AsHLeY
Well-known member
I generally try to pretend that I'm excited about going some place for a bonfire/party when deep down, I'm freaking out times ten! I try to pretend that the social things that are supposed to be fun, actually ARE fun to me. I've always felt anxiety around people I don't know and it takes me sooo long to feel comfortable enough to talk to them the way I do with my close friends & family. It's so weird how different I act with people I do know versus the people I do not.
I'm actually pretty sarcastic, really opinionated, I can definitely take a joke and I'm usually really happy around family/friends but whenever I meet new people, I'm very stand-offish & I avoid them like the plague (if I can.) I don't think that I'm stand-offish in a nasty or mean way ~ it's more because I don't wanna feel anxiety & I don't want them to SEE that I feel anxiety. I also have a mega problem with making eye contact.
The weird part is that people always seem to view me as being a stuck-up snob, which couldn't be further from the truth. I guess it's just a barrier I put up so that no one will know that my social skills with people I'm not familiar with suck to the 3rd degree. I hate that they think I'm snotty but the only alternative with having social anxiety would be for me to act all sheepish. I still have pride and there's no way I'll show that I'm intimidated by strangers.
Even though I feel apprehensive when people I don't know give me what I perceive as dirty looks or whatever, I still refuse to walk by them looking all meek/submissive.... to me, that's like a white-flag for bowing down and getting walked all over by people. I'm not even sure why I think that way ~ I can't say that I was ever really picked on but I felt left out a lot in school and I totally suck at reading facial expressions/body language. I continually wonder to myself "was that a dirty look?" or "were they offended when I said that" etc...I'm waaay too analytical!
I'm not gonna lie, I am a naturally quiet person but recently, I overheard somebody at work say "She thinks she's better than everyone, that's why she doesn't talk very much." It's always the little comments made by people I don't even know that totally crush me. I hate it when people think they're superior to everyone else ~ so being compared to them really bothers me! Why is gossip always the #1 thing??
I dunno, I guess I just really wish I didn't have to pretend so hard that I can function normally in social situations. Life would be so much easier without social anxiety!
I'm actually pretty sarcastic, really opinionated, I can definitely take a joke and I'm usually really happy around family/friends but whenever I meet new people, I'm very stand-offish & I avoid them like the plague (if I can.) I don't think that I'm stand-offish in a nasty or mean way ~ it's more because I don't wanna feel anxiety & I don't want them to SEE that I feel anxiety. I also have a mega problem with making eye contact.
The weird part is that people always seem to view me as being a stuck-up snob, which couldn't be further from the truth. I guess it's just a barrier I put up so that no one will know that my social skills with people I'm not familiar with suck to the 3rd degree. I hate that they think I'm snotty but the only alternative with having social anxiety would be for me to act all sheepish. I still have pride and there's no way I'll show that I'm intimidated by strangers.
Even though I feel apprehensive when people I don't know give me what I perceive as dirty looks or whatever, I still refuse to walk by them looking all meek/submissive.... to me, that's like a white-flag for bowing down and getting walked all over by people. I'm not even sure why I think that way ~ I can't say that I was ever really picked on but I felt left out a lot in school and I totally suck at reading facial expressions/body language. I continually wonder to myself "was that a dirty look?" or "were they offended when I said that" etc...I'm waaay too analytical!
I'm not gonna lie, I am a naturally quiet person but recently, I overheard somebody at work say "She thinks she's better than everyone, that's why she doesn't talk very much." It's always the little comments made by people I don't even know that totally crush me. I hate it when people think they're superior to everyone else ~ so being compared to them really bothers me! Why is gossip always the #1 thing??
I dunno, I guess I just really wish I didn't have to pretend so hard that I can function normally in social situations. Life would be so much easier without social anxiety!
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