I'm freaking out.

[AnxietyHater]

Hello everyone.

I am a 20 year old college student who loves to play sports. I've played sports all my life but my parents have never really seen me play since I just play for fun and not really on any sort of team.

I am pretty sure I have social anxiety considering I can't make eye contact with anyone for any time at all and I am a very shy person.

I have a intramural football game today in about 4 hours. I was telling my mom about the game when she decided she wanted to come watch. I know I shouldn't have a problem with this and I know there is nothing to be embarassed about, but for some reason I'm going crazy over the fact that my mom and sister are going to come to the game. The field will probably have over 100 people there, none of them being over the age of 25. Obviously my mom is much older than that. I've been trying to think of excuses to give to her but i'm pretty much stuck the way it is. I've been praying for rain all day and wasn't able to sleep well last night.

I know i'm a jerk for being embarassed of my own mother coming to a game but no matter how much logic I use, I'm still completely freaked out about the game that is only 4 hours away!

If any of you have any tips on how I can keep this anxiety in check, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

 

[Hellraising]

I am pretty sure I have social anxiety considering I can't make eye contact with anyone for any time at all and I am a very shy person.

You may just be very shy. Not making eye contact doesn't mean you have SA.

 

[Hellraising]

And please, if you really have SA, you'd be freaked out about the fact that there are 100 people there watching you. You're just embarrases about your mom. That's all.

 

[AnxietyHater]

Well there are 100 people out on the fields, but none of them are actually watching my particular game because there may be 5-6 games going on at one time. I guess I'm not really embarassed about her being there during the game because when I'm playing sports thats all I can focus on. I'm just worried about before and after the game.

 

[Hellraising]

That's not SA.

 

[AnxietyHater]

I guess that makes me feel better :roll: . Thanks for the help.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

i completely disagree, i've been diagnosed with sa and i can make presentations and such but only from years of mental preparation and CBT. but the thing that always got me is if i KNEW someone in the class, because the way it was in my mind was they would be able to SEE that i was nervous. since they actually know me, they can tell those things. i'm so much better around strangers because then i can feel like i can fake it. at least now that i've gotten much more confident with myself. that's a key part of SA, thinking that people will be able to tell you're nervous so you anticipate the symptoms that go with being embarrassed liek blushing, but not everyone's the same. people react differently to different things.

i see what you're going through AnxietyHater, have you tried talking to your mom?

 

[AnxietyHater]

Not really, I'm more of the type of shy person that keeps everything hidden. From what everyone else sees, they probably just think I'm a loner who doesn't want to talk to anyone. I can talk to very close friends but usually I am just disinterested in the conversation. When it comes to talking with people I don't know I am just a mumbling incoherent mess and the other person would be lucky to even get a glimpse of my eyes. I've had people ask me "what are you looking at?" while we were talking before. I'm pretty sure I have SA because I always have anxiety over things that other people seem to not even care about. I'm always thinking "What if?" considering all the bad things that could happen. The reason I'm not nervous normally when I play sports is because I've been playing sports for so long so I'm very accustomed to it and I'm very competitive so that aspect usually takes over me during the game. Before and after the game are completely different stories though. I play QB and usually don't even have enough courage to round up my team and go over things before the game because I do not want to interrupt what they are doing.

If you still don't think I have SA, we can discuss my relationship with females.

 

[J]

Sounds like SA to me. Not everyone has it so severely that they are housebound. Some folks only have it in certain situations. It's like depression; for some people, "life just sucks", while others can't get out of bed and are always looking for ways to off themselves.

I can relate to having that "performance focus" that seems to hold SA at bay for a while. A large part of that is that, while in a situation such as playing QB, you're then totally expected to play QB, and it requires so much focus that your mind has no time for the SA (if only we could do that at will!). With all my issues, I still used to be totally capable of getting up on a stage and 'singing' for my old band. (When people would talk to me after the set, though, that was more challenging... and oddly enough it's easier to play before LOTS of people than just a handful--perhaps because there's less chance of an individual's harsh judgement getting through-- I dunno.)

In my (unprofessional) book, if it's utterly irrational, goes beyond "shy but warms up with time", is persistent and causes much distress, and includes fear of being judged (often masked by statements like "i don't want to bother them {for just me}"), then it looks, walks and quacks like SA.

Welcome aboard!

 

[Snowcrash]

i'm so much better around strangers because then i can feel like i can fake it.

Yeah, I can relate to that. I remember this horrible experience I had when I got dragged into taking a few dance lessons. I think there were like 4 lessons, they were all painful, but one of the times a friend came along just to watch.... oh the misery... I could just about handle the lessons in front of the strangers taking the class, but knowing that someone I knew was there, made it feel like so much attention was focused on me. This was especially unfun because of my extreme lack of skill.

Hum, good luck with Mom at the football game. Hopefully you play better than I dance (that wouldn't take much :lol: ), and I guess be glad that your family is interested enough in you to make the effort to see you do something. In all of high school my Dad made it to 1 event I was in.

 

[AnxietyHater]

I just went to my game and it actually wasn't that bad. I know I felt like crap for a good 24 hours preceding the game but I somehow got myself to go play and it turned out that my mom being there didn't cause any embarassment. I just wanted to tell you guys about this so some of you know that even if you have SA, if you can get yourself to still do things even though you're very frightened like I was, you'll feel better afterwards hopefully.

 

[Bexi]

Sometimes i do force myself, maybe not "force" but convince! to do something that scares me, and do it impulsively, so I don't have to think so much about it, and it may be scary but then i've achieved something!

Well done to you Mr. anxiety hater