I'm in alot of pain :(

[whos_that_girl]

I feel horrible, so much that I want to die again. I'm very much alone, no friends, no family, and I want to get out there again and work, but ofcourse i'm always too scared. My phobia is extreme, so much that I avoid almost all people I come in contact to. I guess because I have lost so many people in my life, i'm not risking at all losing someone else. I do try to meet people, even have gone on a date or two in the last couple months, but it usually ends there. This has literally gone on for years since I was a teenager, and has gotten worse because of what I know people have said about me, to my face. I'm too quiet,weird,in my own world, but it has always been very painful for me. How do I overcome this devil once and for all? I really miss my mom in times like this, she was all I had. ::

 

[Kathryn]

I've never lost someone close to me, but I know how you feel with your anxiety. I've never had a date with a boy EVER so I guess you can't be doing so bad...
I think you should go to therapy like I did, it helps to talk to someone who has indirect involvement in you life.

 

[StonedBob]

Hi.
Well at least, you're not completely alone, you can talk with us on this forum.
People won't judge you there. Maybe there are members of this forum living close to your house?
It seems it's possible to overcome SA, some members of this forum did, so don't loose hope. I think it takes time but at least it's possible.
As said Kathryn, are you seeing a psychologist? He will be the best person to advise and help you. And if you feel really depressed (well you look very depressed), you should also see a psychiatrist.
Don't give up, and don't forget you're not alone, you're welcome in this forum.

 

[Havocan]

It's hard struggling with these issues. Kind of feels like you're being chained slowly without the possibility to escape. But there's hope. First thing you need to realise and accept is that you've GOT to force yourself into talking to people if you want friends and someone to hang out with. Just behave appropriately and be a nice person. You've also got to "risk" losing someone again by not shutting yourself out. It's difficult, but fully possible, once you admit to yourself that you're the master of your life and have the chance to do something about it^^.