I went out to the pub for the first time in a year.

[Dryad]

First time in a year going out anywhere except for the shop. My sister was over from the UK and wanted to get me out. I thought I was being paranoid that people were looking at us, laughing, sniggering. When we played pool I was self concious and I thought the people watching us were doing the same thing... Until my sister (who is 6ft and a hard faced biatch) squared up to a guy and shouted "WTF IS EVERYONES FKING PROBLEM?" My sis had never been to the local village before and now she sees why I hate the place so much. I thought I was paranoid because everyone told me I was. Turns out I am no paranoid and that down is full of horrible people. I feel better because I know it is not me! For 12 years I thought it was me. Maybe it still is but someone else see's it too. I never done anything wrong, I kept quiet, liked reading books but I had rotten fruit thrown at me and even glass bottles. There is a damn good reason I do not go out. I am depressed though because I love my home but do I want to live my life here? The grass looks greener everywhere else I lived. I run a B&B and I have a 8 bedroom house 12ft from the sea, it is an amazing home that I share my parents. It will be mine to take on but do I really want to with these people here?

Just needed to vent what I is going through my head.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

It's good that you got that out, anyway~ and now you've someone else who can confirm that you're not just completely paranoid!
That's terrifying in my opinion... I get why you don't go out.
Must be so hard on your nerves. ::


I understand that you've a family business to take on but is it possible to say... leave for a year or a few months- get out and see new places?
You may end up finding that you're much happier somewhere else... or you may find that 'home is where the heart is', afterall?
A family business is important but so is your confidence and sanity.

I'm just saying that if you feel that you should have a new experience- now is the time to go for it; jump in head first and see if you can look at things from a fresh perspective.
Something to think about anyway.

 

[Silatuyok]

oh geez, that is harsh. I'm sorry to hear that you have such a wonderful home and opportunity, but such a horrible town to live in. I dunno, maybe it is just a matter of showing your face more often so that people get more used to seeing you around? Can't say that I blame you for not wanting to be there, though.

I wish I had more help to offer. Maybe one day you can get out of there and just leave it all behind...there's got to be another seaside bed and breakfast out there in a cool little town somewhere with nice people that's just waiting to be managed by you!

 

[Feathers]

oh gosh, sounds like a really weird experience... (and town) sorry to hear about it...

hmm... Sometimes people just smile or it can be 'harmless', or they may look dumb trying to charm you... It could also be a weird place (we stumbled into a gambling joint once and it was very weird..) But rotten fruit and bottles? ugh! Was that when you were a kid or older?

Some people might also think a pub be not a place for women without a man (were there other women there?) I'm totally for equal rights, some people in countryside might still be oldfashioned..
Sometimes different fashion sense can also be, uhm, misunderstood... (personal experience in the past sometimes, eg if you look more 'urban/modern/artsy' and people might dress differently..)

Also wondering, if there might be some history going on - did someone else want to buy that house, or did your parents or other ancestors (or previous owners of that house) have any conflicts/problems with the people there? (Did your parents inherit or buy the place, and were there any other bidders/contestants?) Or someone with a similar surname angered the people before/somewhere else...? (Maybe I read too many novels, just thought of that though..) You don't have to answer, maybe just think about it or ask your folks, maybe do some research.. Sometimes people can sue or hate each other over land or road rights or such... (which is unfortunate, has happened in our countryside too though, yikes..)

Or could it be they just really hate who they see as 'the rich' - I read a Wikipedia entry on where you live and it's informative.. (if I googled up the right one..) with recent uprisings in the world (October 15th etc) maybe people got 'antsy' again, hmm.. Is the area generally poor/unemployed/workers...?

You're really lucky to live so close to the sea etc! If you inherit the place you'll have the right to sell it too, I assume? And you can think about that when the time comes? Can your sis (or other relatives) help with the biz? Is it better when you go out in other towns/cities? (It may sound weird, I knew a guy who got harassed everywhere he went, so he made sure to always go out in a big group, he had a particular 'look' about him apparently that irked some 'macho guys'.. he was really nice though..)

