in my corner." I needed encouragement and friendship. These were all the things I could not get from school or my family (at the time.)

But that's just my opinion. :wink:

Take care!

 

[LilMissTragic]

I have been in your situation a million times or more, at your age i was a permenant fixture of my bedroom and I thought everyone, including my family, hated me too but its not true, they probably just dont understand what your going through and are not sure what to do about it. I think you need to talk to someone, just writing what you did on here is a good start. If you want to talk you can email me if you like.

 

[Haunted]

IM DONE WITH THIS FUCKING SHIT, IM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE PICKING ON ME. IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF BEFORE I DO HARM ON OTHERS

 

[Anonymous]

I know i ranted on before but now i'll say (or did i) that your not alone. i thought my family hated me too and everyone. i'm working on that now.

look at it this way, things can only get better.

would it help to share somthing crappt that happened to you recently? i'll share then you share. yay.

today during class i was called to do a presentation and when i got in front of the class i started crying and ran to the bathroom! yay how embarrassing.

 

[milk]

Maybe you should do it? If life is so terrible then you need to get it over with . I think that you are probably a burden on your family. Either shape up or delete yourself. 8O

Ignore this prat, he was concieved with a weak sperm

 

[mystery]

Hi Haunted!
How is it there at sunny California?
I hope u don't feel so down... i'm also in the same situation here, hope u can hang on there. i wanna be positive and just keep trying, hope u do the same too okay!

 

[Anonymous]

You're not alone

Dear friend,ı understand you very well.I've been living same conditions and despite ı'm 33 ı still can not work at any job.I can not even thinking about working in my dreams!!! It seems so dreadful to me.I think until the end of my live ı'll stay at home as a person who can't work!!!...

 

[Anonymous]

No problem

Reading that post honestly made me feel a little better. I really don't understand what you're going through, because I did in fact have a girlfriend at age seventeen, and she was hot. I also had a lot of friends. But seriously though, man, you're in a bad mental state right now. Just try to , oh say, FUCKING STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!! every day all day from now on, and with time, you'll get through the darkness. Life isn't usually a goddamn fiesta. Chin up and trudge on. Best of wishes.

 

[Anonymous]

and to emrah

Emrah, I just read how you can't even dream about getting a job due to your disorder...I have 14 steps to change your life... 1.STOP 2.THAT 3.YOU 4.LAZY 5. PIECE 6.OF 7.SHIT 8.AND 9.STOP 10.SUBSISTING 11.ON 12.OUR 13.TAX 14.DOLLARS!!

 

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should do it? If life is so terrible then you need to get it over with . I think that you are probably a burden on your family. Either shape up or delete yourself. 8O

wtf? sounds like you should with that comment.

 

[Hamble]

I think there should be respected, professional mental health workers monitoring these forums. Maybe the people who run this site should look into that? If that's impossible maybe the webmaster could remove offesnsive and ridiculing posts which do more harm than good to trusting "posters".

Alot of people who post in here are very vunerable and extremely sensitive and it concerns me to know that their posts and comments are open to ridcule and incitement by ignorant shites who are still suffering from a playground bully mentallity.

They really could do a lot of harm and need to be censored in places like this.

Would appreciate more input and monitoring from the site managers???

 

[Anonymous]

FUCK...i went to go try to find a job and stop being such a anti-social loser at home all the time, and i couldn't even ask people for a application..i felt like people were staring at me, like im some fat piece of shit nobody cares about, wondering around all alone, when i did get the nerve to ask for an application i choked, and studdered, and acted like a retard, my throat was dry and i was sweating even though it was morning, i just wanna kill myself, im such a loser, im not in school, im 17 and i have no life, no friends, im a virgin and ive never even kissed a girl, my family hates me, all i do is stay in my room all day, i go out maybe once a week, if that, sometimes i spend 2 and 3 weeks at a time in my room by myself, when i do get invited places i say i dont want to go, i feel like i have no identity, i feel like im a tottaly different person then how most people look at me, sometimes i wish i did have friends, sometimes i like the fact im a loner and stay inside all the time, what scares me is my future, i cant stay in this room forever, whats gunna happen when my parents kick me out on my own, sometimes i really wish i would just die

I was just like you at that age.The problem is i'm 30 now and not employed/employable,still a virgin,no friends to speak of and living with mom.IF THIS DOES'NT MOTIVATE YOU TO GET HELP NOW,I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL!!!!!!!

 

[Hamble]

IF THIS DOES'NT MOTIVATE YOU TO GET HELP NOW,I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL!!!!!!!

why do you leave messages under an annoymous ID? why not sign up and register? If you're so perfect, why not give us your identity and tell us all about yourself

 

[Anonymous]

twowords its pretty dishonorable to leave somewhere saying you'll never return then to come back a few months down the line..just leave you dont serve a purpose here apart from pissing people off and upsetting them. These are peoples fucking lives ya know