If a girl
- Thread starter gio289
- Start date
RedRibbons
Well-known member
she's afraid of hurting your feelings - and maybe afraid of dealing with the repercussions of what she has to say. Or she's confused about her own feelings. She doesn't want to say it the wrong way. She needs space to cool down or something. Not really sure - since I'm not her and don't know the context..
care to elaborate?
care to elaborate?
(this is a VERY condensed version lol) well, i been seeing this girl for the past 5 months or so. She has SA also but we are both to the point where we are ok and dont stay couped up in the house all the time. We both have problems but we kind of complement eachother. We are interested in the same things and have been through many of the same things in our life. Things are really rocky because she lives in florida and i live in belize. I went to visit her at the end of august this year for the first time and wow. It was the shit. lol. We both had fun and kind of cemented that something was there. Things changed a little when I came back i guess because we started to feel deeper for eachother and every little thing would make her feel like i would want to not talk to her again. She is strong, but not in the emotions department.
As of late, I thought things were atleast going to be ok until I see her again in December, but this morning she emailed me and told me she was cursing me out in her head. She also aplogized to me if she was being a bit** last night. Not really a b**** i would say, more like a bit annoying. Then she told me this this morning and said that she doesnt know whats wrong with her. I said well maybe u need some space from me. And she said yea maybe, and that she just doesnt want to say anything to make me hate her. She said she will let me know when she is ready to talk again. Im lost to the fact that I dont know if this is the end or what. usually when someone says this, it definitely is the end.
As of late, I thought things were atleast going to be ok until I see her again in December, but this morning she emailed me and told me she was cursing me out in her head. She also aplogized to me if she was being a bit** last night. Not really a b**** i would say, more like a bit annoying. Then she told me this this morning and said that she doesnt know whats wrong with her. I said well maybe u need some space from me. And she said yea maybe, and that she just doesnt want to say anything to make me hate her. She said she will let me know when she is ready to talk again. Im lost to the fact that I dont know if this is the end or what. usually when someone says this, it definitely is the end.
AmunetSide
Active member
As a girl (which makes me all-knowing 
j/k) I would say it's one of two things:
1. You said she had things of her own to deal with, so she might be going through a rough spot and doesn't want to drag you into it because she cares about you and doesn't want to say anything in her anger/frustration that would hurt you.
2. She wants space (which doesn't ALWAYS mean it's over).
Just tell her you understand (even if you don't) and let her do what she needs to do. If she's as cool as you say, she should appreciate you for it.
Good Luck
j/k) I would say it's one of two things:1. You said she had things of her own to deal with, so she might be going through a rough spot and doesn't want to drag you into it because she cares about you and doesn't want to say anything in her anger/frustration that would hurt you.
2. She wants space (which doesn't ALWAYS mean it's over).
Just tell her you understand (even if you don't) and let her do what she needs to do. If she's as cool as you say, she should appreciate you for it.
Good Luck
Dronee
1
As a girl (which makes me all-knowing
1. You said she had things of her own to deal with, so she might be going through a rough spot and doesn't want to drag you into it because she cares about you and doesn't want to say anything in her anger/frustration that would hurt you.
2. She wants space (which doesn't ALWAYS mean it's over).
Just tell her you understand (even if you don't) and let her do what she needs to do. If she's as cool as you say, she should appreciate you for it.
Good Luck
I'm a guy. I'm not sure about 2 personally... But (1) Yeah... It's very possible.
thanks red and amunet. i guess ur right. its just that if i stop caring about her because i feel like its the end, i wont care for her anymore. thats just me and i hate all of these emotions and stuff, so i just put a barrier up and not let anyone get too close. she is the first one to break through it. i guess time will tell tho
and lol dronee, im hoping for that one man
and lol dronee, im hoping for that one man
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AmunetSide
Active member
No prob. I do the wall thing too. Once I feel threatened I emotionally withdraw from that person and that's it. I think we lose out on a lot when we do that...
AmunetSide
Active member
It's a dicey situation. Don't want to be vunerable, but don't want to be cold and detached, either.
*sigh* Sometimes it's easier just staying in the house, lol.
*sigh* Sometimes it's easier just staying in the house, lol.
agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
aw gio =/ everyone is giving you good suggestions, so i'll just give you another so you can feel it out, ya know? some girls are big on safety/security.. they feel like they don't want to be with you, but don't want to say it's over and have you move on just in case they end up wanting you back... which is pretty selfish, but sometimes that's how it goes... they want to keep you riiiight there, just close enough to where you'll still be hangin' around if they decide they want you back... maybe she doesn't know if she wants to be with you, but she's not ready for you to not want to be with her, so she said the 'space' thing... i don't know bud, i'm the kind of girl to really just say exactly what is up, haha.. if i say i don't know, i'm confused about what i want -- then that means i'm confused as hell in my head and i'm confused about what i want, lol.. i've found that when i question things, anyway, it's just not there with that person..
i hope things work out, gio! good luck bud!
i hope things work out, gio! good luck bud!
Dronee
1
Maybe being friends is not such a bad idea. I had someone with whom we ended as friends and it's pretty good. Maybe I'm just old-school (or maybe just plain old) but I think real love matures with time. Gets better with it.
RedRibbons
Well-known member
It sounds like to me, she has strong feelings for you, but she has things to work out and she doesn't want to say anything and regret it later. Maybe she is afraid of saying something that will hurt the relationship, because the relationship is important to her.
lol I have a problem with talking before thinking really hard about the consequence in relationships cause it's so darn important for me to be open
not always the best choice. I think you might underestimate her emotional strength.
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RedRibbons
Well-known member
I guess all you can do is wait - until she's ready to talk about it? Maybe she doesn't even know why she's doing it really - like it's just a response to something she doesn't understand well - herself.
Darker Than Black
Well-known member
lol haha. thanx anyways darker