I hope you're anonymous enough on this site... And that you meet some nice people from Ireland too!!
I've been in Ireland and people generally seemed nice, so this was very surprising for me!!

 

[Dryad]

It's good that you got that out, anyway~ and now you've someone else who can confirm that you're not just completely paranoid!
That's terrifying in my opinion... I get why you don't go out.
Must be so hard on your nerves. ::


I understand that you've a family business to take on but is it possible to say... leave for a year or a few months- get out and see new places?
You may end up finding that you're much happier somewhere else... or you may find that 'home is where the heart is', afterall?
A family business is important but so is your confidence and sanity.

I'm just saying that if you feel that you should have a new experience- now is the time to go for it; jump in head first and see if you can look at things from a fresh perspective.
Something to think about anyway.

oh geez, that is harsh. I'm sorry to hear that you have such a wonderful home and opportunity, but such a horrible town to live in. I dunno, maybe it is just a matter of showing your face more often so that people get more used to seeing you around? Can't say that I blame you for not wanting to be there, though.

I wish I had more help to offer. Maybe one day you can get out of there and just leave it all behind...there's got to be another seaside bed and breakfast out there in a cool little town somewhere with nice people that's just waiting to be managed by you!

I wish I could but sure take a look at jobs.ie there are feck all jobs than what there was a few years back. I am stuck here for the future, tis just the way it will be for some time. Hopefully someday I can leave.

Friends of my family in the area say that the down is the biggest group of Aholes in the world. Every single one of them is bad in themselves but get them all together and oh boy...

 

[coyote]

wow, that sounds horrible - there is really no excuse for that kind of behavior from grown ups

at least you were able to determine that it wasn't just your own paranoia

it sounds like a lovely house and property

 

[Richey]

yeah i've been put off going to certain pubs as well from similar experiences to yours, it made me avoid mainstream pubs completely. i think what can make things easier is to find really warm and welcoming places to go, it could be a restaurant instead or a classy pub somewhere else that you like. find the places to go that you enjoy and feel good in.

 

[B-rabbit]

i feel for ya man, this dont sound easy. do you have any friends in your town?? obv the way things are make it hard for you to be a part of your community because you clearly feel very isolated from your townsfolk. it sounds as if one thing you struggle with is self condifdence as well as you are very foccused on the negative things that happened. start with the postives here man. U got out the house and to the pub!! that is huge an awesome you should be proud you did this. you spent some time with your sister who sounds like someone you care about and enjoy being with another positive. you live near the sea in what sounds like a beautiful place with some finaicial security in your furture, something the majority of people in the world would kill for. start to look at the things that are good in your life and build on them, not look at whats bad and try to fix that.

if i were u this is what i would try. go down to the same pub. once a week minimum maybe on a friday or saturday when it will be at its bussiest. resolve to spend at least half an hour to an hour there. have one drink some food maybe. smile and be sincere to people. dont slink into a corner sit at the bar maybe try to spark a conversation with the bartender or somebody else sitting at the bar. ask them about themselves but more importantly LISTEN to what they have to say and try to find out a little bit more about whatever they may say. tell them some things you are interested in dont go overboard but dont be too brief either. Dont have anything u feel is interesting enough then resolve to find a new hobby take it on and get passionate about it. these people may be *******s but while your there look to find something you like about them even if they arnt nice to you, maybe u like the jokes some guy tells, the way someone smokes a ciggarette, the way they dress, something just find anything u can that u like about someone even if they are an *******. do this you will definately build up at least a few people that wont mind and maybe even more suprisngly want to talk to you when u go in for your once a week drink. be positive and happy and enjoy that time where you are part of your community. at first its probably gunna be hard and the *******s may still be *******s but if your a happy guy who goes in once a week pretty soon these people are gunna stop doing this to you because people wont stand for what they are doing if they feel you deserve it. at the end of your outing when u get home think maybe even right down the things that went well that evening, dont worry about the bad, just look at what u enjoyed and finally dont be discouraged by anything that didnt go so well, most of the time u will find that things that matter to u dont really matter much to other people. do this and i promise you your situation will improve.