eran
Member
hey im a 25 yr old fun,intelligent man trapped in a socialphobic shell!
I could go on for pages and pages about my life or lack of it but let me give you it brieflly.
I am an only child of a single mother,im mixed race and was always the fun happy go lucky kid at school until around the age of 14 i started becoming nervous and shy of situations for no apparant reason whatsoever!
At 16 i managed to get into a proffesional football youth team but unfortunatlely the dressing room banter was too much and after turning up to team sessions and meetings half drunk(so i could get through them!) my performance obviously went downhill and i eventually quit.
3 years later i got into uni and hoped to start again,i lived in halls and made friends early,mainly due to the freshers events were we were all pissed but unfortunatley you cant be pissed all the time and i eventually became a loner,never leaving my room unless i had drank a fewe cans to ease the anxiety,i heard whispers from people saying i was an alchy,which i suppose in a way was true.
As usual i quit,got through many part time jobs getting heavily into debt with my bank,loan companies and credit cards,also i was evicted from my flat foir failure of payments,due to me not working consistently,due to the anxiety caused by social phobia!God knows how many court hearings i must have but hey its too late now!
ive been homeless ever since,relying on my mother(who doesnt know i have sa and thinks i still live in my flat but need money help)
Im still battling the daily suicide thoughts daily but fior anyone who thinks they have it bad,think of me!Im here now using the citys library computers where i spend the majority of my day,before it closes and then i go off and wander through the night eventually sleeping in a park behind my old flat.
10 years ago i was looking at a career as a proffesional footballer,now all i want is a friend.
thanx for listening
wayne
I could go on for pages and pages about my life or lack of it but let me give you it brieflly.
I am an only child of a single mother,im mixed race and was always the fun happy go lucky kid at school until around the age of 14 i started becoming nervous and shy of situations for no apparant reason whatsoever!
At 16 i managed to get into a proffesional football youth team but unfortunatlely the dressing room banter was too much and after turning up to team sessions and meetings half drunk(so i could get through them!) my performance obviously went downhill and i eventually quit.
3 years later i got into uni and hoped to start again,i lived in halls and made friends early,mainly due to the freshers events were we were all pissed but unfortunatley you cant be pissed all the time and i eventually became a loner,never leaving my room unless i had drank a fewe cans to ease the anxiety,i heard whispers from people saying i was an alchy,which i suppose in a way was true.
As usual i quit,got through many part time jobs getting heavily into debt with my bank,loan companies and credit cards,also i was evicted from my flat foir failure of payments,due to me not working consistently,due to the anxiety caused by social phobia!God knows how many court hearings i must have but hey its too late now!
ive been homeless ever since,relying on my mother(who doesnt know i have sa and thinks i still live in my flat but need money help)
Im still battling the daily suicide thoughts daily but fior anyone who thinks they have it bad,think of me!Im here now using the citys library computers where i spend the majority of my day,before it closes and then i go off and wander through the night eventually sleeping in a park behind my old flat.
10 years ago i was looking at a career as a proffesional footballer,now all i want is a friend.
thanx for listening
wayne
